Author: Garth Beyer

Missing Your Shot

Garth Beyer

There’s two variations.

The first is when you take the shot and you miss it.

The second is when you miss your chance to take the shot.

It seems that the world gives us a sin wave of a life with the first variation above the line and second, below. We smoothly transition from taking a shot and missing it to passing up the next shot we can take.

It’s painful to get rejected, turned down, thrown back, kicked around, or left behind. The feeling is terrible and as a result, we think we’re better off not taking the shot at all. But, let’s make this realization together. Knowing that you missed your chance to take the shot feels a thousand times worse than taking it and missing.

Maybe you don’t feel that way at first, another one bites the dust right? And plus, it’s easy to say that more opportunities will come your way, not taking your shot on this one is fine. The thing is … your reactions to each type of “missed shot” accumulates.

The more times you take a shot but miss, the more likely you’ll be to make it next time you take a shot. Eventually reaching success.

On the other hand, the more times you miss taking the shot, well, that’s it, that’s a lot of shots missed. You’re no closer to success. You haven’t learned anything. You lost. Lizard brain 1, you 0.

I’ll challenge you to keep track of all those shots you don’t take. When fear sits next to you, tells you to wait, tells you to be patient, or tells you that now just isn’t the right time, record it.

1 for the lizard brain 0 for you.

No matter your type of personality, no matter the situation, no matter your goals in life; when anyone sees that the lizard brain is up 5 to 0, that provides all the motivation to take the shot with the next opportunity. Sure, it’s a way to cheat the system, but, hey, it works. Trust me.

 

Stay Positive & Keeping Track Of Shots On Goal Can Make You Feel Pretty Good Too

Garth E. Beyer

Why The Apologies?

Garth Beyer

It’s a problem of people’s.

There are only a handful of predicaments that will ignite an immediate response (positive or assertive) from me: if you’re complaining, if you’re being thankful, if you’re telling me about challenging the norms, and most regularly, if you’re apologizing.

Given the theme of my usual writing, you may assume that I am referring to apologies made by writers for not shipping their art, or someone apologizing for sending an email that is kind of like spam, or, the worst, just starting anything with an apology. In these cases, if you’re going to apologize, just don’t do whatever you’re going to apologize for. It just leaves a vituperative taste to your message.

Instead, filter your message, specify your audience, narrow your goal or your audience, do whatever it takes to not feel the need to initiate your message with an apology. Messages that start or even contain an apology (unless your Apple, apologizing for their version of maps), will rarely be efficacious. In most cases, if you can’t find a way to eliminate the apology, not doing anything is the best alternative.

But as I said, that’s not what I’m really referring to. The apologies that truly need to stop are the general ones, the off-brand apologies, the ones which lack insincerity. Have you heard these before or any similar to?

“I’m sorry, I’m just too busy.”

“It’s just not going to work, I’m sorry.”

“I’ve got to focus on myself, I’m sorry.”

Okay, maybe some of the apologies do have sincerity, but there is still no reason to apologize for, what the hipsters these days would call “doing you.” Our society has this preconception that we must apologize for doing things for ourselves, that if a decision we make that benefits us but clashes with someone else’s plans, we have to apologize.

I’m writing to tell you that you don’t.

 

Stay Positive & Please Yourself (There’s No Way You Can Please Everybody Else)

Garth E. Beyer

p.s. And this is why you don’t have to > My favorite concept and reason to quit saying sorry. It can be applied to anything, not just articles.

Biting Off More Than You Can Chew

Garth Beyer

The adage goes: don’t bite off more than you can chew.

I’m not going to argue that. In fact, it’s literally impossible to bite off more than you can chew.

I’ve hacked this adage though.

The other day my mother said I was crazy. (Not surprising. I get it often, actually.) Then she said, “I’ve never heard of anyone intentionally trying to bite off more than they can chew.”

That’s me, Bigmouth. Not really though, I’m fairly humble. But she is right, it is intentional. I’m working a 40+ hour job, going to school with 15 credits at UW Madison, doing some freelance work, working my magic as VP of Public Relations for Toastmasters, also working my magic as VP of Chapter Relations for the PRSSA Conference Committee, finding time to workout at least 3 days a week, giving speeches, going out on the weekends, and still getting around 6-8 hours of sleep each night.

That’s all fun, but not yet crazy (by my standards). What I mentioned above is a packed schedule. What warrants the title of “crazy” is that, although I know that my schedule is packed, I’m still adding more. I’ve applied to be a Transfer Ambassador beginning in a couple of months, I’ve made the committment to write a blog post every day and freewrite for 15 minutes (nonstop) 5 days a week. I’m offering my hand, my arm, my legs, my back, left and right to friends and those who ask for help; I don’t remember the last opportunity that I had passed up.

Hacking the adage: I started by taking a bite that filled my mouth but still allowed me to chew, if only just a tiny bit. The moment after I started to chew, I took another bite, chewed, took another bite, chewed… and so on. I’ve intentionally committed to too much in small intervals. I based my actions on the idea of adaptation.

To keep with the analogy, after each bite, my cheeks are stretching, my jaw muscles are loosening up more, and I’m able to take another little bite. It’s not about biting off more than you can chew, it’s about biting off as much as you can chew, then biting off a bit more again and again.

It’s truly amazing how much we are all capable of doing. It’s truly amazing that we all have 24 hours in a day, but some of us (you? … now you?) can do so much in the same amount of time that others do so little. I’m not hating on those who don’t do much, I straightforwardly believe they just never try to bite off more than they can chew, so they never adapt, never grow, and are never amazed with themselves.

I haven’t crashed yet. I’ll let you know if I do.

 

Stay Positive & Do As Much As You Can, Then Do A Little More

Garth E. Beyer

 

To Succeed

Garth Beyer

you have to take on the pain of it.

That means mistakes. That means stumbling, falling, and bruising. That means burning a couple of bridges and sometimes some of the ones that you spent time building.

 

Stay Positive & Emphasis: You Have To Take On The Pain

Garth E. Beyer

Addicted, But Far From Anonymous

Garth Beyer

You’re an alcoholic. Wonderful!

You’re addicted to sugar. That’s great!

You can’t control the amount of food you eat. Not a problem!

You’re obsessed with exercise. That’s cool!

We all have our dependencies, our addictions. Every single one of us.

My top three addictions are writing, confrontation (challenging everything and taking on challenges), and attempting to have as much wit as Oscar Wilde. These addictions are like badges of pride that I wear everywhere I go. At first I thought how interesting it was that one or all three addictions would be entwined with any conversation or any story I would tell people. Then I realized that these addictions are my story.

Being obsessed. Having addictions. Being dependent. All are powerful traits – and I mean that in a good sense!

The problem with being wedded to certain influences is when you wear the problem like a badge; when being an alcoholic becomes your story; when you tell everyone how attached you are to eating junk food, day in and day out; when you start using your addiction to drugs as an excuse for the life you’ve lived.

I had a friend who suffered a serious back injury. I was one of the first people who heard the story of how it happened. It was pretty silly. Weeks went by and I heard my friend tell the story over and over to everyone he talked to. In fact, by the 6th or 7th time, it seemed like it was scripted. My friend had the story down pat. It was as if my friend was ready to tell it for the next couple months. My friend was addicted to telling the story and dependent on the responses and type of attention that was received. How can my friend expect to recover when the injury is the story, and the story, my friends life?

The same goes for the alcoholic who is fine with telling everyone that they are. Who is fine with accepting that the reasons they treated people poorly and had a shitty life was because they were an alcoholic. They go to AA, to be grouped with other people who think they are special because they have an addiction. Am I against people getting together to overcome something like alcoholism? No. Am I against the idea that in going there that they have a signficant problem, an addiction that influences their thoughts and actions – and they believe they are special cases? Yes, there’s a big problem.

Every one of our addictions, whether it be alcohol, sugar, writing, singing, debating, planting, breaking things, or running; they all put us under an influence. Each addiction acts as a filter on our mind, sometimes filtering out good motives and considerations, sometimes filtering out the bad.

I was on an Improv team for a few years. Our troupe was called Improv Anonymous. We often opened the show up by getting in a circle, telling our names, and talking about our addiction to Improv. When we weren’t doing our show, we still did Improv: in class, at a friend’s house, in Culver’s. That Improv badge we wore with pride, what we were addicted to, altered every part of our lives.

I’ll say it again: Being addicted to something isn’t bad, whether it’s drugs or playing basketball. Being comfortable with announcing your addiction, wearing it like a badge of honor, and letting it become your story; that’s when we run into problems. There’s a reason why it’s alcoholics anonymous.

“The world is just; it may, it does, patronize quacks; but it never puts them on a level with true men.” – Amelia Barr

 

Stay Positive & Just A Heads-Up: It’s Easier To Change Addictions Than To Stop Them

Garth E. Beyer

Well, That’s Interesting!

Garth Beyer

After a truly phenomenal speech, I asked UW Madison’s Dean of Students, Lori Berquam, how she got so great and comfortable with public speaking.

“It wasn’t until I realized I had something worth saying,” she replied.

She mentioned that she didn’t enjoy public speaking for the longest time because she didn’t have anything interesting to say – or at least she didn’t think it was interesting. We shared a laugh together at the idea of how simple it is to be good at anything, not just public speaking.

Be interesting.

You’ll never truly be good at anything until you learn to be interesting at it.

 

Stay Positive & Often Times, Being Interesting Begins With Being Interested

Garth E. Beyer