I’ve been a long time believer in the adage that you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.
There’s definitely a bit of truth to it, but the adage neglects one important factor: what you aim to get out of each relationship.
If the goal of any solid relationship is for it to be a win-win (and it should), then the mindset you have about it matters more than the person with whom you have the relationship.
My daughter is 1.5 years old. I spend a lot of time with her. If you factor her into that equation of me being the average of the five people I spend the most time with, then she’s definitely dragging me down. She can’t even use a fork properly.
Of course, how to use utensils isn’t what I aim to get out of our relationship. I want to feel fulfilled with a hug at the end of the day or the satisfaction of learning to be a better teacher or how to grow my own skill of curiosity. In that regard, she elevates my life.
So, yes. We’re the average of the five people we spend the most time with, but the way we view the relationship carries a lot of the weight in regard to their impact on us.
Perhaps you have a coworker that you currently can’t stand, but you spend a great deal of time with them. By the adage, they’re dragging your average down. Unless, of course, you change your perspective and what you want out of the relationship with them.
“I’m going to learn what not to do from this person,” is a whole lot more impactful than “I can’t stand that person.”
When you can choose who is in your circle, choose wisely. When you have little say in the matter, your next best choice is determining what you can get out of the relationship.
Stay Positive & You Choose To Win
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