GarthBox

I used to have a boss that rarely ever accepted any of the work I shipped without critiquing it on how it could have been better (even when it was amazing). It hurt in the moment, every time. But by damn did my work reach a whole new level every time I shipped because of it.

I have a friend who, if you know him, is extremely optimistic. Yet, time and time again I hear him telling other people about worst case scenarios. It took me a bit to realize he was doing it to manipulate them to think positively about their experience. When he was the one to be pessimistic, they would get defensive and in being defensive, would actually become optimistic.

In short, we’re pretty easily manipulated.

It makes you wonder, doesn’t it, that if you’re really upset about something, maybe…maybe maybe the result of being upset is that you try harder, care more, ship better work, remain more optimistic, and so on.

Stay Positive & Manipulation Seems Less Of A Bad Thing, Doesn’t It?

It’s easy to divide feedback into helpful or not helpful.

But it often skirts the reality that helpful isn’t about the feedback at all; it’s about what you do after receiving the feedback.

Stay Positive & It’s The Action Taken After The Feedback That Matters Most

A remarkable video editor starts with a single video. Then they learn to stitch a couple of videos together seamlessly. Then they quickly get to stitching multiple videos. And so on…

The same goes for learning language. You start with words. Then you go to phrases. Then you go to sentences… and so on.

It’s an effective approach to learning.

To try to jump from step one to step 100 is educational suicide. It creates unnecessary frustration.

Trust the process.

And by all means, move fast through it if you feel the need to become an expert. But expertise comes from time. It’s a law like gravity.

Stay Positive & Some Processes Just Aren’t Worth Trying To Cheat

People don’t care as much that you listen as they do that you act on what you hear.

That’s leadership. Making decisions based on what you hear.

Surveys. Suggestion boxes. 1-1s.

They only matter if the person acts differently after they listen.

Stay Positive & Sounds Like Leadership, Doesn’t It?

A joke isn’t too funny if you have to explain it.

Except, most of the time, when you do have to explain it, it leads to laughter because of that fact.

Maybe explaining it isn’t such a bad thing after all.

If the goal is not to get judged, then it’s a poor choice. But if the goal is to be understood, explaining works wonders.

Stay Positive & You Can Say That Again

They’ll listen if they want to.

Learn if they want to.

Care if they want to.

The real question is if you’re going to continue creating meaningful work, caring, and giving a damn regardless if they want to.

Of course… the answer is obvious.

Stay Positive & ….If You Want To

It was the baristas first time making a cortado and she told me.

That’s risky, isn’t it? Should I lower my expectations because it’s her first? Should I feel connected knowing that she would appreciate my feedback? Should I hold high expectations and give her fist bumps for a job well done?

In the capacity of firsts, I think it’s a safe bet to tell others it’s your first and not act like you’ve done a million before. Firsts are precious moments. They are yours and they can never be experienced again.

As for the second? Then it’s time to act as if it’s your 2,000th.

Stay Positive & Give Yourself That Grace (It’s Often What’s Needed To Ensure There’s A 2nd…3rd…4th…)