Life Lesson

Using The Force And Letting The Force Use You

Garth Beyer

You need to force yourself to find something your passionate about, choose not to have a choice, and move forward.

In doing so, you’ll quickly find that the force you used to become passionate about something is then relayed back to you in the form of focus, more passion, understanding, and growth. In other words, the force uses you.

The force is a cycle which is continuous … so long as you add to it.

I’ve forced myself to be passionate about all forms of communication, specifically in the fields of media, journalism, and PR. (It’s been so long, and I believe that I’ve brainwashed myself, but I’m sure there was a point when I really didn’t know what I wanted to do, what I wanted to major in, or where I wanted to be in 20 years. But, by using the force, I’ve come to find my niche.) In doing so, in brainwashing myself, in using the force, I’ve become fascinated with absolutely anything related to communication. Find a way to turn me off, I dare you. Anyway…

This has benefited me immensely and never crippled me in any way. Using the force is like putting on a special pair of glasses. Now, all that you see is filtered through the force. I relate everything; whether it is history, art, politics, finances, or whatever, to communication. I’ve found a way to enjoy anything and everything because I view it in relation to communications. By forcing yourself to have appreciate and a passion for one field, it allows you to be passionate about anything in regards to it when it comes your way.

If it doesn’t make sense to you yet, let’s apply it to the workplace.

We have our jobs that we may or may not love to do (note to self: if not, go get it). In our jobs, there are dozens of tasks each month or each week that we don’t really enjoy doing. But, you will easily find, so long as you are forcing your passion for all areas of your job (the good and the bad) doing those tasks which normally you wouldn’t like to do can become enjoyable. In fact, once you force yourself, you’ll find that it will require less and less force as time goes on.

It’s not about biting the bullet, it’s about being able to enjoy its flavor.

Which sometimes requires force.

 

Stay Positive & I Have To Say It: May The Force Be With You

Garth E. Beyer

Subscription

Garth Beyer

I’ve made the decision to close off my blog to subscriptions. In particular, email/RSS feed subscription and for two particular reasons.

Yes, a blogger absolutely benefits from having subscribers. That’s all good and great, but by subscribing, you – the subscriber – benefit less. What?!

I used to be subscribed to about a dozen blogs and I would get updates on them every few days. After only a couple of months, I found myself deleting the emails; some without opening to see what the newest posts were about. The reason for this leads to the first reason why I closed off subscription to my blog.

I quit needing their particular form of motivation. I stopped needing their information, their persuasion, their enthrallment. In other words, while I never stopped loving their blogs, I found myself reading them for the sake of just reading them and not for the sake of them helping me or bringing me to make some action.

I don’t want you (my readers) to enter this lull or habit. In a sense, it can even be self-defeating; one is more interested in learning how to improve their life than they are in improving it. If it’s between you taking a risk to do something in your life and reading my post for the day, well, you know which one I would pick.

The second reason for ending subscriptions I only realized a couple of weeks ago after someone said, “I’ve been on your website. I don’t read everything you write, but I hop on their every now and then.” I went on to tell them that they shouldn’t feel guilty for not reading every day, I don’t write so the same person can read every single post. I have this idea that I am simply here when you need me. I’m not going to force you to show up by making you feel guilty or reminding you to read my content through subscriptions. If you don’t show, I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt and say that it’s probably best you didn’t.

If you want to read what I have written, then you can type www.garthbox.com in your web bar or add me to your favorites bar. I’m looking for connections, not subscriptions.

 

Stay Positive & Let’s Connect (@)

Garth E. Beyer

Are You Up For It? (A Bit About The Lizard Brain)

Garth Beyer

When you consider taking a risk, taking an action for something you want, you have twenty seconds to act before the lizard brain fires up. Once the lizard brain realizes you’re about to take a risk, it will make you think of every reason not to take it, not to do what you want.

If you don’t know already, it’s referred to as the twenty second theory: you have twenty seconds to act on your thought before the lizard brain kicks in. After the twenty seconds, it only gets more and more difficult to make the leap, to take the risk.

I’ve recently wondered if it’s better to – after the twenty seconds and the lizard brain is going – to just completely forget about the action you want to take. Why fight the lizard brain? There will be more opportunities, right? Or is it better to fight the lizard brain and see if you can beat it. From experience, I would say that you will win 1 out of 10 battles against the lizard brain. But is the stress of having to go through the other 9 battles worth it?

By not fighting the lizard brain, you feel a sense of relief. There’s no stress, no nervousness, no adrenaline rush, no anxiety, and most importantly, no regret that you considered something so deeply but never followed through.

But what if you end up challenging and beating the lizard brain; wouldn’t the success of whatever you were risking be glorious and euphoric enough to counter any of the hardships you have had to face in the past?

What if I had a solution for you? I do. (HT Keegan Morgan)

After the twenty seconds are up and you don’t act, ask yourself this important question,

are you up for it? Up for the battle with the lizard brain, up to the risks, up to the possibility of still being rejected after following through? The lizard brain can’t infiltrate this thought process; the beauty of knowing exactly what you want (and making the conscious decision to go after it) will make the lizard brain back off. The lizard brain is strong, but it has nothing on will power.

The next time you miss your twenty second window, the next time you catch yourself getting anxious, thinking of dozens of reasons not to send the email, make the phone call, ask that someone for their number, or make that committment, ask yourself, are you up for it?

 

Stay Positive & It’s Alright If You’re Not! But… Keep Track

Garth E. Beyer

Missing Your Shot

Garth Beyer

There’s two variations.

The first is when you take the shot and you miss it.

The second is when you miss your chance to take the shot.

It seems that the world gives us a sin wave of a life with the first variation above the line and second, below. We smoothly transition from taking a shot and missing it to passing up the next shot we can take.

It’s painful to get rejected, turned down, thrown back, kicked around, or left behind. The feeling is terrible and as a result, we think we’re better off not taking the shot at all. But, let’s make this realization together. Knowing that you missed your chance to take the shot feels a thousand times worse than taking it and missing.

Maybe you don’t feel that way at first, another one bites the dust right? And plus, it’s easy to say that more opportunities will come your way, not taking your shot on this one is fine. The thing is … your reactions to each type of “missed shot” accumulates.

The more times you take a shot but miss, the more likely you’ll be to make it next time you take a shot. Eventually reaching success.

On the other hand, the more times you miss taking the shot, well, that’s it, that’s a lot of shots missed. You’re no closer to success. You haven’t learned anything. You lost. Lizard brain 1, you 0.

I’ll challenge you to keep track of all those shots you don’t take. When fear sits next to you, tells you to wait, tells you to be patient, or tells you that now just isn’t the right time, record it.

1 for the lizard brain 0 for you.

No matter your type of personality, no matter the situation, no matter your goals in life; when anyone sees that the lizard brain is up 5 to 0, that provides all the motivation to take the shot with the next opportunity. Sure, it’s a way to cheat the system, but, hey, it works. Trust me.

 

Stay Positive & Keeping Track Of Shots On Goal Can Make You Feel Pretty Good Too

Garth E. Beyer

Why The Apologies?

Garth Beyer

It’s a problem of people’s.

There are only a handful of predicaments that will ignite an immediate response (positive or assertive) from me: if you’re complaining, if you’re being thankful, if you’re telling me about challenging the norms, and most regularly, if you’re apologizing.

Given the theme of my usual writing, you may assume that I am referring to apologies made by writers for not shipping their art, or someone apologizing for sending an email that is kind of like spam, or, the worst, just starting anything with an apology. In these cases, if you’re going to apologize, just don’t do whatever you’re going to apologize for. It just leaves a vituperative taste to your message.

Instead, filter your message, specify your audience, narrow your goal or your audience, do whatever it takes to not feel the need to initiate your message with an apology. Messages that start or even contain an apology (unless your Apple, apologizing for their version of maps), will rarely be efficacious. In most cases, if you can’t find a way to eliminate the apology, not doing anything is the best alternative.

But as I said, that’s not what I’m really referring to. The apologies that truly need to stop are the general ones, the off-brand apologies, the ones which lack insincerity. Have you heard these before or any similar to?

“I’m sorry, I’m just too busy.”

“It’s just not going to work, I’m sorry.”

“I’ve got to focus on myself, I’m sorry.”

Okay, maybe some of the apologies do have sincerity, but there is still no reason to apologize for, what the hipsters these days would call “doing you.” Our society has this preconception that we must apologize for doing things for ourselves, that if a decision we make that benefits us but clashes with someone else’s plans, we have to apologize.

I’m writing to tell you that you don’t.

 

Stay Positive & Please Yourself (There’s No Way You Can Please Everybody Else)

Garth E. Beyer

p.s. And this is why you don’t have to > My favorite concept and reason to quit saying sorry. It can be applied to anything, not just articles.

Biting Off More Than You Can Chew

Garth Beyer

The adage goes: don’t bite off more than you can chew.

I’m not going to argue that. In fact, it’s literally impossible to bite off more than you can chew.

I’ve hacked this adage though.

The other day my mother said I was crazy. (Not surprising. I get it often, actually.) Then she said, “I’ve never heard of anyone intentionally trying to bite off more than they can chew.”

That’s me, Bigmouth. Not really though, I’m fairly humble. But she is right, it is intentional. I’m working a 40+ hour job, going to school with 15 credits at UW Madison, doing some freelance work, working my magic as VP of Public Relations for Toastmasters, also working my magic as VP of Chapter Relations for the PRSSA Conference Committee, finding time to workout at least 3 days a week, giving speeches, going out on the weekends, and still getting around 6-8 hours of sleep each night.

That’s all fun, but not yet crazy (by my standards). What I mentioned above is a packed schedule. What warrants the title of “crazy” is that, although I know that my schedule is packed, I’m still adding more. I’ve applied to be a Transfer Ambassador beginning in a couple of months, I’ve made the committment to write a blog post every day and freewrite for 15 minutes (nonstop) 5 days a week. I’m offering my hand, my arm, my legs, my back, left and right to friends and those who ask for help; I don’t remember the last opportunity that I had passed up.

Hacking the adage: I started by taking a bite that filled my mouth but still allowed me to chew, if only just a tiny bit. The moment after I started to chew, I took another bite, chewed, took another bite, chewed… and so on. I’ve intentionally committed to too much in small intervals. I based my actions on the idea of adaptation.

To keep with the analogy, after each bite, my cheeks are stretching, my jaw muscles are loosening up more, and I’m able to take another little bite. It’s not about biting off more than you can chew, it’s about biting off as much as you can chew, then biting off a bit more again and again.

It’s truly amazing how much we are all capable of doing. It’s truly amazing that we all have 24 hours in a day, but some of us (you? … now you?) can do so much in the same amount of time that others do so little. I’m not hating on those who don’t do much, I straightforwardly believe they just never try to bite off more than they can chew, so they never adapt, never grow, and are never amazed with themselves.

I haven’t crashed yet. I’ll let you know if I do.

 

Stay Positive & Do As Much As You Can, Then Do A Little More

Garth E. Beyer

 

To Succeed

Garth Beyer

you have to take on the pain of it.

That means mistakes. That means stumbling, falling, and bruising. That means burning a couple of bridges and sometimes some of the ones that you spent time building.

 

Stay Positive & Emphasis: You Have To Take On The Pain

Garth E. Beyer