Every guy and lady have been victim to their own accidental voicing of an opinion or failure to complete a task in a relationship. In other words, everyone in a relationship ends up digging themselves a hole by not thinking before speaking or taking action. One will say something that is meant to be a friendly remark and it will come out wrong. Then they will try and clarify it and end up making things worse, digging themselves deeper into a hole.
It’s quite clear, even in my relationship, that men dig themselves holes more often then women and I am sure you would agree.
Though, digging yourself a hole is not always the problem since you usually end up laughing at the ridiculous statement you made. The real problem occurs when you can’t recover and clarify yourself. especially if your loved one takes real offense, which often they can.
One day I was recklessly offensive to someone and dug myself a deep hole. Sadly it was on a topic related to her family — a big no-no. At first she laughed but then the subtle honesty in my joke set in and I began digging myself deeper from there. Proceeding the after-noon that was spent in a state of emotional dysfunction, we recovered from my mistake. After we were on the same page again I joked that men should get a “Get Out Of The Hole Free” card. Damn I’m brilliant.
She laughed at the idea but then considered that we (men) do make mistakes. So instead of trying to recover from a comment which results in a deeper hole, the card is a way to just shut-up and start over or forget it. That day we decided that we would both get ONE “Get Out Of The Hole Free” card each month. Why not? It saves us from having an accidental emotional disaster. At the same time it forces us to be more aware of our thoughts and actions, especially if you use your card in the first week of the month.
Share the idea with your loved one and let me know how it works for you!
If you are feeling lucky, you can tell your partner that the card’s rollover each month.
Stay Positive and Out Of The Hole
Garth E. Beyer
