I was thinking the other day at work how I have slowly quit telling my dad about my goals and interests in life. It’s a bit depressing when you have to stop sharing stories about your life with your parents because they have become negative and “worried” about you. Do your parents express the following qualities?
- Apprehensive and hesitant about every choice you are going to make.
- Constantly suggests that you get a full time job and focus at one thing at a time.
- Go to school, stay in school. Do whatever it takes to be in school.
- Refuses to support you in what you are interested in. They will only support you in what they think is right.
- Similar to the above, but their way is the right way.
- Always take the safe route, in a job, activity, etc.
- If you are not in school, they don’t support you financially.
- They don’t care about your passions.
- The opposite of your 3rd grade homework, they no longer care as passionately about your personal creations.
Now I may have been a bit critical, but I wanted to express a point that there are parents of all degrees of negativity. I have tried talking to my dad and telling him what he needs to do – support me, be interested, keep the cynicism to himself (If you don’t have anything positive to say, don’t say it). After his half-hearted attempt at acting like he supported me, I decided I needed to find out what went wrong. He was once the opposite of all the bullet points I listed above. So what happened?
Parenting is a career that any parent can quit
To put it simply. I grew up and he forgot how to stay young. Do you remember how ecstatic your parents would be when you would bring them a B paper, or a picture you drew of an ancient Victorian castle that actually looked like a gross crustacean vomited on the paper and your parents still loved it and put it on the fridge? (maybe behind something, but at least it was still on the fridge) Your parents would encourage you to be creative as hell! I remember listening to Brian Tracy and he mentioned a fourth grade teacher that asked her student what he was drawing. He replied “God”. She said “Oh honey, you can’t do that. No one knows what God looks like”. I admire the student for how he responded, “Yea, that’s because I havent finished drawing him yet”. All parents begin by having that attitude that you can draw God, that you can create, be, do absolutely anything you want in life. They are completely patient with you and love your experiments no matter how much time, money, or resources it takes from them.
Why does this parenting attitude end? Because parents are quitters.
It’s not the kids fault afterall
I really did laugh out loud when I finally came to the conclusion that parents quit practicing the lessons they taught their kids. Think about that for a moment, every parent is about creating the best kids, so they teach them the greatest lessons. Of course they are aware that you are going to mimic them, so they have to live up to their advice and preaching. But something flips the switch in their minds when you reach a certain age. They resort back to the lifestyle they lived before they brought you into the world. They become cynical, apprehensive, full of anxiety and all they ever focus on is the “reality” of life. (Reality being interchangeable with The Negative)
They also forget that they raised you to be creative and to go after big goals. But once that switch flips, all the sudden none of it matters. -Worst case of undiagnosed Alzheimer’s in the world-
“The greatest gift a parent can give a child is the ability to become independently happy. And the greatest gift a child can give a parent is exercising that ability”
A word to the parents
Don’t grow up. I am speaking for the billions of kids in the world when I say that we would rather you treat us like babies our entire life and keep a positive attitude, than let the switch be flipped.
A word to the kids
Don’t grow up. I am speaking for the billions of kids in the world when I say that we would rather you keep the heart and mind of a 4th grader than live the cycle of your parents and let your switch flip off.
Stay Positive and Youth-Spirited
Garth E. Beyer
“The greatest gift a parent can give a child is the ability to become independently happy. And the greatest gift a child can give a parent is exercising that ability”
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