Dr. Margee Kerr is the staff sociologist at ScareHouse, whose website I don’t even like being on. In a brilliant article over the The Atlantic, I read her saying, “To really enjoy a scary situation, we have to know we’re in a safe environment.”
There’s an insurmountable truth to that.
With that, I must ask, is standing up on a stage to give a three-minute speech any worse than running through a 30 minute haunted house? Is asking that girl you think is cute for her number scarier than being chased by a blood soaked 6’4″ man carrying a chain saw?
When you’re afraid to follow through with something, I’m unapologetically admitting that it is because of you, not because the audience or those around you are making you feel unsafe. How could an audience that is just sitting there make you feel unsafe public speaking? How could a girl just doing her homework listening to music make you literally fear for your life?
There might be a scientific answer behind these questions, but I believe it is more of a subconscious inaction of realizing the state of fear that you’re in. Very few walk up on stage and after acknowledging that they are afraid, ask why.
On the flip side, let’s jump to a good explanation of why people are the first to raise their hands and face their fears.
“Lots of people also enjoy scary situations because it leaves them with a sense of confidence after it’s over,” said Kerr.
Just as Kerr has seen someone scream and jump and then immediately starts laughing and smiling, I have seen hundreds of people trembling, get up, give a speech and walk off the stage smiling and looking forward to doing it again. When asked if they are afraid to give another speech, the answer is “yes.”
It’s not just about public speaking either. It’s making that phone call you’re afraid to make, it’s putting your art out there for everyone to see when you’re afraid of the feedback, it’s sending in that letter, fearing you will get rejected. Those who do are what a call Confidence Builders. Those who do are no more afraid than you.
Stay Positive & Become A Confidence Builder
Garth E. Beyer
Photo credit Manipulation done by me
