Stomp The Prompts And Eggshells! Out-Of-The-Box Writing Prompts and Lessons –

Garth Beyer

It’s winter time in Madison, Wisconsin. It is actually snowing right now and we are supposed to get up to 5 inches. I figured this would be a perfect time to post my writing prompts I created just for you. Regardless if you are living where its snowing, I hope you have some time to do some free writing. Below you will find 15 writing prompts and one bonus prompt that I will respond to. Following the prompts I will give you suggestions on how to successfully write prompts. As much as it is a free writing technique, there are requirements and lessons to learn. It took me a lot of cruddy free writing stories to learn and I am more than happy to share them with you. Without further ado,

15 writing prompts, just for you by Garth E. Beyer: Because getting prompts elsewhere just is not good enough!

  • The tornado sirens are blaring and you are waiting by the window patiently to see if there is actually a tornado nearby. You see a woman screaming and pointing behind her as she runs toward your house. Why do you think she is screaming? What do you?
  • You felt adventurous this morning so you are at the local park which is basically like being in the woods. Not realizing how far off the trail you have gotten, you become stuck between a wolf and the edge of the cliff with raging waters steadily streaming down below. What are your thoughts and actions?
  • A large burly man has you thrown over his shoulder. Since you are not in view of the direction he is heading, all you see is desert land behind him. What do you think is ahead of him? Where is he taking you?
  • You are a bird for a day. What do you do? Where do you go?
  • You have just won the $1000 a week for life lottery. How do you celebrate? What are your plans for the money?
  • Your school field trip leaves you stuck in the hot air balloon with the prissiest girl in your class. How do you survive the 2 hour hot air balloon ride while the fuel slowly runs out?
  • Write a detailed description of where you believe wind comes from.
  • You must use a color in every sentence while describing the beginning, growth, and end of the life of your favorite fruit.
  • Free write with the sole focus of stars. It may be stars on a flag, or the sky, as long as the subject remains on stars.
  • Write in detail of your dream vacation. Where is it? What do you do? How would you describe it to a family member upon return?
  • List different types of hugs a person can give and the significance or subconscious meaning behind each.
  • You are on a roof of a building with your friends and they are pressuring you to jump across to the roof of the adjacent building. What is running through your mind? Do you jump?
  • You have just been in a terrible biking accident down a hill. You are telling your friend the narrative starting from the beginning of your day to how you ended up in the hospital bed.
  • The city has dubbed you head of college applications “Admissions Officer”. Revise and Rewrite the acceptance letter to your liking to be given to all accepted college applicants.
  • You have an assignment for Garth. You need to come up with fifteen writing prompts. Do you obey and write the writing prompts? If so, what are they? If not, why not? (Post them in comments section for me and others)

Toastmasters Bonus Prompt

My bonus prompt is not one I made up like those above. I got it from attending Toastmasters the other night during Table Topics. I was the first to volunteer (always am) to go up and pick a folded piece of paper with the prompt. “Theme: your personal best, real or imagined… Making dinner for a picky eater”. The Table Topics Master focused on positivity and the point of the Topic was to focus on the best parts of an experience, no matter how disastrous it may have been.

When I read my prompt I quickly thought of a cursed friend when she was vegetarian. It was her birthday and I tricked her by telling her that I had to stop back at my house to get my money. How could I purchase her sweet things at the mall if I had no money? To her surprise I had the house pitch black…except for the candles. I had the dining room set up with a table cloth, candles, silverware and wine glasses. After pulling the chair out for her, I came back from the kitchen and surprised her with a huge dish of vegetarian lasagna. She had been begging me to make a dinner for her. I am not the best cook, but beg and you shall receive. I found a lasagna recipe online, but really ended up grabbing whatever ingredients I thought would go good in it. While it turned out to look a bit more like goulash, she loved it. As much as she has begged me to make it for her again, I refuse. I consider that day to be my personal best at making a dinner for a picky eater. I would not want to ruin it.

Yes this was impromptu speaking and I edited it a bit for posting it here. But I didn’t want you to be the only one writing prompts! It’s like having a personal fitness trainer that doesn’t lift weights with you. It just cannot be.

I Prompt You To Learn These Lessons About Writing Prompts Promptly

1. Writing from a prompt is supposed to break you away from your normal writing techniques. I suggest practicing writing with your left hand before you start a prompt, flipping open a dictionary and taking some random words out to use in your writing, and doing your best to not use your memories – use your imagination.

2. I broke up with my prompt and got the better half. Writing from prompts are not meant to flow. You are not writing an essay (unless stated otherwise in the prompt hehe). Be brief and concise in each idea you come up with for the prompt, break them up and find a way to connect them later. The greatest stories from prompts happen when miraculous ideas are dubstepped on paper and get the reader using all parts of their brain to connect them.

3. If you decide to crumple up your paper, you know you are in the right direction – as long as you uncrumple it and keep writing. You have to let yourself fail when writing from a prompt, only then can you figure out the message you really want to get across in the prompt.

4. Having writers block when trying to write a prompt? Others will tell you to force it and push through. They are wrong, never do this when writing from a prompt. What they are asking you to do is break your barrier and find the flow. As stated in number 2, that is not what you want. Grab another prompt that you can actually start and be creative.

5. Really do have fun with it. So many freewriters focus on making their story really important and try to send a message or lesson in their writing from a prompt. Yet again, they are trying to shape what they write, do not do this. If a lesson or theme is supposed to be shared from the prompt, then it will be. The main focus should be to make your writing quirky, unique, and out-of-the-box.

6. Lastly, I want to provide you with one great resource that I found on Squidoo (Created by Seth Godin, one of my heroes). Check out this Writing Prompt Lens

Stay Positive and Egg-on Those Prompts

Garth E. Beyer

Kids Kill the Successful Spirits of Their Parents

Garth Beyer

I was thinking the other day at work how I have slowly quit telling my dad about my goals and interests in life. It’s a bit depressing when you have to stop sharing stories about your life with your parents because they have become negative and “worried” about you. Do your parents express the following qualities?

  • Apprehensive and hesitant about every choice you are going to make.
  • Constantly suggests that you get a full time job and focus at one thing at a time.
  • Go to school, stay in school. Do whatever it takes to be in school.
  • Refuses to support you in what you are interested in. They will only support you in what they think is right.
  • Similar to the above, but their way is the right way.
  • Always take the safe route, in a job, activity, etc.
  • If you are not in school, they don’t support you financially.
  • They don’t care about your passions.
  • The opposite of your 3rd grade homework, they no longer care as passionately about your personal creations.

Now I may have been a bit critical, but I wanted to express a point that there are parents of all degrees of negativity. I have tried talking to my dad and telling him what he needs to do – support me, be interested, keep the cynicism to himself (If you don’t have anything positive to say, don’t say it). After his half-hearted attempt at acting like he supported me, I decided I needed to find out what went wrong. He was once the opposite of all the bullet points I listed above. So what happened?

Parenting is a career that any parent can quit

To put it simply. I grew up and he forgot how to stay young. Do you remember how ecstatic your parents would be when you would bring them a B paper, or a picture you drew of an ancient Victorian castle that actually looked like a gross crustacean vomited on the paper and your parents still loved it and put it on the fridge? (maybe behind something, but at least it was still on the fridge) Your parents would encourage you to be creative as hell! I remember listening to Brian Tracy and he mentioned a fourth grade teacher that asked her student what he was drawing. He replied “God”. She said “Oh honey, you can’t do that. No one knows what God looks like”. I admire the student for how he responded, “Yea, that’s because I havent finished drawing him yet”. All parents begin by having that attitude that you can draw God, that you can create, be, do absolutely anything you want in life. They are completely patient with you and love your experiments no matter how much time, money, or resources it takes from them.

Why does this parenting attitude end? Because parents are quitters.

It’s not the kids fault afterall

I really did laugh out loud when I finally came to the conclusion that parents quit practicing the lessons they taught their kids. Think about that for a moment, every parent is about creating the best kids, so they teach them the greatest lessons. Of course they are aware that you are going to mimic them, so they have to live up to their advice and preaching. But something flips the switch in their minds when you reach a certain age. They resort back to the lifestyle they lived before they brought you into the world. They become cynical, apprehensive, full of anxiety and all they ever focus on is the “reality” of life. (Reality being interchangeable with The Negative)

They also forget that they raised you to be creative and to go after big goals. But once that switch flips, all the sudden none of it matters. -Worst case of undiagnosed Alzheimer’s in the world-

“The greatest gift a parent can give a child is the ability to become independently happy. And the greatest gift a child can give a parent is exercising that ability”

A word to the parents

Don’t grow up. I am speaking for the billions of kids in the world when I say that we would rather you treat us like babies our entire life and keep a positive attitude, than let the switch be flipped.

A word to the kids

Don’t grow up. I am speaking for the billions of kids in the world when I say that we would rather you keep the heart and mind of a 4th grader than live the cycle of your parents and let your switch flip off.

Stay Positive and Youth-Spirited

Garth E. Beyer

“The greatest gift a parent can give a child is the ability to become independently happy. And the greatest gift a child can give a parent is exercising that ability”

My Ice Breaker #TM

Garth Beyer

Hello fellow Toastmasters,

I know this is supposed to be about me, and it will be, but for a moment I want it to be about each one of you. What I want you to do is to take 20 seconds and ask yourself who are the five most influential people to you. Who do you look up to, admire, respect. Is it bill gates and his generosity, or is it Jillian Michaels or Tony Horton and their healthy fitness attitudes, or maybe just your grandma. Go ahead and take a moment to write the names down on the backside of the ballet sheet or just memorize them.

I was asked just the other week to name the five people who influence me most. I came up with

Brian Tracy

Zig Ziglar

Seth Godin

Oscar Wilde

And Tim Ferriss

Maybe you have heard of these people and maybe not. I won’t say you should know them because we are all focused in a different direction in our lives. The reason I wanted you to do this activity was because I believe that everyone should be living their passion. The biggest reason why few are living their passion is not because they “cant”. The universe would never hold you back from doing what you love. The reason is that few know what their passion is.

No one can answer “what is the point of life” for themselves. I had you participate so that if you don’t know what your passion is, I may have lead you one step closer because what I want you to do later  is to sit down and find a common factor between all of top 5 influencers to you. While it may not lead you directly to the point of life, it may make finding your passion much easier.

What my top 5 influencers have in common is that they are all authors and public speakers. But they all bring their unique qualities to the table. Zig Ziglar is motivating and full of wisdom, Brian Tracy is light and gives you the baby steps to life success, Seth Godin forces you to view all angles the and specializes in marketing, Oscar Wilde gives you a flash of history and a bit of romance, and Tim Ferriss is all about making yourself the experiment and breaking status quo.

Unlike these influencers, I have a “problem”. I have too many interests and specialties and goals in life. Last time I counted the number of life goals I had written down, it was over 250. I love to learn new languages like German and French, I love to travel, Parkour, write poetry, try new experiences, live a healthy lifestyle and countless more. All of which I look forward to sharing with you in future speeches.

I hope it’s clear that all of the characters I mentioned, and hopefully I am included with them, live by the quote “Think twice before you speak, because your words and influence will plant the seed of either success or failure in the mind of another.” By Napoleon hill

Can you begin to tell what my passions are yet? I hope it’s clear that I love to motivate, inspire, and encourage people to live the lives that best suit them and their goals in life. Just as well, I love to write and be a financial advisor and a goal consultant. And I do so, right now, by blogging on my website at GarthBox.com where my focus is to get you out of your box one life lesson at a time. And I am a firm believer in walking your talk, practicing what you preach and all the other clichés about following the advice you give to others.

But I wasn’t always like this. I had a rough childhood. I don’t remember ever seeing my parents kiss and they were divorcing before I could make the connection. I had an older brother that could have been the perfect role model, but became addicted to drugs and alcohol. My two closest friends that filled the positions of my brother went into the military and the other moved to Texas.

All of this left school to be the only place I could enjoy since it was away from what I was supposed to call “home”, I still had friends there, and of course there were plenty of ladies to chase after. It was not until my sophomore year that I was ready to really educate myself and focus at school instead of using it to cope.

It was my sophomore year that I was able to participate in the Running Start Program where I spent my junior and senior year attending Rock Valley College in Rockford, Illinois. In the end of the program, I, along with 43 other students, ended up getting our associates degrees two days before our high school diplomas. It was during my two years at college that I began to take responsibility for my life. I began to learn and understand many of life’s lessons and knew where I wanted to go in life.

And here I am. I just moved to Madison from Illinois nearly six months ago. On a side note, I said earlier that I practice what I preach and the reason why I make a great financial advisor is that I am already reaping the benefits of money management. VERY few 18 year olds have the finances or maturity to accomplish the goal of living on their own and supporting themselves without the help of a family or loan.

Now, I am going to be attending UW-Madison in the fall. I am going to major in mass communications and journalism and minor in marketing.  As much of a believer I am in a formal education I joked on facebook the other day that people should like my status if they learned more from Google than from school. There are great benefits to having a formal education, but even greater benefits from self-education and gathering informal credentials.

This is where my self-improvement self-educating attitude comes from and the reason I provide out-of-the-box life lessons to everyone. It is also the reason why I joined Toastmasters. I took a speech class in college and, not only loved it, but rocked it. I think giving speeches is one of the coolest things a person can do and something that is great about it is that not too many do it. Sure there are plenty of variables to it, but the main reason few like public speaking is simply, fear. I told myself once before that one of my missions in life is to overcome fear without hesitation. As uncomfortable as it is to put yourself out there, I do it. Because I live my life by the quote I have tattooed on my back, “If you don’t try, you fail”.

Thank you.

Reactions, Responses, Tips and Testimonials

After giving my first speech at Toastmasters and receiving very positive feedback, I thought I would share it with you. I am putting this up for other Toastmasters and public speakers to view and consider as a proficient piece of work to use as a bit of a guide. I also wanted to share it along with the feedback I received from the club and my evaluators feedback as a Testimonial. At the end I will share some tips about Public Speaking and why my speech was as great as everyone said it was.

“All the greatest lessons in life, are simple.”

My speech ended after 8 minutes and 30 seconds. What I posted above was the hardcore draft I wrote and practiced from. For the most part I stuck to my plan but deviated a few times to make it more casual and not ‘stuck to script’. I wrote up my speech on Monday and practiced it Monday – Wednesday. I suggest taking at least three days to practice your speech, especially if your time is limited with a full-time job. The following is the feedback provided on the ballots.

“I enjoyed your speech. I thought you had a very engaging intro. I liked the organization. You make good eye contact.”

“Excellent job. I like how you introduced the topic by asking the crowd to list their influencers. you are already a proficient speaker. thank you for gracing us with your energy and your knowledge”

“I like your courage of overcoming fears. Thanks for sharing your passion of life. I believe you will be a great public speaker”

“So open and energetic! Love that! Enthusiasm is what we love and want for ourselves. Just a tough long, maybe, a little meandering at the end. But so enjoyable!”

“Got us engaged with a great questions activity. Very well dressed as a presenter. Very comfortable. notes seemed to be well laid out. You have a great voice and great diction and I think this is something you will benefit from”

“Very nice speech. we got to know what you are looking for in your life”

“Good organization of speech, good eye contact, good use of humor, i liked the personal sharing, maybe more of it”

Now I have to laugh. On the backside of the last evaluation ballot there was written “Steve Jobs Barack Obama”. (Remember, I asked everyone to write names of the people who influence them on the backside of the ballot sheet since I was the only one giving a speech that day). Next is the evaluation required in the workbook.

“Very confident. Good eye contact, comfortable, easy presence. Mentioned a # of life goals, talked about your childhood and how that influenced you – good taste of what you are about. Well prepared. Very clear and appropriate volume. Very good opening with audience participation and pauses. Nice conclusion with body gestures – moving forward with body  when you were talking about ‘putting yourself out there’. Glanced at notes once. Possibly incorporate more gestures. Liked Everything! Good intro, bring in audience participation and also your interest in motivation – by asking us to live our life passion.”

To say the least, I signed up for my next speech for the next meeting and hope to share it with you as well. Now for the best part of the post, public speaking tips for you!

  • The greatest action you can take to make it seem that you are not reading from a script is hand gestures. You have to take the audience’s focus away from what you are saying, and have them focus on how you are saying it and presenting it. The impact you are making is far more important than the words you are sharing – show it.
  • Have you made a past speech that you knew you rocked AND have a picture of yourself from it? Frame it and put a sticky note next to it with the reasons you know why your speech was excellent. Look back on it to remind you what you did perfectly and should focus on for your next speech. (You can see mine in the picture above. I have written “Graduation Speech” – Not Nervous – Prepared – Large audience – Motivational – So many more to come – *signed*)
  • Exploit nervousness. The day of my presentation, I can get really nervous. Unlike others, I use it to my advantage. You can too! I do not try to repress the feelings of nervousness – I pull as much of it out. I let myself get sweaty or shaky and lose my appetite. By the time I am finally up to give my speech, I wore my nervous system out. I tell myself before I begin speaking that I have been nervous all day for this, so now its time to be confident.
  • Practice makes perfect. WRONG. It is perfect practice that makes perfect. When you are practicing your speech, go all out. Set up the area you are practicing to look as much like the area you will be presenting in later. Imagine the audience you will be speaking to. Exaggerate all hand motions and gestures as well as raising and lowering the volume of your voice. Do not memorize the words in your speech, memorize your speech – everything about it.
  • Lastly (Have to save more lessons to share next time), people forget the biggest principle about speeches. The intro and conclusion better be the hardest hitting and MEMORIZED. I guarantee that if you memorize an incredible intro and conclusion, no one will care how you presented the fluff of your speech. For that matter, the intro and conclusion cover the simplified version of what is in your body. What does every person in the audience want, whether they show it or not? Quick Compact Convenience.

Stay Positive and Slice The Bread (A lot smoother than breaking ice)

Garth E. Beyer

A Writer’s Crashing “Train of Thought” and Why It’s Excellent

Garth Beyer

Disturbing or interrupting a Writer while at work is one of the best, worst acts you could perform.

The reason why most, if not all writers dislike being disturbed is due to the lack of brain capacity. I do not mean that their brains can’t handle being interrupted and filled with information, I mean that they do not leave a void open for the disturbances. Then again, why should a writer do that?

Sure, getting interrupted when you are sitting down to start writing, or when you are hitting a little writers block is not a bad thing, it may even give you a mental jump start. But why is it such a sin to interrupt a writer while he is “in the zone” or making final touches or just giving birth to a fantastic surreal book idea? Why is it me and maybe a select few other writers who praise the moments of interruption during these power-writing and focused work moments?

Enter Clover (The Cat)

I have a lot to be grateful for Clover. She is one of the reasons I finish writing blog posts instead of only writing ideas to expand on later. From the picture above, you can tell how cute she is, so when she lays on my lap while I write, I can’t do anything but write. Who would want to disturb such an adorable creature. — And so I write.

On the other hand, she often makes me lose my temper because she interrupts my writing. I don’t have a problem with the moments she jumps up on my lap and lays quietly and sleeps. What I hate is when she jumps up and doesn’t land perfectly, slides off, all the while digging her claws into my legs. Even if you don’t have a cat,  I know you can feel the pain as a writer. It’s the same when someone interrupts you when you are in a hotspot of writing; rather than having claws scraped down your leg, they are scraped down your mind, breaking the frequency of thoughts. (Unfortunately I get to feel both: scraping on my legs and my mind)

Writing is Personal History

Whether it’s a cat digging its nails into your flesh, a person shouting your name repeatedly, someone who has the tv or radio blaring, or the fridge that is making too much noise, you (a writer) need to leave a vacant mental space for these interruptions. Not so you can deal with them and move on, but so you can absorb the experience and transfer it into your writing.

Everything writers write comes from the past. It comes from some thought, some memory, some action taken, some sight seen, something in the past. Next time you read an article try to discover what had happened that made the writer want to write about it. Commonly it involves a personal experience. Some writers go on about a life changing event that happened to them, while other writers write about a small experience that made a world of difference.

The greatest writers can take any experience and write something worth reading about it.

And here we are. I have just taken the annoyingly disturbing occurrence of Clover digging her nails into my legs after a failed attempt at jumping on my lap, and created something worthy for writers to read. What does all of this have to show you?

A Non-Stop Writers Attitude

Here are reasons to appreciate all disturbances while you are writing.

1 It forces you (the writer) to re-read the last one or two sentences you wrote, thus focusing in on making sure you are writing in the direction you want

2 Allowing your brain to get out of the writing frequency for a moment or two, you now re-surged it with power and most likely PREVENTED a writer’s block period from occurring

3 You have just been universally sparked with a new memory to work into your writing

4 Which is more important? Continuing an idea that you have COMPLETE CONTROL over  in your writing and that you can go back to anytime OR giving someone else the satisfaction of your attention? (Most often, when you don’t give someone what they want – your attention – you are going to piss them off and it’s just going to spoil your day, am I right?)

If you are in or going into the lifestyle of writing, you need to have a Non-Stop Writers Attitude.

For a true writer, there are never interruptions, there are never periods that you are not writing and there are certainly never other things that deserve your focus more than the paper or document your writing or typing on. To become a truly successful writer you need to have the mind-set of the above principles, understand them, and implement them at every opportunity. (As a Writer, that is always)

Stay Positive and Mind-Void Interruptions, Rather than Avoid

Garth E. Beyer

How To Become 3+ Billion Times More Connected, Successful, and Happy

Garth Beyer

If I asked you who taught you to speak English, you would say your parents.

If I asked you who taught you how to think, you would say your parents.

Am I wrong when I say that people who teach you language, teach you how to think?

 

I doubt the educational system realizes the greatness they are producing by requiring the youth to take language classes. I even more so doubt that YOU realize the greatness.

  • Learning a different language than your native tongue opens your mind to the possibilities of exploring the world.
  • Hearing a language makes you feel connected with the world even in your home town.
  • I love Improv, so knowing another language allows me to really work new personalities and different cultures into an Improv show. I can imitate Hitler in a humorous way, I can reenact the German language parts of movies, I can create any type of German person I want, all because I learned another language.
  • With another language, you rarely learn negative vocabulary, so you do not know how to produce negative feelings – Stay Positive
  • As a more fun reason to learn another language, you get to become someone else. You have just opened another path that you can walk while you walk your current path. A double life of excellence. You can make up a common German or Italian name (Mine is Gregor, in German).

While language gives you a new way of thinking by having you analyze, articulate, write, and explore a certain language, it does something far greater for you.

On the base level, you open your mind to growth, the more you understand about language, the more you can comprehend about life. Yet there is something even greater… not only does it expand your mind for greater understanding, but it expands it to “Not understand” — Not understand why so many people limit themselves in their learning. It compels you to “not understand” why people can think they can be one of the most successful people on the planet without being able to talk and understand the lifestyles of people on the other side of the planet. The reason I am writing this post is because I do not understand why anyone is content with knowing one language. Language allows you to connect.

If you talk to a woman in a language she understands, that goes to her head.
If you talk to her in her language, that goes to her heart.

Which person do you think learns more and is more successful? The person who only knows english and can only connect with less than 3 billion people? Or the person who knows two, three, four, five languages that can connect with 6+ billion people. Twice as many as the single language speaker. The ability to speak and connect with 1 billion more people than you can now, would dramatically improve your life. Traveling would not be a dream, it would become a reality. Job opportunities would open across the globe. You would be exposed to millions of more women and men to find your true love. (Maybe you wont find someone in a foreign territory, but when you find one near your home place, you can serenade her with the language you now know!)

A Manual Aptitude For An Einstein

With language, you are not only open to connecting with billions of people, but also billions of books and information. With a better understanding of the world and the endless amount of knowledge it provides, you can become a genius.

Language is the archives of history. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

In the world of learning a language and how to think, it does not matter what “success” is to you. The fact is, that no matter what success means to you, learning another language will get you there 3+ billion times faster with 3+ billion times greater of an experience, a journey.

Learning a language is like being born again. You are now able to make all the decisions you made in your native language. But this time, you can make the right ones.

 

Stay Positive, and 3+ Billion Times More Positive Than Before

Garth  E. Beyer – Like Confucius, “In his speech, he wishes to be sincere”

Traceurs Are Not The Only Ones To Acquire Calluses

Garth Beyer

Callus: An especially toughened area of skin which has become relatively thick and hard in response to repeated friction or pressure,

While there is only one definition of Calluses, there are multiple forms of Calluses and of all the forms, they can be  summarized into two categories: The Good and The Bad.

The Bad

When things do not go the way we want, we often consider it a failure. With repetition, this will cause friction and eventually we will quit expecting great things for ourselves and no longer take any risks. We build a resistant callus of comfort toward the world. In addition to these mental calluses, we often form emotional calluses. We become tougher on others, sometimes so much that it produces more of a negative outcome than a positive one. Even in relationships, we may form calluses that prevent us from getting close to others again. In summary, when bad experiences begin to add up, the calluses formed in our minds and hearts become thickened. The real question to ask is are we really protecting ourselves from more bad than we would expose ourselves to greatness by becoming vulnerable?

The Good

“What doesn’t kill us, makes us stronger”, “Failures are stepping stones to success”, “Being strong does not mean avoiding the truth. It means accepting it, learning about it, and dealing with it head on.” I could spend days listing all the famous quotes and sayings about strength. What it breaks down to is the strongest of individuals build calluses around their failures and their weakest points. Whenever they are exposed to one of their faults, they allow a callus to grow in its place. Instead of growing calluses that prevent us from failure, it’s a positive behavior to grow calluses where their was a failure.

With enough failures, there will be no limitations.

On a handout titled “What To expect At A Wisconsin Parkour Class” the following was written..

“There is a saying in Parkour, that ‘Our fitness is our armor.’ This is the rationale behind our safe, incremental progressions, and also behind why we don’t wear gloves for training. We climb and crawl on concrete, railings, cement, gravel, and other urban and natural surfaces. As such, your hands will likely experience small cuts/scrapes, blistering, and some discomfort during class. Over time these will toughen up and will provide ‘natural gloves’ to protect your hands while doing Parkour. Many new students are surprised to truly feel concrete on their hands the first few times they train, and are also surprised at how quickly the discomfort goes away with regular practice.”

The Great

Isn’t the last line the absolute greatest? “and are also surprised at how quickly the discomfort goes away with regular practice“. Parkour remains a constant reminder to me that in order for me to grow where I am weak, to repair where I have faltered, I must continuously practice my behaviors in order to strengthen them – to acquire positive calluses. I look at it as this, whatever hell you come out of, whatever scrapes and scars you leave with – you will always become twice as strong. So who’s up for round 2?

Stay Positive and Acclimate To Your Strength

Garth E. Beyer

Out-Of-The-Box Relationship Bonding Activities

Garth Beyer

If you are reading this, then you know how important it is to have activities to do with your life partner. “Bonding now, is what makes you bound for life.” I suggest reading that  every day otherwise you won’t have a very long relationship. No relationship should be held together by going to the movies once a week or having a date night every Saturday. Relationships need to have constant activities or ones that last for a longer duration than a day.

Other than the general benefits to participating in bonding strategies, here are 6.5 benefits you may not have captured.

1 It becomes a filler for those moments when there is nothing else to talk about

2 It feeds the relationship a constant positive energy that prevents fights from occurring

3 It produces an “inner”-bonding form rather than an outer

4 It provides a constant stream of memories that are much less forgotten than “that one movie we saw two years ago”

5 It serenades the primary-self out and holds the disowned-self back  – More on this at Understanding Relationships

6 It is far greater for your psychological health than you already know

6.5 It increases not only the quality of your life and relationship, but also your longevity

Affection is responsible for nine-tenths of whatever solid and durable happiness there is in our lives. – C.S. Lewis

And when is the most affection shown? When there are bonding experiences taking place. Something funny I came across while I was researching for this post was that I had to go through dozens of articles about the importance of bonding with your newborns and the importance of touch, communication and constant attention. At first I ignored it but then I thought I could use it as an analogy. — No matter how mature and long a relationship has been, it must be treated as a baby. You have to rock it to sleep every night, you have to feed it and clean up its messes, you have to set it as your top priority and keep it there, and you have to constantly play with it and make it entertaining.

Now, for you, here are the Out-Of-The-Box relationship bonding activities for you and your love to do together.

  • Print out a map of the U.S that only shows the states. Now, when driving to places together, keep an eye out for state license plates and highlight each state which license plate you have seen. (I have seen 39 out of all the states) If you can, throw in the Canadian Provinces too! Now this is something you can do every time you are out together and it offers a burst of excitement each time one of you see it. It also encourages the two of you to travel! Note: Both must see it together. This will keep the other from sleeping during the road trip or it will give you a reason to wake the other up. – I’m experienced with this.
  • Each of you choose a relatively short book you want to read. Give it to the other and have them read it. Instead of designating a certain time each week to sit down like a book club, just share what you have learned and what the other might have wanted to known about the book you are reading. Be their brain and get involved in their interests. Both need to take part to make it work.
  • A picture a day will make it okay when nostalgia comes your way. I have experienced, as well as heard others talk about their feelings when nostalgia hits in the relationship. After a duration of time, one’s memory can only collect the most special moments of the beginning of the relationship. I encourage you to take a picture of your partner each day so that you can see how they change and it helps with remembering the smaller moments. It does not have to be a professional picture, just snap a picture and keep it in a file on your computer. Do it even if your love doesn’t want you to, they will eventually just go with it. They don’t have a choice and they will understand why you did what you did when you show them two years from now.
  • The note. Have a long piece of paper that you tape up to a cabinet or the fridge for you and your partner to write on each morning. Whoever wakes up first, writes in it first. Let it be the first thing you do in the morning to start the relationship off on a positive note. The second person will write a response and compliment the other on what they love about them. Keep them short, to the point and sweeter than chocolate. Once a week you should have to replace the paper and start fresh. Keep this up and make it a ritual. Save the pages, they are perfect remedies to nurture each other after a fight.
  • The above is primarily focused on the gratitude of each other, but now it’s time to be grateful for something in your life unrelated to the relationship. Each day make it a goal to share with each other one thing you are grateful for that day. It can be having a powerful vacuum, Starbucks, comfy pants, caring parents, food in the fridge – anything. Let it come to you as the day goes on, catch yourself thinking “Wow I’m happy for this” and share it with your partner. If it doesn’t happen during the day, search for the one grateful thing before sleep and tell your partner. I am sure you have heard that you can’t love another until you learn to love yourself. The same goes with gratitude. You cannot be truly grateful for the actions your partner takes to improve the relationship if you can’t first be grateful for the positive occurrences in your daily life. Not only will this boost your individual optimistic energy, but you are now connecting and sharing that energy with your loved one.
  • Lastly, be weird. This one truly is out-of-the-box. In every relationship one forgets how they acquired the attention of the other in the beginning. Generally, the lady loved the man’s humor. But as the relationship extends, men become less humorous. We get comfortable and forget that we have to constantly “keep the baby entertained”. Be weird, be crazy, be different and make your life partner laugh. If you don’t do any of the other bonding activities, do this and do it constantly.

Have you heard of the magic relationship ratio of 5:1?

Bonding is central to relationship success. Let these activities be your strategy to maintain the strength of your union. You now have your constant 5 positive daily interactions (Plus One For Continuous Improvement), the rest is up to you.

Stay Positive and Well, Stay Positive With Your Ratio Too

Garth E. Beyer