Criticism

Fuel To Your Flame

Fuel To Your Flame

Garth Beyer

Imagine if you had the control to throw anything you wanted into a fire and it would burn.

A rock. Water. Cat litter. All fuel for the fire.

The fire in your belly, the passion you have, the mindset you’re igniting is a lot like the world I just asked you to imagine.

You have the choice to accept criticism as fuel to your flame. “Who is even going to listen to you two talk [on your podcast]?” was the most recent comment I’ve gotten. (The answer is probably no one, but I’m not letting that stop me from producing the show. Maybe you can help prove her wrong in March when Michael and I launch In The Box podcast. Anyway, back on point…)

You can craft the belief Walter Bagehot had: the greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do. I take people’s doubt and let it drive me not just to prove them wrong, but to prove myself right. It works for the most part.

You can turn what the trolls say (including the troll inside your head) and use it as fuel to work smarter, try harder, and prove you can do what others (and sometimes yourself) don’t believe you can do.

It’s an option, of course. It’s on you to decide how you take things. Will you take them personally? Or as fuel to your flame?

 

Stay Positive & Onward, Light’em Up

Variant Feedback For Effective Communication

Garth Beyer

Martin Luther

Martin Luther revolutionized German culture and made a dent in standardizing their language. He would travel and read his translation of the Bible into the vernacular and ask each audience that listened, “How did this sound? Was it too banal? Was it strong? Did it sound good?”

He rewrote and rewrote and continued reading aloud until he got “yes” as a response from everyone from the baker to the welder to the merchant. His writing was a variant of German, intelligible to both northern and southern Germans, his target market solely because he had his system of feedback, he listened, he rewrote.

Note, Luther didn’t change the message of his writing, he merely changed the wording to effectively communicate the message he wanted. (He did get in some heat for adding some words when he shouldn’t have. Remember, this is a translation of the Bible, not much room for creativity.)

Even if I knew that tomorrow the world would go to pieces, I would still plant my apple tree. – Martin Luther

Who was Luther and why does he deserve this blog post? He was a constant seeker and recipient of feedback. He didn’t take criticism personally. He ignored the naysayers. If some commoner expressed a dissatisfaction with his words, Luther didn’t begin to question whether he himself was right or wrong, he merely wondered what he could do better to communicate his beliefs.

Now-a-days I see people quit, toss their business plans, and remove their books from Amazon because their message didn’t resonate with whom they thought it would. I witness speakers decide not to speak in front of an audience again because their first audience wasn’t convinced by their message. I miss out on seeing a starting blogger become influential because they stop blogging. Why continue if no one is reading, right?

Wrong.

By doing what Luther did and sharing our ideas, our blog posts, our podcasts, our business plans, our art, we have the opportunity (I mean, come on, there are more than seven billion connected people on this planet) to check whether our way of communicating is effective for the audience we’re reaching for. Why are we not doing this more often?

Why are we limiting ourselves to mastermind groups, to people who already think like us, to our idols or our best friends when it comes to seeking feedback and tweaking the way we communicate? Certainly I’m not suggesting reaching out to all seven billion people, but the group you’re now letting influence your communications can increase in size and as a result your words, your art, your message can get stronger.

 

Stay Positive & Send Something My Way, I’ll Give Some Feedback thegarthbox@gmail.com

* Worth a read: The social Origins of Good ideas. Essentially the best ideas come from outside communities, just as often as the best feedback.

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Unlocking Potential #12: Q&A With Mariah Haberman

Garth Beyer

Mariah Haberman EAA

Welcome back to another Q&A with a remarkable marketer as part of the Unlocking Potential series. I heard about a woman named Mariah Haberman when I first moved to Madison, I found out she worked at the PR agency I hope to work at, and then I got to see her speak not too long ago. (Post about impressions and link to her presentation here.)

Mariah has drive, excitement, and more passion that I thought one person could have. It will be clear as you read on. Without further ado, welcome Mariah.

Q: What motivates you to get out of your bed in the morning?

Mariah: Caffeine! And lots of it! I am so not a morning person so the fact that I make it into work before 10 a.m. is a miracle in itself. That said, I can honestly say I have never dreaded a day of work. Getting to discover Wisconsin is a cool gig but I think working alongside amazing and talented people is just the best thing ever. (Also: Free Sprecher root beer :D)

Q: What business would you say you’re in and how did you get there? What’s your story?

Mariah: I have a weird hybrid role: I’m both a television/radio host and a PR and social media marketer.

I always dreamt of working in television. In fact, I can recall writing my sixth grade career report for Mrs. Herbers about my aspirations of becoming a news anchor. In college though, I threw those dreams out the window after coming to the conclusion that a television career in Wisconsin during a recession was a ridiculous dream to have.

So I picked public relations. And upon graduating from UW-Oshkosh, I threw a few suitcases in my tiny ’02 Corolla and with my shiny, new diploma in tow, I made the trek to Chicago. There, I worked as a temporary assistant at an entertainment PR firm. Next, I decided to freelance back in the Madison area and then I worked at a wonderful marketing agency in town.

Meanwhile, I spent three years competing for the title of Miss Wisconsin. That endeavor really reignited my desire to pursue television. So, I reached out to the one contact I had at Discover Mediaworks and asked if, by any chance, they’d ever consider letting me guest host an episode or two. After several months of back-and-forth, the crew finally invited me to come in for an interview and audition. Apparently, they saw something in me, and the rest, as they say, is history!

Q: What are four life lessons you’ve learned from following your muse?

1) Make things happen for you.

2) Be nice to people.

3) Own up when you’ve messed up.

4) Never take yourself or your work too seriously.

Q: You’re constantly putting yourself out there. How have you dealt with fear – be it of rejection or failure or even success?

Mariah: I hate to quote the most buzzed about kid flick of all time, but when it comes to being in front of crowds, you really have to just let it go. I’ll get nervous from time to time during the preparation of a big shoot or speaking engagement, but once I am on stage, or those cameras are rolling, I don’t even let myself go to that place of self-doubt. You’ve really gotta own it and believe in yourself, and when you make mistakes, you assess and move on.

So much of the television business I think is listening to your own gut. You are going to get people who absolutely adore you and your work. And the opposite of those people are Internet trolls :). I take it all with a grain of salt—both the compliments and the critiques.

Q: What do you do to continue growing in your field? Are there a few special practices or habits you think people reading may benefit from doing too?

Mariah: The idea of being stagnant or out of the loop as both a host and marketer downright scares me. I am constantly trying to learn and get better at my craft whether it be through improv classes or online marketing research—you name it. Regardless of how long you’ve been in the biz, learning is essential.

The beauty of working in the agency world is that you’re surrounded by folks who specialize in all sorts of things that you may not necessarily be an expert in. But making an effort to understand their work inherently makes you better at your own.

Q: What has been a major highlight of your work?

Mariah: A viewer reached out to me on Facebook the other day to tell me that he and his daughter make it a weekly tradition to sit down every Saturday morning and watch Discover Wisconsin together. Hearing things like that – from people who make our show a part of their lives – is the kind of stuff that sticks with me.

Q: What is one characteristic you’ve noticed every successful marketer has? Better yet, what the heck does it take to become a remarkable PR pro or marketer?

Mariah: Great marketers want to learn; they are asking questions. They are paying attention not only to what other brands are doing out there, but more importantly, they’re noticing what people care about, why they do the things they do, buy the things they buy, and hang out with the people they hang out with. I think a marketer has to be easily fascinated by and curious about the world around him or her—and I’d say the same thing applies to great TV/radio hosts.

When you understand why people do the things they do, the ideations, strategizing and executing for brands comes a whole heck of a lot more naturally. (It’s still a tough gig, don’t get me wrong!)

Q: Would you tell us about a time you almost gave up and what you did instead?

Mariah: Interestingly enough, I actually have to tell myself to let go of things more often. (Noticing a theme here?) I get invested too easily. I love to dream big and I think the upshot of dreaming big is that you tend to bite off more than you can chew. So while “giving up” often has a negative connotation, I really have to continue to remind myself the importance of walking away from the stuff I can’t or shouldn’t fix.

Q: How do you try to live your life? Do you have a life motto or a particular quote you stand by?

Mariah: Nah. No life quotes really. I just try to live life to the fullest…you know, find the silver lining in even the crappiest of days!

Q: What is a dream you have or a project you want to create that you haven’t had the time for?

Mariah: Sooooo many. I want to write my own book(s). Open a wine bar. Learn French. And piano. And how to cook (better). And more time for travel would be lovely!

Q: Where can people find you and your work? (Shameless self-promotion here!)

Mariah: Why, you can watch “my work” every weekend on your TV screens (or laptops or tablets or smartphones)! Broadcast guide here: www.bobber.discoverwisconsin.com/broadcast …and because social media is my thang, I’m pretty easy to find on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram 🙂

 

Stay Positive & Curiously Alive

How To Get Comments On Your Blog

Garth Beyer

It's Time To Get Comments On Your Blog

This goes beyond asking at the end of the post for users to comment.

There are benefits to not allowing comments on your blog: no criticism, no trolls, one less things to keep an eye one, you may become influenced by what people say they want in a comment.

But there are also benefits to allowing them: there is often a diamond in the rough (positive feedback), it gives you a chance to connect with someone new, it allows you to practice not taking criticism personally.

Instead of asking readers to post a comment without reason, there are a few better options.

It matters what platform you use: If you’re gung-ho about getting comments on your blog post, you might be better off using a platform like LinkedIn. It’s much easier to put yourself in a community platform that has active commenters rather than starting a blog from scratch and trying to get comments. Think Reddit, Medium, LinkedIn.

Use your voice: I mean, really use your own voice, make each post you write personal. By doing so you are likelier to get friends and family and coworkers and colleagues to hit the comment button because they respond to you as a person, not as some robot spitting out information.

Make blog posts completely question based: Mental Floss does this in a great way with their Friday Happy Hour. This way it is less about you trying to interact with someone and more about getting your tribe to interact with one another.

I’m thinking of a number between 1 and 30. Guess it right and I’ll send a free PDF version of my book Transformation: The seminar that saved me from myself. Leave your guess in a comment below or tweet at me @thegarthbox

 

Stay Positive & Go Curate Some Conversations

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4 Steps To Success (Wisdom From Cambodian Monks)

4 Steps To Success (Wisdom From Cambodian Monks)

Garth Beyer

Steve Jobs Meditation

While in Cambodia at the POP House (meditation resort) a handful of monks taught me a lot about buddhism, life, and success. After a 20 minute meditation session, one monk began to tell us the four steps to success in life. Now I’m sharing them with you.

1) Affection – Show affection to your friends, to your enemies, to strangers. Find ways to show your love of people, of plants, of the world, of life. Care, not only about others, but your self as well.

2) Try – The likelihood of success is connected to the amount of experience you have. The more you try, the more successful you will be. Not only try things you’ve never tried before, but try things you don’t think you could overcome, don’t think you’ll complete, don’t think will change you. Just try.

3) Comment (on yourself) – You are your own judge of whether something worked or didn’t. You must evaluate your actions to confirm what you’ve done has moved you in the direction you want.  Criticism is pointless, especially when given to others. The monks were firm about concerning yourself only with yourself.

4) Experiment – Put things together that you’ve never imagined combining. Try new designs, interfaces, systems, plans, diets. Success is often the result of experimentations, not well-thought out intentions

Bonus: Be like Steve Jobs. Every monk that taught had told me about Steve Jobs and how he followed these four steps. And he meditated often if you didn’t know.

 

Stay Positive & Your Time Is Limited

Take The Time To Provide Feedback

Take The Time To Provide Feedback

Garth Beyer

You're Doing It Wrong (Feedback)

Feedback is one of the many practical, but often difficult practices of a leader, manager or the alike. It’s often ignored because it’s an uncomfortable practice to criticize someone’s work meaningfully; to provide legitimate advice that doesn’t pain the emotions of the one being critiqued.

To sit down with a person and carefully show them all that they’ve done wrong is not something anyone – whether  they are in a leadership role or not – looks forward to, which is why so many resort to sending an email instead. I plead you refrain from that method.

Providing in-person feedback is vitally important for the future success of those needing the critique. Not only do you both work through being uncomfortably vulnerable and leave having learned from mistakes, there’s also a behind-the-conscious interpretation of feedback on the receiver’s end.

By receiving feedback, they know they can keep improving, that you believe there’s more to them than what they’re showing, and it gives them something to strive for.

Consider this perspective: What are you telling them when you don’t provide feedback? When you don’t provide feedback, you communicate that you don’t think they can do better, that they can’t learn from their mistakes, that you don’t see them as capable of improvement. Is that how you want your employees, partners, friends to feel?

Feedback. Provide it.

 

Stay Positive & It’s Time Well Spent, It’s An Investment, It’s Worth It

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The Problem Isn’t That You Can’t Handle Criticism

Garth Beyer

Two hours of solid group brainstorming. A lot of bad ideas will be thrown in the air, but it’s your right and your privilege to throw as many ideas out there. Good ideas and “meh” ideas.

A friend of mine used to work at a PR agency that, during brainstorming sessions, would not let anyone leave the room until there were 70 ideas on the board. On top of that, even if their first idea was the perfect one and they knew it was, they still went to 70.

You’re a magnet. We all are when we pitch ideas. We attract the criticism and hold it with us while we shout out more ideas. The more ideas, the more criticism we hear, the heavier we feel. Finally, every magnet has its threshold and we can’t hold any more criticism. At that point, we shut up. At that point, we fail. Exhausted from holding so much criticism.

The problem isn’t that you can’t hold any more criticism. The problem is you’ve let it stop you from sharing more ideas. All the sudden you make the brainstorming session about you and not about brainstorming.

It’s two-fold. First, criticism gains weight when you take it personally. Then, second, as you take more criticism personally, you become subjective and blame yourself for poor ideas, for not moving the group forward in the right direction; you believe you’re holding the group back.

Actually, what holds the group back is your lack of more “meh” ideas.

The reason brainstorming groups work is when you share a bad idea, it saves everyone else from thinking of that same bad idea. It’s a game of trial-and-error. More specifically, it’s a game of removing all bad ideas until what you have left are the good ones. When you stop participating with your bad ideas, you’re not doing the group justice, you’re holding them back.

 

Stay Positive & If You’re Not Coming Up With Good Ideas Read This