Unlocking Potential #15: Q&A With Donna White

Donna WhiteOnce you’re on a social platform long enough, you get to see the changes and improvements people make in their lives. You get to see some people transition to becoming a linchpin.

Donna White, when we started following each other on Twitter, was making a name for herself. Now she’s regularly writing at PrimeTime and making a positive ruckus in the world of PR.

I’m happy to have her as the 15th participant of my Unlocking Potential series.

Without further ado, welcome, Donna.

Q: What’s Prime Time all about? What inspired you to pursue PR?

Donna: I wanted to be a journalist so studied it at university, but quickly discovered that I didn’t have the personality to survive any trash talk from a newsroom editor. What can I say? I’m a positive person. So, flicking through Guardian Media jobs in desperation, I came across a graduate position at a PR agency. It required creativity, communication and people skills – the same things I’d been studying for. So I took the plunge and, four interviews later, I got the job. A hop, skip and a jump later into in-house comms for a UK charity, I’ve recently switched over to digital marketing.

Prime Time started because I love writing and had lots of opinions about the industry and new campaigns that I wanted to comment on without securing approval from managers, directors and clients. It was my personal space where I could test my ideas – and set myself up as a PR champion and influencer. Two years later my baby is in its terrible twos and still going strong. #Proud.

Q: How might people be viewing PR wrong? Why would anyone think ill of such an amazing profession?

Donna: Anyone who thinks PR is service which should be viewed in isolation is clearly mistaken. It only works to its full potential when complemented with marketing and digital.

Integration is key and if brands are using multiple agencies for various campaign components, they should be clear on ways of working. Failing this, just hire a fully-integrated agency. See Q10 below for more details.

Q: What marketing advice do you find yourself giving most often?

Donna: Ensure your brand has criteria as to what conversations it should and shouldn’t get involved with – aka if you don’t have anything nice to say don’t say it at all!

American Apparel and GAP never cease to amaze me that they risk their reputation for a cheap tweet.

Also, don’t leave social media to your juniors unless they’re well-trained and trustworthy. It’s a series of mini windows into your brand values and, given enough chances, people will look. Don’t let them catch you undressed.

Q: I was chatting with a friend the other day reminiscing about a time when PR was all publicity and then the story of PR turning into an integrative effort. It’s pretty clear PR is an ever shifting definition. Where do you see PR just a few years from now? Will social media be at the helm? Will we return to more publicity stunts instead of strategy?

Donna: In a few years time it won’t matter what department ‘content’ is coming from, as long as brands have plenty of it and a plan to share it with the world. PR will still have its place – otherwise I’m out of a blog – but it won’t be execs selling in pretty press releases to journalists who don’t want to know. It’ll be organisations with shared values teaming up to create a bigger story that shifts people’s perceptions, attitudes and actions. A bigger splash in the pool.

Having said that, although people are becoming tired of stunts (‘Oh, is that a pair of Paddy Power pants in the air advertising betting on the Grand National? Yawn’), they’re still changing the algorithm of the industry by evoking some sort of  emotion. But, once you’ve got everyone’s attention you have to cultivate that interest someway – and long-term strategies are key.

With regards to social, despite networks offering advertising, these platforms work best when used by agencies for organic quick wins: launching hashtags, sharing stories and getting involved in bigger conversations. There’s still a sense of achievement of stumbling upon a neat tweet and sharing it amongst your friends / peers.

Q: How can brands get a grip on social media? Can you use a brand and one platform as an example?

Donna: It’s important for brands to understand that not every social media platform is relevant for them. I’d much prefer to see a brand I love showing off great social skills on one channel, rather than a few poorly.

What’s really made me smile in the last few months is the idea of ‘insane honesty’.

Take US diner chain Arby’s for example. When it accidentally forgot to feature Pepsi in one of its adverts, it quickly released an additional video apologising for its mistake. It doesn’t take itself too seriously and makes the most of the opportunity to great effect. The proof in the pudding – it scored more than 1.5m YouTube views in a week.

Q: What’s a brand you’re in love with? Why?

Donna: I love to hate Lego. I can’t remember exactly how the love-hate relationship began. It probably started blocking up my news feeds with smarmy stunts. But, my personal feelings (jealously mostly) aside, I have to salute its communications team. It’s developed a rhythm for reactive PR and is fab at seeking out opportunities. Why? It’s secure enough in its brand to have some fun with it. Yes, the Lego bricks will always have to have certain dimensions, colours and perceptions. But, the boss doesn’t have a cow when these things are ever-so-slightly manipulated It understands that UGC is a pleasure worth any pain.

For want of a cliché it operates firmly outside the Lego house.

How many brands are confident enough to turn a complaint from a seven-year old girl into a compliment – by releasing a range of inspirational female figures? It’s probably the same as the number of brands which can create a BAFTA-winning self-titled movie.

Q: What advice would you give to someone wanting to be a PR pro?

Donna: Don’t forget to PR yourself. Find your niche. and own it. Whether it’s social media tips, a great relationship with a national journalist or in-depth knowledge of a specialist sector, position yourself as the go-to person and share your accomplishments when it all falls into place – for the clients or your business.

Q: Do you have a few life lessons you learned from your work in PR?

Donna: Don’t be intimidated by your position:

Have an idea or want to critique your client’s strategy but you’re just a junior in the company? It doesn’t matter. Ok, don’t shout it out during a crucial pitch, but find someone in the agency who you trust and be open with them. It’ll not only show you’re engaged and invested in the project, but will boost your profile. Even if nothing comes of it, I believe a CEO and a junior should be able to have a productive conversation. After all, we’re just PRs.

There’s been times when I’ve had that gut feeling to speak up and either missed the opportunity to speak up or didn’t communicate my point clearly. I remember in the first few weeks of my first PR job, I was involved in a government health campaign pitch prep workshop and the idea the seniors were leaning towards didn’t feel right. I broke up the conversation which took place around a large conference table, commented and it was dismissed because ‘what did I know?’ We lost the pitch but it didn’t matter to me. I’d stayed true to myself.

I wished I’d remembered that money when – fast forward a few years at a new agency – I’d made a fool of myself selling in a non story (roast dinners rarely make the news) at the request of my boss who hadn’t completed a sale in years. I knew it wasn’t a productive use of my time and the angle wasn’t working but didn’t speak up. So I not only damaged some journalist relationships by sounds like a plonker on the phone but also found it hard to justify my results.

Invited to a meeting but not sure why? 

Talk to your boss and ask them what you can present, share or ask in the meeting. If you can’t do things, explain you’ll be taking notes. You want people to know you’re not just there for the tea and biscuits.

It’s PR, not ER:

As far as I know, no one’s ever died from an incorrect press release or missed coverage opportunity. Take your job seriously, of course, but don’t take it home with you.

Q: What are some habits you have that keep you ahead of the marketing game? 

Donna: I follow the trail to see the bigger picture. If I spot a unique campaign on one of the 20 national, industry or blog sites that I read most days, I’ll research what people are saying about it and do some digging as to whether the agency has simply recycled an idea or has pushed the boundaries. It takes time but it makes my blog arguments stronger.

Q: Would you tell us a story of when a risk you took ended up becoming a success of yours?

Donna: Last year I left a permanent agency role for an in-house temporary contract at a national charity. It meant stepping down from a management role but I believed in the charity’s vision.

I went in there with nothing to lose but one goal: do the job (slightly) better than my predecessor.

I used my agency experience to create strategy documents and PR plans they’d not seen in a while and, when the chance came up to squeeze a digital internship into my day job I took it. It showed I was passionate and helpful, at the cost of a few early mornings and late nights.

But, that was my stepping stone to make it into digital. Now, I have two core skills under my belt. No looking back.

Q: If you had unlimited resources and time what would you do?

Donna: I’d work for myself and start my own consultancy: Prime Time.

It would (no, it will) offer clients an integrated service – PR, marketing, digital etc. But, to add jam to our bread and butter, we’ll have freelance PRs and copywriters to hire out and a recruitment division to ensure we’re introducing an outstanding range of diverse individuals to the fold.

Being a mixed race woman in any sector isn’t easy. I always want to champion diversity, equality and rising stars.

Q: Where can people find you and your passion, your work, your art?

Donna: You can catch up on the latest Prime Time (PR In My Eyes) news and views on www.primetimepr.co.uk.

Alternatively, follow my industry, soap opera and fitness ramblings on Twitter (@dmhwhite), Pinterest (@dmhwhite) and Instagram (@dmh_white).

 

Stay Positive & You Heard It Here

Also at PrimeTime, you view my guest post on Facebook’s hidden feature that (most) brands are missing out on.

How Do Will Do

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There’s something special to the people with “will do!” attitudes. They’re often the ones to lead, to take on more than they can handle, and the ones to have long “to-do” lists (and an equally long “done” list). These narcissists state they will do something: they will fix it, they will improve it, they will increase sales, profits, referrals.

Yes, these types of people have a stigma, many being given the title of Millennial.

I care to dissipate the stigma. There is one short way to removing this societal blemish, and it’s to change the way you think.

Instead of “will do!” attitudes, revert back to the “can I do?” attitudes.

To ask is to observe, to analysis, and to consider all possibilities. “Can I do?” attitudes are open-minded. Asking if you can accomplish something allows you to explore, whereas stating that you will do something and then just doing it prevents experimentation and above all, feedback.

Once it is done, you can check it off. But those who have “can I do?” attitudes ask themselves if they can do better once they accomplish what they set off to do.

The beauty of it all is that you can carry over the motivation, the determination, and the tenacity that “will do!” attitudes have into the “can I do?” attitude.

Just start asking yourself if you can complete something instead of stating you will.

 

Stay Positive & A Little Self Actually Helps

Garth E. Beyer

Photo credit

The Formula For Living A Balanced Life

I’ve noticed something recently that is truly hurtful to know.

Most people on this planet spend more time struggling for one thing or another, fighting their battles, drowning in their setbacks than they spend celebrating their triumphs.

It seems like such a simple formula to live a balanced life. The amount you are challenged must be equal to the amount you take enjoyment out of your accomplishments. We fall into this routine of constantly wrangling (trying to reach our goals) that that is what we become good at. People hustle to tussle instead of racing to the beat of their own drum.

Here’s another thought for you. Have you noticed that the most profound things, the most profound realizations in life have been the most simple? Living a balanced life is much like one of them. Simple? Yes. Easy? well that’s a constant struggle. Which is all the more reason to also celebrate a little bit each day.

 

Stay Positive & It’s Okay To Lean More In One Direction (as long as it’s the party side)

Garth E. Beyer

Outdo Yourself

New years is about goal setting.

Sure. Go for it. I love goals.

But here’s a twist for you this year.

Write out all the accomplishments of the year that you are proud of. Only write down what you would honestly consider a real accomplishment.

Now you have something to beat for next year. Now when you get the ol’ “who’s counting?” you can respond, “I am.”

 

Stay Positive & Compete With The Best

Garth E. Beyer

Unlocking Potential: Interview #3

I was thinking about motivation (what’s new…). I thought about how much I love to motivate people, I mean, I live for it, I give motivational speeches and obviously I write a lot of motivational content. The question popped in my mind, what motivated me to motivate people?

I came up with two answers. The first is that seeing people like Zig Ziglar, Seth Godin, or my interviewee today Karthik, motivate other people. If there weren’t people motivating other people, nothing would get done in the world, it would be void of accomplishments that matter. The second answer is that I am freaking amazed at us, at people, at human beings. Our abilities are out of this world, literally. I simply want to bring out more of these godlike abilities in people, I want to continue to be amazed at a higher level which means I need to motivate more.

This is an aspect of the Unlocking Potential series. To motivate these artists and to have these artists be motivated to motivate other artists. If you are just jumping in, you can catch Interview #1 here and Interview #2 here.

Without further do,
Interview: Karthik Puvvada

As you know from my “Pick Yourself” post, I attended Seth Godin’s Pick Yourself event in New York a couple of months ago. This interview, the third in my Unlocking Potential series, is with Karthik Puvvada, a friend who I met as a member of Seth’s tribe. Karthik’s blog is one I visit often for, not so much for information on how to fail, be free and break the status-quo (although it’s loaded with it), but for a reminder that there are other people like me that have a truly unbelievable spirit for progress, an unstoppable force for enjoying life and making the most out of it in every way possible. This is only touched on in Karthik’s introduction to the interview and provides great insight to the rest of the Q&A. -Enter Karthik-

My story:

I’m Karthik Puvvada and I hail from India. And like most Indians, I was brought up in a very conservative and struggling middle class family nudging and budging my childhood dreams with whatever little money we had.  Since I was born into the era of  “Great Indian Outsourcing Boom”,  I was compelled to chose the well established path of becoming an engineer and to work at a software company that I disliked.

I was clearly unhappy with what I was doing with my life.  Modifying bits and pieces of computer software written by some other engineers didn’t seem appealing to me. Especially when I loved building things. Especially when I believed I should be able to create things.

As a kid I dreamt about robotics,  and that suddenly appeared to me as my next destination. Despite heavy peer pressure and uncertainty of how I’d manage the finances to afford such a costly technological degree, I gave all the entrance tests with full vigor and hope.

After a dramatic turn of events, and with help of some amazing people, here I am, in the USA,  doing Masters majoring in Robotics with full scholarship.  I started believing in dreams even more from then.

This phenomenal dream-come-true incident in my life changed my perspective totally. It gave me enormous CONFIDENCE to go get what I want in life. I started reviving my half-killed dreams from childhood.

Writing is one.

Q: What would you die without?

Fire in the belly.  If there’s going to be a day when I feel sapless about my dreams, and give up on them, that day, you can proclaim me dead. Officially. I don’t see any reason to be called alive when I’ve killed my dreams. I am what my dreams are. The rest is just a piece of flesh.

Writing, film-making, advertising, technology startups, for now I’m in love with these. So badly that I can exchange going to heaven for a chance to live my dreams.  This feeling, the feeling of otaku, the feeling of going any far to follow your passions in life is what I call “fire in the belly” and that is something I can’t afford to live without.

Q: How much time does following your passion consume each day? What is a typical day in your life’s conquest?

It’s an interesting question because the time it actually consumes to me is irrelevant.  I rather count it based on whether I had done the task I intended to do for that day or not.

Consider blogging. Sometimes it takes 20 minutes to write a blogpost, and sometimes 3 full hours. The beauty of imagination is it’s without limits. All kinds of limits, including time.

But, yeah, if I look back and estimate an average number, I think I spend around 2hrs per day on writing. The rest of time I spend on my other passions.  And on sleeping.  And on eating. And wait, on bathing too.

Q: How do you go about searching and finding motivation/inspiration?

Two things. One, I go outwards into the huge sea of knowledge online and offline and try to find stuff that stimulates my thinking. Something that pushes me away from my comfort zone. Something that provokes my mind, into action.

Steve Jobs, Seth Godin, Malcolm Gladwell, Mahatma Gandhi, Ayn Rand, Friedrich Neithzche, Swami Vivekananda,  Gautam Buddha, Pablo Picasso, Vincent Van Gogh, Randy Pausch ,Jon Goethe, Rabindranath Tagore,  Aristotle,  Michelangelo, David Ogilvy etc.

I read a lot about these incredible people. And their incredible faith in themselves that they can change the world.

Second, I go inwards into myself finding resonance for all that I read. There is a deeper level of consciousness in your own self that you can actually unleash if you poke it long enough.

It unravels an incredible urge that was within you all these years to do something in this world. To make your presence felt. To shake the world gently. Not for the heck of fame or money,  but to leave a legacy in the world, to leave a story of yours, to write your own destiny. This motivates me frantically. Sometimes, the motivation stays for weeks and drives me nuts to do something I thought I couldn’t do earlier.  I will elaborate on this in the further discussion.

Q: What two habits have you developed that produce the best results?

Over the past 2 ½ months, the greatest habit I have developed is the habit to develop a habit.  Like I wrote here, it was extremely painful for me to write everyday initially.

Most amateur writers would know that, after a few days, the challenge of writing something original is by itself a challenge and to do it every single day makes it even more of a nightmare. But still I didn’t give up. There were days where I sat with my laptop for hours and yet couldn’t produce an interesting write-up. But still I didn’t give up.  I tried just once more. That made the difference I think.

I once wrote, “The greatest thing about doing the greatest thing is actually doing it.”

So I knew there is no red button.

Though it didn’t look appealing to me initially, I realize how accurate Steve Pavlina was. He speaks about creating a habit, like a ritual everyday and doing it for 30days. Non stop. If you can pass this phase, most likely you are already enjoying what you are doing and you’ll want to continue. Makes total sense to me.

So, the two habits I’ve developed are a) develop a habit and b) develop a habit. Damn, that is the single most important thing.

Q: Do you plan on shipping a tangible product? Any ideas?

Yes. First, I want to finish up a new screenplay that I started last week. It’s a sci-fi mystery about a delusional scientist on a marooned island.

Second, I want to film an already existing script that I have. It’s going to be about fortune cookies in 3 different countries.

Third, I want to write an ebook, with illustrations, on my most favorite theme, “failing”. I love failing. I think that’s the best thing that happens to me everyday so that I wake up with a better game plan.

Fourth, I want to start up a new project on advertising this September online.

Q: How do you conquer the troubles that come with trying to write every day? (Time, Writers block, etc)

Simple. Have an iron will. I earlier had a plastic one I guess. It would always give up on my dreams. But this time around, I took the pains to form an iron will. The will to do it at any cost. Anyhow. Anywhere.

I remember writing a blog post borrowing a friend’s laptop after having a tiring day of paintball shooting.  I wrote one in a vacation in Chattanooga. I wrote one while I was sick with a stomach bug. When I’m in my regular daily routine, taking time out for writing is easy because I would have planned the day accordingly. It was quite a challenge to do the same when I’m out on the roads travelling or camping etc. Still, the iron will to do what I wanted to do cleared the way for me.

I don’t do it for the count, I don’t do it for the world. I do it ‘coz I challenged the most important person in my life, Myself.

Writing block, well, here’s where the travelling inwards theory I spoke above helps me. Swami Vivekananda spoke volumes about the power of the mind. He says, the question is in the mind, and if you look deeply, and probe keenly, the answer too is in the same mind, just a few blocks away.

It was a fantastic eye-opener for me. All my frustration, disgust and restlessness vanish into thin air whenever I recall this, and I head straight into a peaceful self-questioning mode. And voila, it has worked magic so far.

Q: If you had to give one piece of advice what would it be?

“It’s not the deed; it’s the “doing” that you should attach yourself to.”

I wrote a post titled “Do you love the doing?”. I’d say it is by far the hardest advice anyone can ever follow. But ironically, it is the surest way to excellence according to me.

Q: I believe mottos are vitally important for motivation. Would you create a new motto right now for the readers, a motto they have likely never heard before?

Speaking about how important risk-taking in life, atleast once in a while is, I wrote, “Trust your guts, and remember it’s all about the journey, not the destination. No one jumps of a cliff to experience landing, but to experience flying.”  

The favorite ones I wrote are:

“When your ideas, energy and focus are united by one, you become divided by zero, Mathematically they call it, THE INFINITE!  Be that!”

“Be the king. But first, fight the war.”

Q: As you know, I am on a constant verge to learn new life lessons and share them with people. Do you have any crucially important life lessons you would like to share?

I only have one lesson in my life. The lesson of hope. The lesson of dreams.

Einstein once famously said, “There are two ways to live: you can live as if nothing is a miracle; or you can live as if everything is a miracle.” For me, everything has begun to appear miraculous once I started following my dreams. Once I opened my eyes and shunned my doubts. We want the perfect world. The perfect skills. The perfect people.

And hence we are eternally pissed off at what’s at hand. If you think about it, an email from a teenage artist in Europe telling you how much he loved your writing is a miracle. A subscriber asking you if you majored in English literature is a miracle. A counselor of anti-bullying campaign loving your blog you wrote from miles away is a miracle. What more you want?

Life opens up to the fullest when you are ready to see it positively.

I once wrote, the moon is the moon always, it depends on who you are to perceive it beautifully or full of scars.

Look at life differently. Be the most energetic person you have ever met. Surround yourself with tons of positivity. Make new friendships. With extremely positive people. Have the brightest glimmer of hope in your eye. Feel thrilled about little things. May be you’ll look delusional to your naysayers. But try new things. Fail at them. Fail often. Fail publicly. Have an extra coating to your chest called courage. Coz it takes just one time to get it right, and remember, you will never be the same person again.

Q: Where can people find you and your art?

I write my heart out at www.bethepurplecow.tumblr.com.

__________________________________________________________________________________

Stay Positive & Purple

Garth E. Beyer                                                                                       “moo”

 

 

 

Unlocking Potential: Interview #1

I get a lot of people telling me that I inspire them, that they like the way I think and the status-quo-breaking ideas I come up with and test. I admire that. It’s important to note that the motivation I get to inspire other people comes from being inspired myself, from seeing extraordinary potential in people who lose themselves in creativity and from the challenge I give myself to help these artists as much as possible.

With this now in mind, I will be showcasing a small handful of interviews over the next few weeks. These people are artists that I have kept very little touch with, in fact, I may not have talked to them in years until I messaged them recently inquiring if they would participate in an interview. These are noteworthy people, people whom I noticed there to be potential that I would hope to be cracked open all the way. So with that, I am handing you the hammer, the ability to connect, learn from, enjoy, and inspire these people.

Interview: Rose Kendall

The first person who’s interview I will be sharing is Rose Kendall. I met Rose in a Poetry 101 class over two years ago, never really talked in class other than when there were class discussions, and I still remember the passion she poured into her poetry. It’s easy to standout in class by dressing uniquely, being pretty and always participating. It’s not however, easy to standout in poetry. Rose does this and I hope you enjoy the following interview. Feel free to leave a note in the comments section or add Rose on Facebook.

Q: Now, I know your passion is writing. What type of writing do you love most and why?

My favorite type of writing is poetry. I love all types of writing, but poetry speaks the most to me because on one level it is trying to compact so many different emotions and thoughts into one small space, but on another level it can bring so many different ideas and concepts to the table in the subtle meanings of line breaks and punctuation. While I do believe that fiction also has a tendency to be descriptive, poetry is tantalizing because to me personally it propels the imagination like a movie, with the possibility of going in so many different directions.

Q: What gets you through the hard times of writing (depleted inspiration, writers block, time, emotion, etc)?

Listening to good music (I usually pick Sia, Damien Rice, Stateless, Florence + the Machine, and David Gray), closing my eyes, and thinking about what exactly the message is that I want to give off. Then I can usually come up with images that accompany that message. Most times it’s a good start.

Q: If you had to make your own writing prompt, what would it be?

It would be to take a piece of paper, fold it in half, and write on one side a list of nouns that are very common (like clouds, or sun) and on the other side list five adjectives you would never think to use to describe the noun. You will be challenged in so many ways you never thought were possible

Q: What do you want your legacy to be?

I want to be able to share with the world the sadness and anger I feel at the horrifying things that are occurring on a daily basis all over the world. As a society, I feel there are so many topics we are afraid to talk about for various reasons, so we sweep them under the rug (whether conscientiously or not) and choose to avoid them. Yes, they are hard topics, but if we are not made aware of them we will not be able to appropriate the change needed to stop these crimes from happening.

Therefore, I hope to shock my audience enough that they can’t decide if they want to get out of their chair and leave when I’m reading to them, or if they want to stay and consider what is really happening in the world. I would love to be able to travel around the globe and present to large audience my heart and my passion. I also want to continue to become published, and maybe one day be able to publish a whole book of poems.

Q: What determines a successful writing day?

A successful writing day usually is accompanied by a thought or an idea taking form into a poem, but very successful if a whole poem (or more than one) is written.

Q: Take me through a though process of a poem. Do you plan it out? Relate it to your life? Free write?

When I’m writing a poem I generally pick a topic I feel strongly about and concentrate on how I feel as well as why I feel that way. Once I come up with that, generally I will “see” what I want to write in my head. It’s like a movie, and at the risk of sounding like a schizophrenic, I have seen several of my characters chatting with me at the edge of the bed. Maybe less chatting and more just standing there and telepathically telling me their story. Either way once their story is being told it kind of just flows out. Some stories are harder than others, but most times I listen to a lot of calming or inspiring music to try to urge them to tell me. Sometimes when that doesn’t work, lines of poems come to me when I’m trying my hardest to sleep.

Q: What is the most helpful advice you have been given?

Keep a journal of all of the compliments and accomplishments I have made in writing. When I feel like I’m not a good enough writer, or I’m having a dry spell, I read them to remind myself how much I have accomplished. Also, keeping old poetry no matter how bad it is shows to me how far I have come.

Q: What advice would you give to other writers?

Do not worry about what one person thinks about your poetry. There will always be that one person (or a group of people) who are offended by what you write or think it’s no good. Keep working on your goals, and you can accomplish anything. Do not be afraid to have other people give you constructive criticism, it can make you grow in ways you never imagined.

Q: Would you care to share a poem?

After tonight
she’ll never ever again
have to wonder
what it feels like
to try to jump over a barbed wire fence,
catch her foot,
and slam her throat
into the wire
–it’s like climbing to the top
tippy top
of a tree,
* snap *
that first breath
you suck in after collapsing
back first, lungs turning black—
only his weapons are his words
and last night he decided
to see how many it took
before they wrapped around her neck
like his thumbs
squeezing
tightening
thrusting
until she’s one breath away
from dying.

and then he lets go.

She sees herself in the reflection
of the spit he sprays across
her face
the growl that echoes deep in the caves
of his lungs
and she remembers
how beautiful she once was
before the cancer
of the vacuum of his world
started eating away at her face
formed valleys and canyons
that were never there in her youth
even though she’s only 29.

when i first met her
she was perched on
the windowsill of my breaking heart
trying to kick her way
into the bullet-proof glass
surrounding my hope
and complicated things
like how I felt seeing
her teeth sprawled
across the living room floor
after last night’s fight
came too close
to leaving too much proof
so she lies
tells her friends that the dog
pulled her up the stairs and she tripped
(which dog she does not clarify).

but i can feel her,
see her floating nightgown
near the ocean on the edge of my bed
tangerine sunrises
screaming “helpme”
because even though
he’s a vacuum
trying to rid her of herself
of the filth she carries around
in the form of personality
she’s stronger than the marble
statue he wants to turn her into
and her beauty
is a cool breeze in the desert

he does not know how
to appreciate her love.

they always taught him
“be stronger than your fist”
but his fists are like concrete
and his words are like
espestice
eating away
at her lungs
liquid drowning her
under the tide he confuses
with affection.

so i pull her into my bed
twist her hair around my fingers
and show her
what a field of roses
feels like when it’s growing
just beneath your breastbone
and she’s blooming

i know i imagine
what her love would look like
as a photo on my mantle
–my prized wife
because she’s too beautiful
to be a trophy
she deserves to shine
like the sun.

so after tonight
i’m going to take her hand
twist out the fear
gently
and carry her
to the palace
she deserves.

and if he shows up
at my door
looking for her
i’ll blow his fucking head off.

________________________________________________________________________________________

Stay Positive & Poetic In Your Own Way

Garth E. Beyer