Transparency is not a glass of water.
People talk about it like it is a standard beverage. Clear. Cold. Served the same way to every person at the table.
But real transparency is closer to a light dimmer in a crowded room.
You do not yank the switch all the way up because you like it bright. You ask how much light the other person needs so they can see what matters and not feel like they are under interrogation at a highway rest stop.
Most of us confuse that.
We say, “I am being transparent.”
Which often means, “I have told you the part I am comfortable sharing and I have done it in the way that makes me feel honest.”
The problem is that the recipient might still be sitting in the dark.
Your version of transparent might be a clean spreadsheet.
– Theirs might be an honest story of what went wrong and who is on the hook to fix it.
Your version might be a carefully crafted email with three bullet points.
– Theirs might be, “Tell me what you are afraid of here, really.”
Transparency is not a product. It is a service. (The best things in life are.)
It is not something you pour out of a boxed water carton with the same label for everyone. It is something you tune.
You ask:
– What do you need to feel in the loop?
– What information would help you trust this?
– What would make this feel like I am not hiding anything?
Then you give them that.
Sometimes it is numbers.
Sometimes it is context.
Sometimes it is admitting that you do not know and that scares you too.
The trick is simple and uncomfortable. If you are the one holding the dimmer you are not done until the person across from you can see the room clearly enough to stay.
Stay Positive & Maybe It’s Even Better To Call It What It Really Is: Empathy
