Memories

In The Box Podcast

Episode 28: Team Trouble, Leadership, Memory And More – Podcast

Garth Beyer

On this episode of In The Box Podcast, we talked about the point of reflecting on memories, how to address a team member who is doing something that bothers you, leaders playing bad cop, what one makes art special and knowing the best timing for a decision.

Enjoy the episode and remember to download on iTunes here.

Episode 28: Team Trouble, Leadership, Memory And More

Memory – How much emphasis do you place on reflecting on memories from the past?

Team – One trick to addressing a team member / co worker who is doing something that bothers you?

Leadership – Do you think leaders ought to ever play bad cop?

Art – What is one thing that makes something art?

Bonus – One method to recognize when the timing is right for making an important decision?

 

Stay Positive & Now Now Now

A Lot About Women And Love

Garth Beyer

Yes, it’s that kind of post. A trend I see with famous writers and thinkers is that their thoughts on love, women, and relationships never get brought to light until they are dead. (The people themselves, not their relationships. Well, those too I suppose)

Note: This post is not going to be the typical inverted pyramid style. The small stuff will grow into the deep stuff. Ready?

 

“Ethics is just a word made up by women” – Co-worker I’m starting to keep notes of all the one liners he says. Maybe I’ll write a book from them someday.

 

Beauty: When you first meet, you either see it right away or she slowly opens your eyes to it. The way in which it happens is not the matter. The matter is that every woman, once their beauty is seen by another, must perform upkeep. While she may think her beauty lies in makeup and moisturizer, it really is a result of the relationships she maintains with another. Once severed, she does not become ugly, hideous, grotesque. Her beauty disappears, becomes void, incoherent. When it comes to a woman’s beauty, it is there or it is not, nothing replaces it. Beauty is impermanent.

 

A woman who loves knows everything, a woman who doesn’t is clueless to everything, including herself.

 

I get a hard time, mainly from myself, about not finishing puzzles. I always match two pieces and call it finished. My views on life and puzzles is that there can be 500 pieces or more than 7 billion pieces, but all it takes is two that connect to make it worth it.

 

I made you responsible for my happiness, not only that. I made it hard for you. I lost myself. I forgot I create my own happiness and that is what makes you most happy and vice verse. Being there, sharing experiences, giving support, having fun, that is a relationship, that is love. I respect our differences in our way of living and dreaming and I’m loving the process of growing into everything love means.” – an excerpt from the journal of a guy whose relationship ended three days later.

 

If your arm is not around her when you introduce her to anyone, it’s unlikely love.

 

When it comes to love, always dream more than you can. The tragedy of a perfect relationship is that once success is met, it doesn’t matter. Once you are living with your partner, are financially sound, are entertaining each other on a regular basis, once you feel that it’s perfect, none of it matters. You got to where you wanted to go and once you do that, you decline, everyone does. (Aside from those who feel stuck, which is a fair amount, but being stuck is just another type of decline). So dream HUGE about the relationship you will nurture, make it an impossible goal; when you tell someone your plans, they better be in disbelief, they better tell you it’s impossible, they better expect you to fail. You better fail! The point isn’t to succeed, it’s to have a goal of a successful relationship so high that you will never reach it. But you will try because that is how love manifests.

 

The best memories hurt the most.

 

The Impermanence of Love

“What is a plan?”

“Gods have a plan

but animals don’t”

“What happens when a God has a plan and animals don’t?”

“It’s magnificent – the love that wont happen ’til the God ceases to be.

See – you can pray for love, but it doesn’t change a thing”

“What does the animal see”

“Nothing…

Nothing changes, only deteriorates

and that’s not change, change is too late”

“What is change?”

“Do you know of sacrifice? it is very strange,

It is when you want to give up a piece of your heart

to gain a piece of life with another.

Change succeeds sacrifice”

“Do you think me a God or animal?”

“Neither.

I’ve been a God

and done as an animal – sacrificed everything for another.

I once thought as you may,

that you become more of what you sacrifice. –

It is not true.”

“What are you?”

“Non-existent.”

 

Humans are passionate, but inconsistent.

 

A stable relationship can be judged as such when there is a balance between the number of times you open the car door for your lady and the number of times that you let her do it herself.

 

Never say to a woman that you are letting her do something. It can even be in the most considerate way such as, “I’m letting you have your space.” Think about it. Really think about it right now because every woman reading this is smiling in agreement at the truth of this. Never say you are letting them.

 

When people are using their phones and iPods, are they unavailable? I’d say the iPod is the new promise ring. You may hit on someone that’s wearing a ring, but you don’t say a word to someone with their ear buds in. Is this what the world has come to?

 

Why I don’t approve of homosexuality with women: Quite plainly, they decrease the chance of a guy finding the girl of his dreams. When a girl is lesbian, that is one less girl in the world the guy has a chance with. The world is hard enough for men to find a good woman, and now they go off and enter relationships with other women leaving the guy less of a chance.

Now you may think, well, why doesn’t the guy become gay as well? Don’t the gay guys balance out the gay girls?

Why I don’t approve of homosexuality with men: Most gay guys aren’t just gay, they are super gay, and can you guess who likes super gay guys (beside other gay guys?) Girls. And not just any girls, typically the gorgeous ones. They cling to their gay boys like their prized possession and protector. Gay guys make it so girls don’t feel the need to have a real man and that decreases a guys chances even further to finding the right girl.

 

Life is so much about competition as it is, and of course, Love, the only reason worth living, is the toughest competition of all.

 

Why is it only girls that we see often can we have a chance with? Why is society built so that if I see someone I can’t just introduce myself and see if we have anything in common? We make love so difficult. My imaginary world would be a place in which you can go and talk to any girl and it’s normal. If that was the case, there still isn’t a promise you would find love quicker. The chances of finding someone that you spark something with right away is somewhere around 2% I would imagine. Although, you would make more friends but more friends doesn’t make it more likely to turn a friendship into a relationship because you know that there are so many other girls out there you can talk to and hopefully spark something with right away. So, this general acceptance in society to make starting conversations with strangers doesn’t really make finding love easier, it simply makes finding love more of an experience. What do you think?

 

Stay Positive & Heck, In Love You’re Doomed, But Best To Make Your Journey To Damnation As Near To Cloud Nine As Possible

Garth E. Beyer

Train Wrecks, Finding Yourself & Life

Garth Beyer

Life can be really freaking incredible.

Life is made up of a trillion train tracks and it’s all about finding your train, or the one that best suits you – after all, most people don’t find themselves, they find something safe to settle with – and then they just go right along. It’s a ride and they certainly don’t conduct it.

Then people wait, they wait for a train wreck that forces them to go back out and search for their train. Some try and repair the one they were on, others take the closest one to the wreckage, a few never get on a train again, and -what I have never believed until recently- rarely, very rarely a train actually comes to you.

Bare with me as I carry on the analogy…

It’s as if the train already had you on it, and it was searching for your body. Your body never knew because it was riding a train, a safe train, with little fear and a lot of false security. (Clearly it was false security because you just got in a train wreck!)

So. Very rarely in life, a train finds you and you forget about the train wreck because it never really happened. It may be a memory but that memory is not part of who you were because you were never there [remember, your “self” has always been on another train]

The most fascinating part about when you find yourself, or rather, when your self finds you, you don’t just get aboard.

You climb, you jump, you cuddle atop it, you make an imprint on it, you slip but don’t fall, it’s not a memory, it’s life.

And at that moment, when you reconnect with life -whether it’s alone or with someone else- you forget about your train wreck. As a reader, you forgot that this was all based on a train wreck, you were simply rolling with it. (Pardon the pun)

Having just been through one, I know you forgot it was based on a train wreck for two reasons.

1. (Obviously) Train wrecks suck. They crunch, they hurt, they burn, they crumble, they are painful. Who wants to focus on that? Who wants to invite a train wreck into their life for the possibility of finding themselves when they are already so comfortable, so safe.

2. (Not at all obvious and hard to agree with) What I just described that happens after a train wreck is exciting, it’s wonderful, it’s life. For most, it’s a dream and who doesn’t love a dream, especially one this great? So great that you keep it a dream, you ignore the fact I told you exactly how you can have it. That’s how you have gotten through all of your other troubles, you focused on dreams and they took your mind off it.

Your life is good, it’s average, it’s mediocre, it’s safe, and you’re okay with that. The dreams you have while on the train you are on now, are great. They are stimulating, an adventure, amazing and you’re okay with them staying so because they make you forget about your troubles, the dreams give you enough power to bear with the troubles.

But you can’t be okay with that, no one deserves to live like that. You have to wonder what sort of dreams you can have once you develop your own train wreck and find your self or at least lose the illusion you have long believed to be your self. The dreams you are having now are little, weak, and I will even say they are unworthy because you can dream so much larger.

Because you took that train wreck, made the most of it, and found your self, you are able to dream bigger, stronger, more powerful dreams. But you don’t need another train wreck to get those either. The train you found your self on takes you there because you’re finally the conductor, you are yourself, uncaring about safety, mediocrity, security or having things just be okay.

 

Stay Positive & To Find Your Self, Wreck A Thousand Times If You Have To

(you’ll likely end up loving trains a lot more than you do now. I sure do.)

Garth E. Beyer

 

 

You’ll Never Reach Success By Being Careful

Garth Beyer
My option for being careful was either to keep a distance and eat raw chicken or put it close and deal with a few burnt parts.

 

A lot of things can happen when you aren’t being careful.

Juice getting spilled on the counter. The cereal bag being ripped down the sides. You curbed the car making that turn. You got pranked with gum that tastes like pepper. The screw was dropped down the drain. You accidentally spelled “duck” wrong in your term paper. And so much more.

Actually, there are so many more things that can happen when you aren’t careful that I just have to continue…

You managed to standout at the board meeting. The reward, the gift, the acknowledgment came to you. You got inspired. A memory that you will always look back on and cherish was created. You got lost and found a new restaurant. You took a risk… and succeeded.

Those who achieve their goals, who make something of their lives, who are “successful” are no more careful than you and I. Actually, they are less careful.

They understand that the more they fit everything into a schedule, the more they are patient and careful with every social interaction, every small contract and every gift, the less creative and energized they are. Less potential is unleashed this way.

In being obsessively careful, you are preventing miracles from happening, putting a stop to unexpected delights and memorable surprises to occur. In being careful you are saying to the world and everyone around you that you want to play it safe, that you don’t want any turbulence and above all that you don’t want to make any risks, even if taking a risk meant succeeding.

 

Stay Positive & Think Twice Next Time You Tell Someone To Be Careful

Garth E. Beyer