GarthBox

Every salesperson loves to say it: “This industry is all about relationships.”

They’re not wrong. But let’s ask this:

1. How many calls have you made this week to nurture those so-called relationships?
   If it’s all about people, show me the activity. Show me the site visits. Show me the effort that proves you’re invested in something beyond the transaction. Outside of work, who have you emailed that you consider being in a relationship with? There’s a threshold of activity that represents a relationship – and a threshold that doesn’t. Which are you in?
   
2. How many customers have you asked to be a reference?
   If it’s truly a relationship, they’d vouch for you—right? So are you asking? Are you earning that kind of trust? And how many are you asking to introduce you to someone else? That’s the real power of a relationship; it’s a connection point to another one. And what I also hear salespeople say is: “They all know each other and talk to each other.” All the more reason to ask to be introduced to someone while you’re on the phone with them, right?
   
3. How often do you reach out to closed customers without asking for anything?
   Relationships aren’t built on renewal dates and upsell opportunities. They’re built on consistency, value, and genuine interest—even when there’s no deal on the table. Actually, especially when there’s no deal on the table. So, I’d love to see the numbered answer to this question for every person that says they are in a relationship industry.

Try This Instead: You’re In The Trust Business

Trust is measurable. Trust is active. Trust is earned every time you follow up without a pitch, every time you make a customer feel seen, every time you deliver value without strings attached.

So stop calling it a relationship unless you’re actually putting in the work to build one. Pick up the phone. Revisit the site. Ask for the reference. Deliver value when it’s quiet.

And if you do that consistently? You won’t just say you’re in the relationship business. You’ll prove it.

Stay Positive & That Is Why You’re Here Right? You’ve Got Something (Meaningful) To Prove

If someone is engaged in conversation with you, chances are good that the most impactful statement you can make is advising them on how they can level up.

If they’re talking with you – and this might sound bad – they want something out of it. Sure, address the concern or question or topic they’ve brought up, but bolt a leveling up suggestion on with it.

“I appreciate the recommendation, and next time it would be stronger if you shared two alternatives you vetted against it” is a load more helpful than simply, “I appreciate the recommendation.”

Great leaders and mentors treat every engagement as a chance to lead and mentor; the opportunity is always there if you lean in for it.

Stay Positive & It’s Awesome You Read This, But You’d Benefit More If You Started Your Own Blog Too

Then there’s no point in handing off a project. No point in asking them to do something.

The only reason you ought to be talking to them right now is to discover what makes them tick.

Finding out their love language is a great place to start.

Once you know that, proceed with all the asks, projects, feedback, and so on.

The results will amaze you.

Stay Positive & It Works Just The Same To Tell Others What Your Love Language Is, Too

One of the responses I frequently get when I riff about figuring out how to gift something in every connection you have with another is that there’s not always something to gift.

I still call b.s.

Another way to consider what to give is what to give back.

Ending a meeting early when it doesn’t need to go any longer is a gift.

So is giving the same level of energy and attention the leader of your project gave you when they kicked it off.

Refunds are considered credits for a reason.

Stay Positive & There’s Always Something You Can Give

Those are the two options when something you’re doing isn’t going the way you want.

One is obviously way easier, though it comes with a lot of emotional weight.

The other takes an open-mind, curiosity, collaboration, ideation, and a strong willpower.

Sort of obvious which is more fulfilling to take, isn’t it?

Stay Positive & The Best Part Of Pivoting? You Can Always Pivot Again

The concept of not liking a job really isn’t a thing for the curious.

The idea that you wouldn’t like a book genre doesn’t apply to the curious, either.

Nor does the type of people you’ll interact with throughout the day.

The curious seek out lessons and value in whatever is in front of them.

Stay Positive & Good Thing Curiosity Is A Choice, Huh?

If you wait until the end of the party to tell your kid it’s time to leave, you’re bound to get tears.

It might be better to tell them when you’re leaving as soon as you get there.

It might actually be better to tell them about it that morning.

If you wait until the end of year review to tell your new hire your expectations for the year, they’re bound to have fallen short of them.

It might be better to tell them after a few months; once they’ve onboarded enough and learned the ropes.

It might actually be better to tell them all the clear expectations during the interview.

Just about every relationship you could imagine does better (via less friction, that is) when you’re quick to communicating expectations.

Stay Positive & Early Is Better (Might As Well Throw “Often” Into That Too)