GarthBox

All three of those words typically lead to disappointment.

But they don’t have to.

Not to that high of a level of disappointment.

Consider the beer bar that puts a sign on the empty shelf stating “fresh options coming Thursday” versus just leaving the shelf empty. Disappointing, maybe still, but now there’s something to look forward to.

Joking to a mother saying the goblins ate all the sugar waffle cones to ease the disappointment of her child who came in wanting one made all the difference to their experience. Disappointed still, yes, but no tears.

The level of disappointment we create is a choice.

Best we plan for how we’ll act when a delivery never arrives, when something spoils, when we’re late to an important gathering and so on.

Stay Positive & Think Of It Like A New Way To Prepare For The Worst

You might not have a pen and paper handy, but you’ve got your phone or a computer or someone near by that can give you a way to capture a bit of info.

That bit of info strengthens any following connection. And if there is no following connection, you lose nothing but the 20 seconds it took to make a note since you can’t rely on your brain.

There’s a reason servers who remember a name get bigger tips or hairdressers who remember a bit of info you shared at your first visit end up with you revisiting again and again.

And before you argue… it’s fine that they wrote it down. It’s actually more heartfelt because they care enough to document rather than trust their memory.

People who try to memorize directions waste mental space. It’s no different than remembering a birthday or a trip a person has upcoming. Why rely on your brain to remember and risk the relationship.

The big difference between directions and information about someone? If you forget directions, you merely get temporarily lost. If you forget personal info, you lose the richness that comes with connection – a win-win situation.

One note to yourself will make a world of difference.

Stay Positive & Take Note

There are five love languages.

It’s easy to gather an understanding of each and then ask others to share theirs so you can relate more thoroughly.

But here’s what a google search about them doesn’t get you.

Just because someone has one love language, does not mean the others don’t matter.

Consider this: if you want to be in a relationship then they need to be trustworthy. But don’t they also need to have a bit of personality, a touch of humor, and a dose of selflessness?

The same can be said about anything we think is the “most important.”

Shame on us if we interpret “most” important as the “only” important element.

It’s not.

Stay Positive & Go Deep, Of Course. But Broad, Too.

It’s a shame the mindset of dipping your toe in the water gets buried with our childhood.

Yet, I’d argue it’s just as critical for us to relearn how to be slightly curious enough to try something new a little bit when we’re older.

Why?

Because the biggest difference between being a child and an adult that dips their toes in the water? We’ll actually leap in.

Stay Positive & Leaping Is Everything

There was a tiktok video in which the person joked that we can look at anything in the world and know what it would feel like to lick it.

Stupid. But they have a point.

Unfortunately (or fortunately) most of the experiences that shape who we are, how we behave, how we treat others isn’t based on what it feels like on our tongue. It requires us to experience it. Our imagination can’t do it well enough for us.

Giving a $100 to a complete stranger has a different emotional impact when we do it versus when we think about it. So does working in a coffee shop. Or being a parent.

Anything worth doing can’t be done via the imagination. Virtual reality will never change that. It may get us closer to the experience of licking it, but not all the way.

Stay Positive & By All Means, Imagine, But Best To Do Than To Imagine If There’s The Option

You can have everything you want in life if you help enough others get what they want.

But if you don’t know what they want, how the hell can you help?

The expression isn’t a shortcut. It takes work and for you to give a damn about someone else before you.

But once you know. Then you can act. Once you act, then you can benefit.

Simple, but hard.

Hard, but worth it.

Stay Positive & So, I Ask Again, Do You Know Their Ambition?

It doesn’t make sense to travel to a different country and not know the basics of saying hello, where’s is the bathroom, two beers please…

So why would we go into a meeting not willing to speak a bit of the language of those attending?

Or why have a 1-1 without knowing a bit of how to speak the language of your boss?

Or date someone without knowing a bit about their love language?

Stay Positive & You Don’t Need To Speak It In Full, But Some? Mandatory.