Don’t Bother With Critics

Garth Beyer

Ignore The Critics, Shun The Naysayers

If it’s a critic you’ll never be able to please, don’t try.

If it’s a critic you might be able to please, don’t try.

If it’s a critic you can please, don’t try.

There are two people we all mean to please: those who care and ourselves. Unfortunately we get confused about critics. We think mattering equals caring, and so we let them judge us, let them decide to pick us or not, let them control our progress (or worse yet, the direction of our progress).

Critics don’t care, friends do. And it’s easier to turn a stranger into a friend than it is a critic.

 

Stay Positive & Having Critics Is Essential, Listening To Them Is Optional

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Working To Make It Work

Working To Make It Work

Garth Beyer

People are turned off by opportunities they feel others will have to work hard to make work. They’re willing to put in the effort, but they assume (wrongly assume) the other party isn’t willing to work either, thus they pass the opportunity up.

If I avoided every opportunity, If I didn’t send in every application knowing it would take effort on their end to work it out, If I didn’t ask for what I wanted even knowing the other party would have to make a sacrifice too, I wouldn’t be where I am today. (And I love where I am today.)

Not so surprisingly, when you’re human, you show you care, when you work to make things work – in other words, when you give the other party a reason to put in the effort to make an opportunity work for you – they put in the effort too.

 

Stay Positive & People Care When They See You Do

How Corny Are You Willing To Go

Garth Beyer

Corny

“Corny” is a term we use for a depth we’re uncomfortable with, that we may be guilty or embarrassed about.

It’s corny to say you’re cooler than the other side of the pillow, but it’s true, and me saying that is unique. I said it once to a gym teacher back in middle school. He had a smile on his face the rest of the day and I like to think he had us run one less lap because of my comment. We shared an experience together — an odd one, sure, but those are the best ones.

Unique and interesting comments of praise are scarce, and scarce things are meaningful.

How corny are you willing to go to make someone’s day?

I used a line by Oscar Wilde in a Thank You letter to someone recently. It was corny, but real, as so often corny things are. I’ve also seen people write something simple like “I know it’s corny, but I’m so thankful for you.”

 

Stay Positive & Clichés Are One Thing, Being Corny Is Another

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Fuel To Your Flame

Fuel To Your Flame

Garth Beyer

Imagine if you had the control to throw anything you wanted into a fire and it would burn.

A rock. Water. Cat litter. All fuel for the fire.

The fire in your belly, the passion you have, the mindset you’re igniting is a lot like the world I just asked you to imagine.

You have the choice to accept criticism as fuel to your flame. “Who is even going to listen to you two talk [on your podcast]?” was the most recent comment I’ve gotten. (The answer is probably no one, but I’m not letting that stop me from producing the show. Maybe you can help prove her wrong in March when Michael and I launch In The Box podcast. Anyway, back on point…)

You can craft the belief Walter Bagehot had: the greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do. I take people’s doubt and let it drive me not just to prove them wrong, but to prove myself right. It works for the most part.

You can turn what the trolls say (including the troll inside your head) and use it as fuel to work smarter, try harder, and prove you can do what others (and sometimes yourself) don’t believe you can do.

It’s an option, of course. It’s on you to decide how you take things. Will you take them personally? Or as fuel to your flame?

 

Stay Positive & Onward, Light’em Up

Storytelling, Transparency and Relatability

Garth Beyer

I know what my story is.

Correction: I thought I knew what my story was until I got an email a couple of days ago.

Emails open eyes

Gary Vaynerchuck is the man. I loved his book Jab Jab Jab Right Hook and I took his Skillshare class about a week ago. During the class he told his students (me) to email a few others and ask them what they think our story is.

I’ve written that the best way to know what you’re great at is to ask people you’ve worked with what they think you’re great at. Same concept, but this time I’m asking about my story, not my skills. I sent four emails out and got one reply yesterday. Here it is.

What's My Story

TL;DR I might have the knowledge of a 30-year-old, but I don’t have the experience, and you must have the experience to have a story.

I love Tim. His bluntness is what I look for in people who I surround myself with. Just tell me how it is, be forward, that’s how I can best learn and process what my next move will be.

When I sent the email asking about my story, I was expecting positive responses, perhaps flat-out praise. I didn’t think it would turn out like this. I sat and talked to my girlfriend about it. Here. Listen. It starts with Briana asking me about my blog stats to try to make the point that my writing has gotten less relatable… fear not, my stats haven’t changed, but that’s not really a good thing either, is it?

The recording has been removed. It messed up the podcast RSS feed I have. Apologies. You can still find it here.

(Listening to this recording reminds me of the StartUp podcast, and how Alex Blumberg’s wife is the one with real wisdom. Women. They have an act for knowing when we’re wrong.)

I hope this post is transparent enough. It’s my life… doing these things that make me uncomfortable is how I’ve expanded my comfort zone as far as I have.

For those who are interested, the interview went smoothly because I walked in there knowing I have done all I could to get the job, it was comforting enough knowing that. It made things easier.

I still choked on my saliva, spoke too fast at moments, and sweated a lot – all inevitable.

I got the job. When you truly try your best, you’ll get what you want – that’s inevitable too.

 

Stay Positive & It Always Works Out (If You Work For It)

What I Want

What I Want

Garth Beyer

About two and a half years ago I wrote a very short list of things I want. I open up the document containing the list every month or so, usually when I’m cleaning out my DropBox.

At the bottom of the short list, I have a motto. It’s more moving to me than the list of things I want…

Stop thinking about what you want. Think about how you want to feel.

Instead of looking for what will make you happy, focus on what you’re good at.

Rather than planning to get ahead, find a way to help others.

.

Stay Positive & People Over Platforms, People Over Things

 

Age Matters, But Should It?

Age Matters, But Should It?

Garth Beyer

Steve Jobs has more experience than me, but if I have read up on every single lesson he has learned from all his experience, then does he actually know more? or do we know the same amount? or do I still know less?

I’m toying with the concept of age and why it matters so much. I’ve had a number of experiences where I could do something, but my age got in the way.

While still in high school I applied for a newspaper job, a job people go through four years of college to do and number of internships to get, but I knew I could do it well enough or at least learn fast enough to do it as well as anyone else.

No surprise, I didn’t get the job. I was too young.

I wanted to run a seminar on finances, but was told not enough people would come because what 40-year-old is going to believe anything a 19-year-old has to say, regardless of the fact I’ve written more than 200 articles on money management, started selling at age 6, bought a Corvette at the age of 15, and graduated without any debt and studied everything all the financial gurus put out there.

Even with the experience, I was still too young.

Knowledge is power…so long as you’re at an age people will believe that

I’m constantly blogging about business, startups, and public relations concepts. I’m spitting out things I know to be true, part from experience, part from obsessively studying others’ success and failures and learning from other people.

If I’m not talking to someone about the marketing industry or a business idea either of us have, I have buds in my ear listening to others share their stories via podcasts, if not that, I’m lifting weights while thinking about trends or talking to my girlfriend about the next thing I’m going to chase. I’m a carrot guy, not a stick guy, and I’m still not as trusted as Steve Jobs, Seth Godin or Chris Brogan because, well, they’re older than me.

Knowledge, wisdom, insight are all very subjective matters. I’ve worked heavily the last year and a half to convince others I have all the above despite my (in the grand scheme of things) minimum amount of experience. Through that process I’ve lost connection with a lot of my readers. After an email from a blunt friend and conversation with my girlfriend (likely to be posted on my blog tomorrow), I’ve realized I stopped doing what I preach others to do: be personal.

Age matters, and fighting the perception others have is an uphill battle I’m exhausted fighting. Instead of sharing what I know, I will again be sharing how I came to know it. I’ll show how I’ve become a 22-year-old with a 30-year-old brain and why I find myself saying “I’m such an old man” more often than I like.

I invite you to stop by GarthBox more often. There will be more about my suffering, anxiety, nervousness, uncertainty, risk-taking, and lying to myself, and, of course, how I’ve overcome it all.

 

Stay Positive & Stick Around For The Ride

*In lieu of this sort-of announcement blog post, In The Box Podcast will be available on iTunes beginning of March. My cohost Michael Langlois and I chat about 6 themes, which you’ll know about in advance of each podcast so you can listen to just what you want to hear. I hope you find them all interesting and…personal.