It’s Better To Love and Not Know It

It’s a terrible tragedy when you realize that you love something. So don’t. (This excludes people).

Excludes people? Yea, when you recognize that you love something, you doubt you deserve it and begin searching for its faults.

Maybe that is why you loved your job at first and then you began liking it less and less. Onto the next one,

you find the learning experience of a new job amazing. I sure do, I am sure we all do, it’s in our nature. We love learning new things, love challenges, love accomplishments and that is exactly what new jobs offer. THEN we reach the level of “love”. This level is right around the point that we know enough to rock out a day at work, but we still don’t know enough to not ask any questions. But this bliss is momentary because it is at this time when we realize that we love our jobs.

Something begins badgering our brains and tugging our hearts. I call it “doubt”, doubt that you deserve what you are getting. Doubt that you deserve to love your job. Why we immediately begin doubting why we deserve something so great? I do not know. I do know that when we begin to doubt, we look for our/the jobs faults.

We begin to nitpick and find anything to use as a reason to not love our job. And from there, it is all downhill. When we get in the mindset of looking for faults and surrounding ourselves with negativity, the only way is down.

And until we can truly accept that we deserve the best and we deserve to love our jobs, we are all better off making sure that we do not realize that we love our job in the first place.

 

Stay Positive and Ignorant, For It Is Bliss

Garth E. Beyer

 

 

S.A.D Your Darkest Cloud #TM

5 minutes and 33 seconds – the length of my 2nd Toastmasters speech titled S.A.D Your Darkest Cloud

“I liked your creative conclusion and 3 point organization. The organization made it easy to follow and you referenced it frequently”

“>Like the blend between facts and ideas > engaging > at times you didn’t seem too sure of yourself which halted your flow (mostly at beginning) > good hand gestures, eye contact, but your legs were static”

“Good job on giving the background of the 2nd study – slow down a bit when reading the studies and during the rest of the speech. Great ending! – Loved the ‘Life Weights…’ – Great job w/ speaking clearly and in an audible tone”

“The speech was delivered well and i will probably remember a lot of what you talked [about]”

“Great job! Well laid out topics w/ great summary, using personal experience really helped people relate. Good suggestions for how to get out of the depression!”

“Great control of time and speed! i really enjoy you speak. I think you can be even greater if you don’t use notes”

“Very good speech. I love the humor at the end of your conclusion. Very timely as well.”

“Great topic. The bad weather in winter season makes many people feel worse. it is good to avoid this feeling by talk[ing] with others.

“Garth> Fantastic. I actually have seasonal depression & working out and being with others, I have found, is key to ridding negative thoughts & gaining a clear head. You spoke very well & had great energy which made it a pleasure to listen to you.”

Feels comfortable in front of an audience. I thought the topic was important to the audience. I liked the way you ended with the statistic you mentioned at the beginning”

Thank you to the audience members who read this for their feedback. I greatly appreciate all feedback: The glamored, the guts and the grime. Now it’s time for public speaking tips.

Lessons On Speech Prep and Present

Originally my speech was not 5 minutes and 33 seconds. After I wrote it out and timed it, it was 11 minutes and 49 seconds.

Lesson 1: Time your speech at different intervals as you write it. It will prevent you from writing too much and pressure you to amp up the content and let the fluff fly away.

While I was writing essays growing up, my mom would always tell me to always write extra because it is a lot easier to take out then to put in. While this may be true for essays, it is not for speeches under 7 minutes.

Lesson 2: If you end up with a 4 page speech when it should be no more than 1 1/2 pages, scrap it. Pull your main points out and use them for an outline and reference your 4 page speech when you get stuck. It is best to use it only when you get stuck because when you try to use a lot of your longer prepared speech, you will feel like the points wont be as powerful without all the fluff around them. Trust me. I used 2 days trying to take pieces out of my speech to shorten it when I should have started over after I found out it was nearly 12 minutes long.

Once my speech was set and in between the 5-7 minute restriction I thought I would try a new memorization strategy. I recorded myself giving the speech on my computer and uploaded the file to my iPod. I will tell you now, it is very uncomfortable when you listen to yourself give your speech for the first few times. But then I learned two lessons from it.

Lesson 3: Once you get over laughing at yourself as you listen to yourself giving the speech, you begin to notice the details. You notice when you take a breath, you notice the points of poor vocal variety, you notice the areas in which you really seem passionate and the areas in which you sound boring. By becoming an attuned audience member, you can become the tuned in speaker everyone wants to hear.

While originally this was not my point for recording my speech, this strategy greatly increased my presentation abilities. I won more than half of my audience’s appeal to having listened so intensely to myself speak over and over and over. But the real reason I recorded myself was that I wanted to memorize.

Lesson 4: Increase your memorization speed by listening to yourself give your speech. You will begin to mouth out the words as if it were a song.

Unfortunately, this technique did not work as well as I expected it to for me. However, I would still suggest it because the extra bit of memorization could be vital to your actual presentation. If you have or end up trying this strategy, please share your results! I would love to know if there is a particular way you memorize your speech.

…and then it was speech time.

Lesson 5: Next time you give a speech, ask a few audience members (or if you are in Toastmasters, ask the club members) if they will observe how you handle your struggles. When speakers fail to know every single idea, thought, feeling and movement of their speech they tend to, like me, find a way to push their ideas out or find a way to strive to reach an idea.

During my speech I struggled to remember and connect a few ideas and I used too many hand movements. I felt that if I made the movements as if I were getting an idea across, the idea would follow but it wound up backfiring. Do you know how you handle your struggles?

Lesson 6: Do not focus only on hand and facial gestures.

Audience members respond to whole body movement as well, as you read in my club’s feedback, my legs remained static during this speech. Just a reminder.

The Short Version

As you know, my original speech was almost 12 minutes long. I know that work did not go to waste because I truly enjoyed researching for it, writing it and learning from it. For now, enjoy the speech version rather than the “essay version”.

S.A.D. Your Darkest Cloud

There’s something I hate. Really do hate, and as you know I’m a very optimistic person, so it’s a huge deal that I’m starting with the fact I hate something. Now what I hate is a mood disorder and almost everyone gets it, whether it’s barely noticeable or you end up taking a trip to the doctor. Even with my positive attitude, I get it. I get SAD. Seasonal affective disorder, better known as winter depression or winter blues.

The symptoms can be so disastrous that all the positive energy and self improvement you created and invested in yourself throughout the last year could flash away in less than a week.

You find yourself unhappy with all of your achievements, in fact, you don’t even call them achievements, achievement is a sign you’re going somewhere. But you’re not; at least this is what the emotional disorder will tell you.

Now, can you believe 6.1% of the population suffers from seasonal affective disorder at a degree that they should ask for help? It’s such a small percentage but 6.1% of the US population is nearly 19million people.

All of this research began from the fact that every year, I’m in this 6.1% when the season starts to change to winter. After more than 9 years of trial and error I came up with 3 ways to, not only tackle seasonal depression, but these 3 ways can be used to leverage yourself in your success journey. The three topics I am going to talk about are exercise, the personal link, and the passion experiment.

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Now, do you have a coworker or friend that works out every day? I am going to bet that they are the ones with the most energy in the office, the ones that get things done and always have a smile on their face while doing so. I am finding it incredible the correlation that exercise has on our feelings and emotions throughout the day.

Let me share a study with you, researchers compared the effects of 30 minutes of walking on a treadmill with 30 minutes of quiet rest in 40 adults recently diagnosed with depression. None of the participants were taking antidepressants or exercising regularly.

The results showed that both groups reported reductions in feelings like tension, anger, depression, and fatigue. But only the exercise group reported feeling good, as measured by improved scores on “vigor” and “well-being” indicators.

And that is what we really want isn’t it? We don’t want to not feel bad, we want to feel goooood.

Even more so, I found another article where scientists have experimented with rodents and know that running induces the production of new neurons in rodent brains, BUT Elizabeth Gould and colleagues at Princeton University report that this benefit is wiped out when animals are housed individually, a situation she likens to “solitary confinement” for humans.

Which brings me to my next factor of fighting back depression, human connections.

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I can go on about the negative consequences to social isolation, but that is not going to motivate you to make personal connections when you are feeling down. What will, is talking about an out of the box benefit. While most read that social connections promote outcomes of better health, longevity, and greater quality of life — I have concluded an even better benefit. Social interaction can spring you forward to your life’s goals.

When talking to others, you have to form all your ideas into sentences to form a complete idea. Why do you think were told to practice our speeches out loud? By talking to people you have to put it in words and simplify it to where it’s understandable and the result is achievable. When you talk with people, every word is a brick to the path of the ideas manifestation.

Furthermore, with this social interaction, you will simply forget about depressive thoughts.

Can you recall the last time you were so focused on something that time just flew by? Maybe you were on a phone with a friend and didn’t realize it had even started to rain outside or a personal example, I was talking to a friend on the bus about my eBook and we both forgot to pull the cord and missed our bus stop. We get involved with talking to others about life, and goals, and achievements that we forget the negativity, the downs, the SAD emotions.

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Now the state of connecting with people leads me to my next point, life is like a giant game of connect the dots. You know people; those people know other people or have information that can help you get what you want and live your passion.

And acting on your passion is my last point because the action of going after what you want can decrease your depression symptoms. Why? Because you have a focus. It’s similar to what I mentioned with personal connections, you get so caught acting on your passion that all the emotions and negative circumstances in your life disappear.

To be honest, seasonal depression helped me figure out what I was absolutely most passion about, and just as I have over 250 life goals written down, I have the same number of passions, but having the depression helped me figure out the top thing. Writing. When I sit down and write I forget everything, I forget to eat, I forget to sleep, I have once gone over 6 hours writing without getting up to go to the bathroom. But most importantly, I forgot it was winter, I forgot I was sad, I forgot all the negative situations in my life… they vanished. I want the same for you.

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By exercising each day to release the gitty-up chemicals in your brain, by making social interaction a priority, and by making your passion an adventure by exploring and sharing your findings,  you can decrease the force of depression, eliminate it permanently, or completely prevent it in the first place.

Before I end this speech, do any of you remember approximately how many people suffer from seasonal affective disorder in the US? (nearly 19mil) Even though this is such a small number compared to the actual number of  people in the US, if these people started to exercise, started to seek out connections, and do what they love can you visualize how HUGE of an impact that would make on the world as a whole?

That is almost 19 million people achieving their goals, feeling motivated, having energy, being happy, inspiring others, connecting with each other, exchanging positive attitudes, spreading love. They say a simple smile is contagious, well you mix all the emotions and actions of the above and you have yourself a freaking epidemic!

BUT, the winter season is filled with dark clouds, both literally and mentally speaking with seasonal affective disorder being the darkest cloud. We know that it’s the time that everyone is at the highest risk of depression, so remember when you lift weights, lift ideas with people and lift your passion, you are also lifting your darkest cloud.

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Stay Positive and Lifting

Garth E. Beyer

The Tipping Point

The world has always been right – little things can make a big difference. But it wasn’t until Malcolm Gladwell gave us the book The Tipping Point to teach is HOW little things can make a big difference. (Thank you to my mom for recommending and lending me the book)

I have to say that this is the longest period I have gone without writing a blog, the main reason is that I have been reading The Tipping Point, by Malcolm Gladwell. I’ve also been researching and working on my next Toastmasters speech which you can look forward to later this week. But I would like to say that I finished The Tipping Point today and want to give you a Book Regurgitation post. If you are unfamiliar to this, I take notes whenever I read a book and mark the most important points along with making my own ideas and thoughts based off of what I read. You can click the “Book Regurgitation” category to see a couple of my other posts on books I have read.

What is most exciting is that if you like this post than you can really look forward to my future posts since I have a goal to read 25+ books this year, including all of the books on my book shelf that I have not made time to read. Before you continue, I will give you a heads up that I do not give a clear summary or a critique of the book, if you would like a summary version before you continue you can find it here. Better yet, you have already read the book and are wondering if I have similar thoughts or ideas related to it. Read on and let’s find out. As always, I hope to connect with you, so leave a comment about what you think (and pardon the pun of connect). Actually that’s a great place to start.

I am not a connector. Connectors, being one of the few that usher trends into epidemics of popularity. Or at least, I wasn’t. What I came to find is that I, you, everyone, holds the power to BECOME a connector. You should note that Gladwell never said that connectors were born the way they are, or mavens are raised a particular way to grow up to become a maven. They simply became what was at their core, but that does not mean that someone who is not a connector can’t become one or that someone who is a not a salesman can’t become one or, better yet, someone who is a maven can’t become a salesman too. “…the New Economy is going to lead us to rely more and more on very primitive kinds of social contacts. Relying on the Connectors, Mavens, and Salesmen in our life is the way we deal with the complexity of the modern world.” I say, in addition to entering the social circle of Connectors, Mavens and Salesmen — BECOME a bit of each one. As Gladwell stated, we are currently relying on these connections, and will continue to rely on them more and more as the New Economy progresses. Since I am a person who likes to take care of all the tasks instead of assigning someone else, because I know I can do it better – I had to figure out how to become a Connector, a Maven and a Salesman. I do not want to rely on others to take each role. Here are three steps to become each one of the few.

Becoming A Super-Human Vector Of Popularity

Becoming a Connector

  • Open an excel spreadsheet and start inserting everyone you meet. Every business card you get, every teacher you have, every friend you are introduced to, and so on – put their names, contact info, and a description of how you can connect with them (how you met, how you know them, have a similarity). This is where the rule of 150 does not appear.
  • Remember, its the small things that count. Become a connector by getting out and interacting with people. When you are at the bookstore, observe what books people are reading and if you can make a connection. When you purchase something, use the clerk’s name and have them remember you. It is as much getting people to remember you, as it is remembering them. To become a connector, you have to put in two times the effort.
  • Life Optimizer created a fantastic list of how to become a master connector. The first two bullet points are the two biggest factors that I focus on, Life Optimizer hits everything else. View the 106 tips to Become a Master Connector

Becoming a Maven

  • Having a focus and a passion is only detailing the face value of a Maven. In order to truly become one, you have to become detailed. You have to narrow down your focus into one small subject and then expand on it. It’s like going up a family tree, taking one branch that does not make any other branches, and then making a tree from it.  You need to exploit every thought and idea and put them into your focus. If Mavens were Experts, they would call them that, but an Expert is the foster child to a Maven.
  • Book recommendation, Tribes by Seth Godin. In order to become a Maven, you have to have a following in each of your focuses; a select group of people that are connectors and salesmen.
  • Life Optimizer does it again here, How To Become a Maven (Mr. Know Everything)

Becoming a Salesman

  • Read, Listen, Write, Act. I constantly read books on selling, on success, on business, etc. Then I constantly listen to cd’s related to sales like Brian Tracy, Zig Ziglar, John Maxwell, Jim Rohn, and so many others. Let’s just say I have more sales/motivation audio files than I do music on my iPod. I then write out my thoughts, new ideas, actions, reviews, etc in my blog or in my journal as I read and listen. Lastly, I go back and I act on all of the lessons I taught. No better way to become a better salesman then reading, listening, writing, and acting.
  • Actually there is, failing.
  • Yet again, I have to pull a resource from Seth Godin, check out some lens’ on Salesmanship at Squidoo

Reflections, Reactions and Tips

Other than coming up with ideas of how to become each one of the few, the chapters regarding the Law of The Few was much more stimulating to me. Although, It made me feel slightly dumb that I had not thought of categorizing the types of tippers into three small groups. Too often we believe that there are a thousand factors to a business’s success, when really, its tipping point is a matter of one or two small changes. From here on I am going to expand on the points that I noted while I read the book. I did my best to give you a little taste of everything in the book, my views, and the ability to comment on it.

  • I took the surname test and got a score of approx 41. Which was the average score of the test Gladwell gave to his friends and acquaintances, mostly journalists and professionals. He also gave the test to a group of health educators and academics at conference in Princeton, New Jersey and that group scored an average score of 39. It truly surprised me that I ended up knowing this many people, during the first 10-12 lines of names I scored very little. You can try this exercise yourself without getting the book by clicking the link at the bottom of this post.
  • “Gosh darn it,” Gau said, “if you don’t try, you’ll never succeed.” I noted this because of the tattoo on my back,”If you don’t try, you fail”.  I also love to think that I am similar to Tom Gau in the sense that I create a persuasive conversational dance with everyone I meet. It is for this reason that I feel I would make a great salesman. Despite my actions you can take to become each one of the few, it puzzles me what made Gau a perfect Salesman. What actions, thoughts, behaviors did he express throughout his life that pushed him in this direction. What was the Tipping Point for him in becoming One of The Few?

The next chapter regarded the stickiness factor, which refers to the unique quality that propels the phenomenon to become “stuck” in the minds of the general public and by collateral, influence their behaviors.

  • Gladwell uses the success of the TV shows, Sesame Street and Blues Clues to define all angles of the stickiness factor. It’s clear that a lot of his focus in explaining the factor is related to children and their TV shows. At the end of the book, Gladwell says to “use the thinking in this book to create something new” and I feel that the following will be my research into the stickiness factor. What makes self-development/motivational/inspirational/self-help/ videos sticky for adults? What would the distractor be? What do adults typically focus on? If it could be done on a larger level, having a 30 minutes motivational boot camp TV series, what are the small additions that would need to be to make it stick? Once I acquire more financial freedom, you can bet you will see a post that provides these answers – just as well as you will see me on my 30 minute motivational boot camp TV series each week. Do you have any ideas?
  • All the more interesting, a factor that is used in children’s TV shows would best be applied to the motivational boot camp series — repetition. Gladwell explains that the repetition that Blues Clues uses giving the children a sense of affirmation and self-worth. Two of the most powerfully positive stimulants one could experience. I personally never looked at repetition in this view, thank you Gladwell for bringing me into the light.

Which brings me to one of the biggest points of the book which is summarized in one sentence and not truly expanded on, so if you missed it here it is.

The tipping point is all about selling one idea at a time.

And the greatest part is that if you use the perfect “little things that make a big difference”, you only have to sell a total of a few ideas.

Now, while the Law of the Few and the stickiness factor were simple, straightforward and packed with specific evidence, Gladwell throws you a broad rule of the epidemic called The Power of Context. In these two chapters he establishes the fact that if the trend is not introduced at the right time, it is unlikely that the tipping point will occur.

  • The infinitely positive attitude I have, provided a nice lens when reading about the fact the minor seemingly insignificant quality-of-life crimes were the tipping points for violent crimes in the sense that if people saw broken windows and graffiti-stricken walls and trains, then they feel that they are less likely to get caught or be the one at blame. To make it positive, I saw it as the same for extreme success. It’s created by cleaning up the few negative behaviors you have, it is the smallest things that count. Just a reminder to not focus so much on creating progression of success and focus instead, on eliminating the few actions that are preventing you from reaching your goals.
  • Earlier I said that Gladwell stated that he wanted us to think of how the Tipping Point could apply to a situation in our lives. It keeps on coming up! This morning I was talking with my coworkers about the increase in heroin transactions in Madison, WI. If you have read some earlier posts of mine, you know that I live on the east side (the ghetto side), but you will also know that I found a diamond in the rough apartment complex and are actually a good 5 blocks away from all the bad areas of town. I felt a tad special at work when I brought up Gladwell’s example of the van that carried new needles to exchange with used ones. I will definitely keep some attention at the increase of heroin addicts in the city.
  • The second application of the Tipping Point’s take on the broken window theory happened when I saw someone litter – threw a wrapper out of the window. A smoker – who could have guessed? It was most likely the plastic wrapper that encased his pack of death sentences. The idea that if a town were to put into action a group of weekly garbage pickup volunteers, we would Tip the epidemic in the opposite direction. A perfect example is Earth Day, when thousands upon thousands of people volunteer their time to do street side cleanup. Do you notice that after Earth Day each year, the time it takes for garbage to accumulate takes longer. The more garbage there is, the more likely people will be okay with littering. It is like the rule of 72 in reverse, quickly multiplying the amount of garbage being littered. When you look at areas that have organizations that constantly pick up trash, they steadily have less trash to pick up. As much as I support the idea of prevention over clean-up, it was not until I read the Tipping Point that I understood that clean-up is a form of prevention.

  • As I have hopes to run for President in 2028, I was fascinated on the excerpt study on the fact the people voted more republican because the reporter smiled more when talking about the republican. Aside from the fact (which Gladwell explains further in his book) that people mimic motions of the body and facial movements of the person they are having a conversation with, people take it on an emotional level.
  • I tested the first factor of mimicking expressions a couple ways. The first was that I smiled more when my roommate came home or walked into the room. It was immediately reflected. No wonder they say smiling is contagious, but they forgot to expand it — every facial movement is contagious. In addition to smiling each time she walked in the room, I would also have a puzzled look, a weird look, a sweet luck, a mad look, all of them reflected. I also tested it out while walking up the street on the way home from my bus stop. Another person was walking on the sidewalk coming at me and we both put on a flat, tough, apprehensive looking face. We mimicked the expression of the other person.
  • One of the  most interesting points was when Gladwell took a look at “character” and “the mistake we make in thinking of character as something unified and all-encompassing”. This tendency is termed the Fundamental Attribution Error, which is a “fancy way of saying that when it comes to interpreting other people’s behavior, human beings invariably make the mistake of overestimating the importance of fundamental character traits and underestimating the importance of the situation and context.” A way he goes about explaining this is in a test of cheating on a test. (What an oxymoron).
  • Why this test caught my attention was that I am working on a blog post about the difference between being smart and bullshitting a paper and being dumb and bullshitting a paper. I have had friends get upset that I received an A on a smartly bullshitted paper and have even had them call me a cheater for it. I wont lie, what they called me can be the truth sometimes. I have cheated on school work before — I can recall a time in World Geography class when I wrote the capital of each state on a piece of paper so that I only had to memorize where all the 50 states were and not their capitols. What would my peers say about my character? They would call me a cheater. But that is false. —

“Character, then, isn’t what we think it is or, rather, what we want it to be. It isn’t a stable, easily identifiable set of closely related traits, and it only seems that way because of a glitch in the way our brains are organized. Character is more like a bundle of habits and tendencies and interests, loosely bound together and dependent, at certain times, on circumstance and context. The reason that most of us seem to have a consistent character is that most of us are really good at controlling our environment. I have a lot of fun at dinner parties. As a result, I throw a lot of dinner parties and my friends see me there an think that I’m fun. But if I couldn’t have lots of dinner parties, if my friends instead tended to see me in lots of different situations over which I had little or no control — like, say, faced with four hostile youths in a  filthy, broken-down subway — they probably wouldn’t think of me as fun anymore”

So yes, I am a cheater in the environment and context of 9th grade world geography class during a test on all the states and capitols. I am not, however, a cheater in environmental science class, or at the workplace or at home. Thus, calling me a cheater falls under the Fundamental Attribution Error.  This is the reason why people can do terrible in school, but miraculous at the work place. It is why people may be dumb as hell, but are the greatest boxers in the world. You would call them neither, poorly educated or workaholics, nor would you say that a person has the brain capacity of a jellyfish or is a fitness expert. They are both, all of the above, and a whole lot of other things too. It is all a matter of context.

  • The second chapter on the law of context explains a 150 personal connection rule. I found it fascinating that a number could be pinned and as social as I am, I found that in each area of my interests, I can’t really connect with more than 150 people on a personal level. The concept also sparked an idea for my public speaking events. I will have networking before the event, but it will be divided into groups of a 125. Instead of having seats lined up in rows and all 2,000 people together, it would be broken up into sections. And since I plan on having two to three day seminars, the people would keep their same seats because they can feel comfortable with their group. If a person is too worried about what the other people around them are thinking about them, they wont be able to pay attention to the lessons I am speaking on. I am not only benefiting myself by breaking up groups into less than 150, but also benefiting the people themselves. In the sense, we are all the same, we cannot connect with more than 150 people in a the same group at once… it can’t reach that point of connection which is important in inspirational public speaking engagements.
  • To continue, the groups I would be speaking to, Gladwell would call the revolutionaries or innovators and early adopters. The ones willing to try it out and test it, to take the risk. These people would receive revolutionary changing ideas from me. The problem that Gladwell expands on is the chasm between the early adopters and the attitude of the early majority – they are incompatible. An idea or invention cannot spread easily between the two, and this is what I fear most. I am currently focused on connecting  with the revolutionaries instead of the early majority. It’s similar to a business plan, a person can have a plan to be successful in business, but they forget to plan their removal of the business equation – give someone else the hard work to do while you reap the profits and start on some new idea.

  • In the two matters of memory – rumors and mental capacity – I found the capacity factor the most interesting. It explains one person in a relationship does not need to maintain certain memories, because their partner will. I thought of my roommate and how much information I purposefully ignore because I know she will remember it, leaving me with more capacity to recall what I really want. A beautiful observation that I was unclear of until I read this book.
  • Something else that caught my attention –but I can’t read my handwriting to indicate the page number it was on– was the act of piggyback riding. It had to do with the AirWalk shoes. They used their marketing to target each upcoming epidemic. Now I want to bring an idea up with you that relates to this. Recently I have been offered a Financial Advising position and am going to turn it down. Despite their persuasions that all of the baby boomers are not turning 65+ and they are in desperate need to receive financial guidance, I disagree. This particular time of need is quickly declining as the baby boomers are soon beginning to die and the fact that they have never had any financial direction, and are very unlikely to take advice even though they need it. I will be turning down the offer in order to prepare for the next epidemic – when the 75+ trillion dollars of money that is being transferred from the elders to their young. It is these people that need the financial guidance and have the time and attention to handle the knowledge. I am going to piggyback ride the epidemic of wealth transfer as a way to promote and succeed in the world of financial advising.

The End of The Tipping Point (Or rather, the beginning of all the Tipping Points)

“She changed the context of her message. She changed the messenger, and she changed the message itself. She focused her efforts. This is the first lesson of the Tipping Point. Starting epidemics requires concentrating resources on a few key areas. “ “The theory of Tipping points requires, however, that we re-frame the way we think about the world.” “All of these things are expressions of the peculiarities of the human mind and heart, a refutation of the notion that the way we function and communicate and process information is straightforward and transparent. it is not. it is messy and opaque” “The Ivory soap 800 number is what I call a Maven trap”

These are brief statements I highlighted, from the conclusion onto the forward of the Tipping Point where Gladwell unleashes himself. The ideas, points, references, case studies that he shares at the end the book are truly remarkable. If you do not want to read the whole book, let this be your cheat – read the conclusion and forward.

Wanting to know if you are a connector? Or want to know about Malcolm Gladwell’s book The Tipping Point and his other writings? You can visit his website here.

The book broken into my reactions –> Hmm, interesting, very interesting, wow, interesting, so true, hmm, seriously? Why didn’t I think of that before, interesting, so true, WOW…… it pretty much goes on from there and repeats. Saying this book is worth a read is an understatement.

Stay Positive and Three Cheers For The Law Of The Few – To the Mavens, Connectors, and Salesmen

Garth E. Beyer

High Existence: A Look At Exercise and Public Speaking

When you become fit, you become fit for public speaking. Due to the plethora of information regarding healthy lifestyles and their correlation with public speaking, along with my personal experience in Parkour and public speaking, I think its due time to make a post about it.

The Analogy You Expected

The way we exercise our bodies is the same for public speaking. In order to have a fit body, we continuously hit the gym, hit the floor, hit the mat, and hit the weights. We all know that we can’t just workout once or twice a week and expect to see positive results. In order to exceed average public speaking skills, we have to give multiple speeches each week, we have to practice our tone, volume, and linguistics. For both, the list of practice methods are endless. The same goes for the results; with consistent training you become a key-note speaker or a certified ass-kicking machine. Just as well, the tips for staying motivated and consistent work for both. Here are the two simplified versions.

  • Position, Plan, Execute – Evaluating yourself and where you stand on the line of success now, is how you can tell if you have made improvement later.Figuring out your position allows you to choose the techniques for the next step, planning. You have to plan out where you want to go, to get there. You cant expect to walk around aimlessly and find the “X” marks the spot treasure chest. By knowing where you are, you figure out where you want to be. In planning how to get there, you will get there, but you need to execute your plan. You have to follow the steps you set for yourself. You do so by following the next tip.
  • Dangling Carrots and Maximizing Achievement – Regardless of your end goal, you wont get there unless you break it down into dozens of small goals with small rewards. For example, if my goal was to cook a meal for the top 10 richest people on the planet and “I” had to make it without the help of anyone else (yes the world can be cruel at times, better to expect hardship and be grateful for any help than to expect help and face the hardship of it not being there), I would make one dish at a time. I know that trying to make everything at once would end up a disaster, so I would break it up into small goals, small meals. In doing so, I am maximizing my achievement by putting 100% of my effort into the one dish instead of 10% of my effort into each dish. The real catch to accomplishing small goals, is the reward. I know the visual is typically a person that wants to lose weight and they are running on a treadmill with a donut hanging in front of them, but I am a health nut so I dangle carrots. Positive rewards to go after. As a result of finishing each dish, I will indulge myself by being the first one to enjoy its delishes-ness. After the first dish, I am ready for the next!

 The Real Connection

Why is it that people fear public speaking more than physical pain?

It does not really matter, but if that is the case, I challenge you to experience positive physical pain: Workout. I guarantee that if you begin to exercise regularly, that your fear of public speaking will dissipate with each physical mark of progression you make. Not only that, but all your public speaking attributes will improve drastically. It is easier to understand the process by examining the connected benefits between working out and public speaking.

  • Exercise releases endorphins which make you happy “the good feel hormones”
  • Increases blood flow getting oxygen to your body, making you less fatigued and providing more mental and physical energy
  • By working out you become more energetic and alert of your surroundings which results in the ability to make audience connections and impromptu comments
  • “Whenever I am running, I am always thinking of things. When you’re running, the oxygen is like the ignition switch to great ideas” – Certified Personal Trainer

What The Sweat And Physical Exertion Boils Down To: A Stunned Audience

“Audiences like speakers who reflect good health and physical vitality. Research has shown that an audi­ence associates a speaker’s well-being with the soundness of his or her verbal messages. So watch your diet and exercise regularly.” – Toastmasters manual on Gestures.

Do you recall learning that your appearance both creates and leaves the biggest impact on your audience. Speakers forget that their first impression is not the first sentence out of their mouths, it is their appearance and the way they walk up to give their speech. Having a fit lifestyle will promote a confident entrance to public speaking. Apart from the words you share, you will enjoy sharing your image, you will enjoy sharing your hard work (exercise) and the results – “Dayumm you look good. A person looking as good as you must have something important to share.”

Fact: The same part of the brain that keeps people from losing weight also keeps people from great wealth! – The Millionaire Mind

“Studies have shown that a mere 7% of the messages that we communicate to others are transmitted by the words we use verbally. Instead, 55% of communication is based on physiology: the way a person stands, whether or not he smiles, degree of eye contact and so forth. The remaining 38% of communication is in tone of voice. What is said must be consistent with how it is said […] By subconsciously mirroring the physiology of others, a sensory message is sent to the brain, creating a similar emotional state. Therefore, health and fitness professionals who love their work, company, and clients and exhibit the body language that corresponds with these emotions positively affect the people around them. Because all sales decisions are ultimately made on emotion, having this effect on people can open the door to initiating the relationships that a successful career is built on.” – NASM Essentials of Personal Fitness Training

I would be doing this post an undeserving torture if I stopped here.

Richard Branson is the 4th richest citizen of the United Kingdom and 254th richest person in the world, according to the Forbes 2011 list of billionaires, so his words cannot be taken lightly. Especially when he was asked what the quickest way to success was… He answered with one word “Workout”.     Here are some other quotes by Richard Branson

“There’s an old saying: Look the part, and you’ll get the part. Well, more and more research is showing that people who are leaner and fitter are viewed as being more competent and successful than those who are overweight. And when people view you as competent, they are more likely to pay you what you deserve. Don’t believe me? Consider this: A New York University study found that people packing an extra 40 pounds make 20 percent less than their slimmer colleagues” – Eat This Not That, David Zinczenko

To end this post, I have to add another passion of mine that hopefully you have read my other posts on: Parkour

Ah, Sweet Ol’ Parkour

One of the greatest Parkour founders,Châu Belle, explains it is a “type of freedom” or “kind of expression”; that Parkour is “only a state of mind” rather than a set of actions, and that it is about overcoming and adapting to mental and emotional obstacles as well as physical barriers

You have to master your mind to master Parkour. And what do you need to master in order to master public speaking? That’s correct, your mind.

I would like to add that you not only have to master your mind, but your body – your movements. Just like public speaking, Parkour requires precise movements of the body in succession to mental stimulants. Can you see the correlation with gestures? It is as simple as that.

Just one more reason to try Parkour.

Stay Positive and High In Existence

Garth E. Beyer

Poetry Night 010

I

There is a lighthouse in my head.

It remains altruistic.

Gratitude is billowing about the edges.

 

My light is hope to others.

Hope in the future.

Putting power in the present.

 

Navigation is a prospective.

The light emitted is purely a lens.

Hazards become vanquished,

Before the world ends.

 

II

Tourists flock my mind,

Operating to each and all.

Their voice, my preservation,

“I’m a lighthouse. It’s your call”

 

A rather functional location,

providing needed external support.

For all of you I am maintained,

You are my resource.

 

III

Fear not the unconscious rocks of despair,

They are the beacons of a challenge,

Come to me, the light in the air,

Let your thoughts control your resilience.

 

Stay Positive and In The Range Of My Light

Garth E. Beyer

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Stomp The Prompts And Eggshells! Out-Of-The-Box Writing Prompts and Lessons –

It’s winter time in Madison, Wisconsin. It is actually snowing right now and we are supposed to get up to 5 inches. I figured this would be a perfect time to post my writing prompts I created just for you. Regardless if you are living where its snowing, I hope you have some time to do some free writing. Below you will find 15 writing prompts and one bonus prompt that I will respond to. Following the prompts I will give you suggestions on how to successfully write prompts. As much as it is a free writing technique, there are requirements and lessons to learn. It took me a lot of cruddy free writing stories to learn and I am more than happy to share them with you. Without further ado,

15 writing prompts, just for you by Garth E. Beyer: Because getting prompts elsewhere just is not good enough!

  • The tornado sirens are blaring and you are waiting by the window patiently to see if there is actually a tornado nearby. You see a woman screaming and pointing behind her as she runs toward your house. Why do you think she is screaming? What do you?
  • You felt adventurous this morning so you are at the local park which is basically like being in the woods. Not realizing how far off the trail you have gotten, you become stuck between a wolf and the edge of the cliff with raging waters steadily streaming down below. What are your thoughts and actions?
  • A large burly man has you thrown over his shoulder. Since you are not in view of the direction he is heading, all you see is desert land behind him. What do you think is ahead of him? Where is he taking you?
  • You are a bird for a day. What do you do? Where do you go?
  • You have just won the $1000 a week for life lottery. How do you celebrate? What are your plans for the money?
  • Your school field trip leaves you stuck in the hot air balloon with the prissiest girl in your class. How do you survive the 2 hour hot air balloon ride while the fuel slowly runs out?
  • Write a detailed description of where you believe wind comes from.
  • You must use a color in every sentence while describing the beginning, growth, and end of the life of your favorite fruit.
  • Free write with the sole focus of stars. It may be stars on a flag, or the sky, as long as the subject remains on stars.
  • Write in detail of your dream vacation. Where is it? What do you do? How would you describe it to a family member upon return?
  • List different types of hugs a person can give and the significance or subconscious meaning behind each.
  • You are on a roof of a building with your friends and they are pressuring you to jump across to the roof of the adjacent building. What is running through your mind? Do you jump?
  • You have just been in a terrible biking accident down a hill. You are telling your friend the narrative starting from the beginning of your day to how you ended up in the hospital bed.
  • The city has dubbed you head of college applications “Admissions Officer”. Revise and Rewrite the acceptance letter to your liking to be given to all accepted college applicants.
  • You have an assignment for Garth. You need to come up with fifteen writing prompts. Do you obey and write the writing prompts? If so, what are they? If not, why not? (Post them in comments section for me and others)

Toastmasters Bonus Prompt

My bonus prompt is not one I made up like those above. I got it from attending Toastmasters the other night during Table Topics. I was the first to volunteer (always am) to go up and pick a folded piece of paper with the prompt. “Theme: your personal best, real or imagined… Making dinner for a picky eater”. The Table Topics Master focused on positivity and the point of the Topic was to focus on the best parts of an experience, no matter how disastrous it may have been.

When I read my prompt I quickly thought of a cursed friend when she was vegetarian. It was her birthday and I tricked her by telling her that I had to stop back at my house to get my money. How could I purchase her sweet things at the mall if I had no money? To her surprise I had the house pitch black…except for the candles. I had the dining room set up with a table cloth, candles, silverware and wine glasses. After pulling the chair out for her, I came back from the kitchen and surprised her with a huge dish of vegetarian lasagna. She had been begging me to make a dinner for her. I am not the best cook, but beg and you shall receive. I found a lasagna recipe online, but really ended up grabbing whatever ingredients I thought would go good in it. While it turned out to look a bit more like goulash, she loved it. As much as she has begged me to make it for her again, I refuse. I consider that day to be my personal best at making a dinner for a picky eater. I would not want to ruin it.

Yes this was impromptu speaking and I edited it a bit for posting it here. But I didn’t want you to be the only one writing prompts! It’s like having a personal fitness trainer that doesn’t lift weights with you. It just cannot be.

I Prompt You To Learn These Lessons About Writing Prompts Promptly

1. Writing from a prompt is supposed to break you away from your normal writing techniques. I suggest practicing writing with your left hand before you start a prompt, flipping open a dictionary and taking some random words out to use in your writing, and doing your best to not use your memories – use your imagination.

2. I broke up with my prompt and got the better half. Writing from prompts are not meant to flow. You are not writing an essay (unless stated otherwise in the prompt hehe). Be brief and concise in each idea you come up with for the prompt, break them up and find a way to connect them later. The greatest stories from prompts happen when miraculous ideas are dubstepped on paper and get the reader using all parts of their brain to connect them.

3. If you decide to crumple up your paper, you know you are in the right direction – as long as you uncrumple it and keep writing. You have to let yourself fail when writing from a prompt, only then can you figure out the message you really want to get across in the prompt.

4. Having writers block when trying to write a prompt? Others will tell you to force it and push through. They are wrong, never do this when writing from a prompt. What they are asking you to do is break your barrier and find the flow. As stated in number 2, that is not what you want. Grab another prompt that you can actually start and be creative.

5. Really do have fun with it. So many freewriters focus on making their story really important and try to send a message or lesson in their writing from a prompt. Yet again, they are trying to shape what they write, do not do this. If a lesson or theme is supposed to be shared from the prompt, then it will be. The main focus should be to make your writing quirky, unique, and out-of-the-box.

6. Lastly, I want to provide you with one great resource that I found on Squidoo (Created by Seth Godin, one of my heroes). Check out this Writing Prompt Lens

Stay Positive and Egg-on Those Prompts

Garth E. Beyer

Kids Kill the Successful Spirits of Their Parents

I was thinking the other day at work how I have slowly quit telling my dad about my goals and interests in life. It’s a bit depressing when you have to stop sharing stories about your life with your parents because they have become negative and “worried” about you. Do your parents express the following qualities?

  • Apprehensive and hesitant about every choice you are going to make.
  • Constantly suggests that you get a full time job and focus at one thing at a time.
  • Go to school, stay in school. Do whatever it takes to be in school.
  • Refuses to support you in what you are interested in. They will only support you in what they think is right.
  • Similar to the above, but their way is the right way.
  • Always take the safe route, in a job, activity, etc.
  • If you are not in school, they don’t support you financially.
  • They don’t care about your passions.
  • The opposite of your 3rd grade homework, they no longer care as passionately about your personal creations.

Now I may have been a bit critical, but I wanted to express a point that there are parents of all degrees of negativity. I have tried talking to my dad and telling him what he needs to do – support me, be interested, keep the cynicism to himself (If you don’t have anything positive to say, don’t say it). After his half-hearted attempt at acting like he supported me, I decided I needed to find out what went wrong. He was once the opposite of all the bullet points I listed above. So what happened?

Parenting is a career that any parent can quit

To put it simply. I grew up and he forgot how to stay young. Do you remember how ecstatic your parents would be when you would bring them a B paper, or a picture you drew of an ancient Victorian castle that actually looked like a gross crustacean vomited on the paper and your parents still loved it and put it on the fridge? (maybe behind something, but at least it was still on the fridge) Your parents would encourage you to be creative as hell! I remember listening to Brian Tracy and he mentioned a fourth grade teacher that asked her student what he was drawing. He replied “God”. She said “Oh honey, you can’t do that. No one knows what God looks like”. I admire the student for how he responded, “Yea, that’s because I havent finished drawing him yet”. All parents begin by having that attitude that you can draw God, that you can create, be, do absolutely anything you want in life. They are completely patient with you and love your experiments no matter how much time, money, or resources it takes from them.

Why does this parenting attitude end? Because parents are quitters.

It’s not the kids fault afterall

I really did laugh out loud when I finally came to the conclusion that parents quit practicing the lessons they taught their kids. Think about that for a moment, every parent is about creating the best kids, so they teach them the greatest lessons. Of course they are aware that you are going to mimic them, so they have to live up to their advice and preaching. But something flips the switch in their minds when you reach a certain age. They resort back to the lifestyle they lived before they brought you into the world. They become cynical, apprehensive, full of anxiety and all they ever focus on is the “reality” of life. (Reality being interchangeable with The Negative)

They also forget that they raised you to be creative and to go after big goals. But once that switch flips, all the sudden none of it matters. -Worst case of undiagnosed Alzheimer’s in the world-

“The greatest gift a parent can give a child is the ability to become independently happy. And the greatest gift a child can give a parent is exercising that ability”

A word to the parents

Don’t grow up. I am speaking for the billions of kids in the world when I say that we would rather you treat us like babies our entire life and keep a positive attitude, than let the switch be flipped.

A word to the kids

Don’t grow up. I am speaking for the billions of kids in the world when I say that we would rather you keep the heart and mind of a 4th grader than live the cycle of your parents and let your switch flip off.

Stay Positive and Youth-Spirited

Garth E. Beyer

“The greatest gift a parent can give a child is the ability to become independently happy. And the greatest gift a child can give a parent is exercising that ability”