The price you pay in a relationship that grows stronger and stronger is that you become more vulnerable. Both in the sense of getting hurt and of hurting the other emotionally. Before a relationship deepens you are extremely sweet and kind. When you do say something mean or rude it is said and taken as a joke. You end up having a silly argument together out of it for fun.
But once deep into a relationship, jokes get taken seriously, even though there is no way in heaven that you would ever mean it. What was once perceived as helping the other out is now taken as criticism. In addition there is less patience, the other will be more inclined to snap at you when aggravated and it becomes more difficult to help the aggravated other feel unstressed.
More attitude is given and when aggravated, the emotion is directed at you and there is nothing you can do.
A simple example is that in the beginning my relationship I could tell that her hair looked like a hurricane had struck recently. We would have laughed and carried on with the day. I might slip in another joke in about her hair after we ran in gym class. Now that we are nearly two years into our relationship, I can’t joke about her hair. She will pout and run off to fix it rather than laughing about it and possibly extending the joke herself.
The answer to solve all of this… is to be figured out.
Is there no cure for it? Is the fact that you are in a deep relationship mean that you are more credible for everything you say, that every word that comes out of your mouth is taken in the most honest and whole-hearted-whole-minded way? Then whose fault is it one when gets hurt? Is it the person who says something as a joke? Or the person who takes the joke seriously and reacts as if they really meant it?
Stay Positive and More Sincere As Your Relationship Strengthens
Garth E. Beyer
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