Failure

Writing On The Wall

Garth Beyer

My friend Michelle inspired me to write this post.

When I was growing up, my first AIM (AOL instant messenger) username was Writing0nTh3WaLL. My favorite song was “The Writing On The Wall.” And oddly enough, I liked to write on walls. – Still do –

Today, I read a post of Michelle’s which said, “You may never see the writing on the wall.”

In NYC, there’s a thing called the Underbelly Project. It’s where you can find all the writing on the wall. But it’s a different kind of writing, the most passionate kind; the kind that those writing it knew it may not work.

When you wait and look for the writing on the wall you aren’t only playing it safe, you’re regressing.

With your art, nothing is certain even in your most certain moments. When you are waiting for the guarantee of success or failure, when you rehearse through every failure or success, when you try to  steady your hand before you take a whack at the nail, you’ll never follow through. Doing is about risking.

When you use the writing on the wall idiom, you’re also insinuating that there are people who don’t see it. (If everyone could see it, there would be no need for the idiom.)

Leave it to other people to see the writing on the wall.

 

Stay Positive & More People Are Wrong About The Writing On The Wall Than They Are Right

Garth E. Beyer

Missing Your Shot

Garth Beyer

There’s two variations.

The first is when you take the shot and you miss it.

The second is when you miss your chance to take the shot.

It seems that the world gives us a sin wave of a life with the first variation above the line and second, below. We smoothly transition from taking a shot and missing it to passing up the next shot we can take.

It’s painful to get rejected, turned down, thrown back, kicked around, or left behind. The feeling is terrible and as a result, we think we’re better off not taking the shot at all. But, let’s make this realization together. Knowing that you missed your chance to take the shot feels a thousand times worse than taking it and missing.

Maybe you don’t feel that way at first, another one bites the dust right? And plus, it’s easy to say that more opportunities will come your way, not taking your shot on this one is fine. The thing is … your reactions to each type of “missed shot” accumulates.

The more times you take a shot but miss, the more likely you’ll be to make it next time you take a shot. Eventually reaching success.

On the other hand, the more times you miss taking the shot, well, that’s it, that’s a lot of shots missed. You’re no closer to success. You haven’t learned anything. You lost. Lizard brain 1, you 0.

I’ll challenge you to keep track of all those shots you don’t take. When fear sits next to you, tells you to wait, tells you to be patient, or tells you that now just isn’t the right time, record it.

1 for the lizard brain 0 for you.

No matter your type of personality, no matter the situation, no matter your goals in life; when anyone sees that the lizard brain is up 5 to 0, that provides all the motivation to take the shot with the next opportunity. Sure, it’s a way to cheat the system, but, hey, it works. Trust me.

 

Stay Positive & Keeping Track Of Shots On Goal Can Make You Feel Pretty Good Too

Garth E. Beyer

Building Hearts, Success, And Your Life

Garth Beyer

The size of your heart is measured by the number of times it’s been broken and pieced back together, making it bigger, stronger, more capable of handling hardship.

Same goes for any type of power or success in life.

The level of it is based on the several times you have failed, lost, made a mistake, was wrong, didn’t finish, got beaten, been crushed, or got broken

and still got back up to do it again, inevitably better this time.

 

Stay Positive & Every Time You Pick Up Pieces, You Pick Up More Than What Were Broken

Garth E. Beyer

“It’s Too Hard To Learn”

Garth Beyer

In school you learn through memorization. In life you learn through experience.

In both though, life and school, everyone finds themselves muttering from time to time that “it’s just too hard to learn,” and so you don’t pursue it.

Everyone – even myself, who is advocating something important here – forgets that learning is about making mistakes, being wrong, asking stupid questions, and getting a “D”.

There is only one exception to this rule: when you say “it’s too hard to learn,” you are wrong and you learn nothing from it.

 

Let’s grow, learn, and progress in life together and someday we can laugh at the irony of being such a success from so many failures.

 

Stay Positive & Cheers To Those Who Will Go Straight For Attempting The Impossible

Garth E. Beyer

The Only Math I Will Ever Love

Garth Beyer

Is the multiplication of our failure rates.

Simply because it’s the quickest way to success. And as my Uncle Chuck has said, it also means you will have tried two, three, four times as hard. That’s an honorable trait to say you have.

 

Stay Positive & Never Give Up, Never Never Give Up

Garth E. Beyer

Unlocking Potential: Interview #6

Garth Beyer

People can hate on Twitter as much as they want, but the Twitterverse is where I met Clemens Rettich, a small business consultant. Having sent a few tweets back and forth with him, as well as contributed to his #smbfunchat where I learned a handful of tips that helped me jumpstart my passion in consulting, I could not think of a better person to participate in the sixth interview of my Unlocking Potential series.

Whether Clemens is aware of it (obviously now he will be), he was a great inspiration for me to learn more about what it takes to successfully run a business as I often studied from his website/blog which there is a link to at the end of this post. It is an honor to be the one to share with you a bit more about Clemens, his worldview, his operation for consulting and some of the most straightforward life lessons you will learn one way or another, by Clemens or by life.

Without further ado,

Q: Everyone can read your bio by clicking on your name, so let’s dive more into what you do. What is your passion? Do you have a daily routine?

I love the beauty of things done well, of things and processes beautifully designed and executed, of those points where art, business, science, or sport come together to create something magical. My passion is to have some role to play in making that happen. In particular I love to help it happen in small businesses, teams, and organizations.

My daily routine is only moderately routine. It happens many days, but not every day. I work with clients 4 days of the week. I take 3 days to recharge, create, reconnect, rest. My days start with brisk walks and fruit smoothies… making coffee for my wife and I to talk over. Then it is time for email, client conversations, travel, shopping, organizing life… I love cooking so that is my late-in-the day pause to shift out of work for a while before diving back in again for the evening. I work about 70 – 80 hours a week.

Q: What is the biggest decision you have had to make?

To act without fear. And it is a decision I have to make every morning. Like paying your dues, this is one that you never stop doing. Paying your dues is never a thing to think of in past tense. A life to be lived fully, has to be paid for handsomely. There is nothing wrong with being afraid. True fearlessness is just another form of stupidity. It is the choice to act on those fears that matters. And I have to make that decision each morning… and sometimes several times in the day. This conversation I am about to have, or this decision I need to make, or this action I have to take, scares the hell out of me. But it needs to be done. And that decision to act without fear is the biggest one I make.

Q: How do you tug your client’s imagination and motivation? What is the core of your professional relationship between them?

The core of my professional relationship with my clients is active listening. Listening until my bones ache. When I do presentations or keynotes, I tell people that if you aren’t exhausted after a day of communicating, you haven’t been listening hard enough. Listening to every word, every implied word, and every telling silence is exhausting. That I why I try to limit my day to 2 – 4 coaching conversations maximum, and only 4 days a week at that. I’m no good to anyone after more than 4 or 5 hours of conversation.

I evoke imagination and motivation by responding to what I hear with suggestions from outside my client’s frame of reference. Nothing new there. It is the old lateral thinking, disruptive creativity, non-linear connection of ideas that still works. Most of the time the best ideas are my clients’. They just can’t hear themselves say them. So I just tell them what they just said. And I use a gift I have had since childhood: I connect “unrelated” things easily. A client can be telling me of a financial challenge, and for some reason it makes me think of another client’s story about a motorcycle they just bought. Something in the intersection of the two things creates a fresh approach to reframe the question or problem. I can’t tell you how many times I have heard myself say “Your problem isn’t A, it’s B!” The answer wasn’t coming because the question was wrong.

There is nothing particularly unique or gifted about my mind. 90% of the time there is a great idea or breakthrough of some kind it’s not because I am smart or anything, it is simply because I have outsider status and have my client’s permission to speak my mind. There are few things more powerful than an outsider’s perception, when the currency between the insider and the outsider is complete honesty.

Q: Would you mind sharing one of your biggest failures?

I can’t go into details because they usually involve others. But I can say they almost always involved one thing: a failing of confidence on my part. I fail when I make decisions based on “settling for second-best” or on not having the confidence to push through a tough patch. Dodging conflict has also been pretty consistently a disaster, so I do a hell of a lot less of that in this part of my life.

Q: What did you learn from it? What would you do differently if a similar situation occurred?

It took me about 40 years to learn, and much of that in the last 10 years, but these days I stick closer to my own sense of right and wrong. I don’t mind conflict over something I believe in. I have started to see that the worst that can happen is not a hell of a lot. I trust my own experience, my own sense of things.

Q: This series is a lot about giving credit where credit is due. It’s about reaching out to both, people who could use a little help unlocking their potential and people who can help with that unlocking. Do you have a business mentor who helped curate your passion for small business consulting? What were the mentor’s practices? In other words, how did this person make an impact on you?

Where credit is due is first and foremost to my wife and family. Their passion for great moments, for things done right, for finding that place between standing your own ground and understanding the value of others, has been critical in making me who I am. On the small business side I don’t have any direct mentors. My biggest mentors are my clients. Every one of them owns a small business that is everything they have on the financial and other levels. Yet they trust me and have the confidence in me to invite me in and work with me to change the game. This can be incredibly scary and requires huge trust, particularly if I am asking an owner to change something that they have done for years, and is connected to their own personal values. Every time the change happens, and the owner let’s go, I am in awe. I know from personal experience how incredibly hard that is, even terrifying, yet they do it with me. That makes life worth getting up for each morning.

Also, I am the collective wisdom of every small business owner who has ever brought me into their inner circle and shared with me the workings of their businesses, their successes and failures, what has gotten them out of bed in the morning and kept them up at night. All of that is in my head. Any wisdom I bring to a coaching conversation now is 90% the collective wisdom of a lot of tough, hungry, street-smart business owners who have spent almost every day of their own lives pulling on their shoes and making life happen.

Q: What is your worst fear?

Missing something. I’m not like all those wise ‘old souls’ out there in the world of patchouli oil and Birkenstocks. I can’t get enough of anything. I love being alive and learning and consuming and enjoying. I guess I’m a young soul if you believe in that kind of thing… I don’t believe in that ‘vale of tears’ nonsense or that our bodies are “just material”… I love being alive and on this earth and have no interest in waiting for some ‘other later’ reality. I like this one. A lot. There is a reason why Walt Whitman is one of my favorite poets. So ya, I’m afraid of missing stuff. I want to live 1,000 years and try it all!

Q: What is the biggest obstacle/challenge you have had to overcome?

All that stuff about fear I talked about above. The rest is relatively easy. Following a close second would be bootstrapping my business. You build up a lot of debt in the first few years, and you have to be crazy careful not to let that cross the line where it erodes cash flow in a fatal way.

Q: What is the biggest challenge todays small business leaders are facing?

Gerber got it right: failing to understand that baking and owning a bakery are two completely different things. The biggest challenge they are facing is a world of ignorance and bullshit. All that “do what you love and the money will follow” nonsense. Running and growing a small business successfully is probably the most complex thing a human being can do. The number of things you have to know about and do right, and do right consistently, every day for a decade or two, is staggering.

So no, it isn’t the economy, or competition, or offshoring, or anything else like that. Those things are huge challenges, but they are not the biggest. The biggest challenge is the romantic mythology, especially in America, of owning your own business.

Q: What do you do to continue your growth as a consultant?

Listen to my clients. Listen to the market. Respond with an ever-broader and more diversified and responsive set of products and services. My new book Great Performances – The Small Business Script for the 21st Century is a piece of that. It is setting up a whole new way for me to connect with and support more small businesses to be successful.

And never forgetting who brung ya to the dance. I am a passionate believer in the power of follow-through and great long-term relationship development. I drop the ball lots, but I don’t ever stop trying to stay in touch with and add value to every business I have ever worked with.

Q: What are the golden life lessons you have learned and are willing to share with the readers from your experience as a small business consultant?

Spend more resources on keeping customers and employees than getting new ones. Don’t ever make the mistake that solid systems and procedures, creativity, and relationships are mutually exclusive. That is a myth that simply doesn’t exist in the world of the performing arts. Any ballet dancer, classical violinist, or rep actor could run circles around business people when it comes to getting that. Discipline, practice, organization, systems, all those things aren’t killers of creativity, they are the world’s best support for it.

So work harder to hang on to people, and work harder to bring more organization and systems to your business. Don’t shy away from that stuff.

_________________________________________________________________________________________

Some great places to find Clemens’s work:

Have more questions, topics of discussion or simply want to give a shout out to Clemens, you can tweet him @ClemensRettich.

 

Stay Positive & Stick To The Fundamentals, Or At Least Learn Them First

Garth E. Beyer

My Ishmael

Garth Beyer

I know that a couple book regurgitations ago I said that I really disliked reading books a second or third time. Not so ironically, this regurgitation of the book My Ishmael by Daniel Quinn is the result of a second reading. I knew it was an extremely powerful book and since I did not write a regurgitation last time, I wanted to write it before I gave it away for someone else to use as a tool to change the world.

The more books I read, especially ones by people like Daniel Quinn, the more I feel absolutely guilty of holding back the world when I put the book back on the shelf instead of giving it to someone else to read. Whether the person I give the book does the same or ends up sticking it on their shelf after reading it, at least I can say I gave a motivational tool to someone. I didn’t make it a keepsake. I helped the world become one person better than what it was by giving a good book to them. A good book can work wonders.

You will notice just how strong My Ishmael is as I write this regurgitation. Enjoy.

“Adults get real cranky if you quiz them about the scams they’re running on you.” (Pg 23) Real cranky, I might add.

 

If food became free, no more lock and no more key, what would become of thee.

You are food. You are who tradition feeds on endlessly.

But tradition holds the lock and you the key.- My own little jingle I came up with.

 

 

“Another rule of thumb you can use to identify the people of your culture is this: They perceive themselves to be members of a race that is fundamentally flawed and inherently doomed to suffering and misery. Because they’re fundamentally flawed, they expect wisdom to be a rare commodity, difficult to acquire. Because theyre inherently doomed, they’re not surprised to be living in the midst of poverty, injustice and crime, not surprised that their rulers are self-serving and corrupt, not surprised to be rendering the world uninhabitable for themselves. They may be indignant about these things, but they’re not surprised by them, because this is how they expect things to be.” (Pg 40)

I recently wrote a regurgitation on a book of history that persuaded me to comment about how history must to be taught in a way that teaches us “how” and “why”, not “what” happened. My Ishmael does part of it in the sense that he knows the future depends on understanding how we came to be the way we are.

I have always said that people want you to succeed, they really do. After reading My Ishmael, I realized why they do. People are meant to live successful lives. If we can just get enough people to ask themselves (ask yourself now), “Am I successful?” If the answer is no, then the way you’re living isn’t right and that effects everyone. You can’t not share success, so you must define what successful is and then try to live it that way for all of humanity to become wealthy. -And not the type of wealth that involves money, I’m speaking about the intangible kind of wealth-

 

Quinn notes how we perceive ourselves as being deprived of essential knowledge so special we can only access it through supernatural means. When really, essential knowledge comes from understanding and you don’t need superpowers to understand anything, just some time and a desire to actually understand it.Until that desire is declared, we will continue thinking of ourselves as wisdomonically impoverished. (Yes I made that word up)

Wisdom plays a huge role in Quinn’s reality that no invention ever comes into being fully developed in a single step from nothing. Wisdom is having an understanding of everything that has lead you to your current thought. It may take a billion ideas and theories before you become wise on a single subject just as it may take a billion projects and prototypes before an invention is fully developed. Most importantly, give it another year and the wise will become wiser and the inventor more inventive.

 

“Whatever grows without limit must inevitably end by overwhelming the universe” (Pg 62)

Quinn was sure to note that nothing comes into existence from failing and I had to add, ‘but anything can fail and become nonexistent.’

On the note of failure I must proclaim that anything that makes failure hurt will help you succeed.

“We know how to cope with everything that has already happened but we dont know how to cope with what has never happened before” – Daniel Quinn

Humans are passionate but inconsistent. [I’d like to quote myself on this…]

“I sense that more and more of you are becoming alarmed about your headlong plunge toward catastrophe. I sense that more and more of you are casting about for new ideas” (pg 127)

Quinn on school: “Do you know why students ask so many questions about their (the teachers) hobbies?” Because the teacher expresses real passion about it and even if the students don’t have any interest in their hobby, they are sung into listening from the teachers passion in telling.

School produces no value or skills because if they did, you would enter the job market competing with siblings for the same jobs that they worked to get by doing the menial jobs, the grunt work. That may be unfair to you, but I feel that the fact that it comes down to this is unfair.

“Imagine what a twelve-year-old with a musical bent could learn at a recording studio. Imagine what  twelve-year-old with an interest in animals could learn at a zoo. Imagine what a twelve-year-old with an interest in painting could learn in an artist’s studio. Imagine what a twelve-year-old with an interest in performing could learn in a circus.” (Pg 164)

I have to agree with Quinn that if people were free to follow their passions, there would not be a single occupation that someone wouldn’t pursue.

Note: One of Quinn’s golden nuggets is definitely his explanation of the ‘make products to get products’, ‘give support to get support’ charts. Highly worth reading just for that.

“A problem shared wildly is no problem at all” (Pg 183)

Quinn’s 7 point plan — One: the revolution won’t take place all at once. Two: it will be achieved incrementally, by people working off each other’s ideas. Three: it will be led by no one. Four: it will not be the initiative of any political, governmental, or religious body. Five: it has no target end point. Six: it will proceed according to no plan. Seven: it will reward those who further the revolution with the coin of the revolution.

 

A positive revolution can only occur when you give something better than what a person already has. By giving something better, they lose interest in what they we’re just doing. I suppose that is a background theme to why I write; I just want you to know of all the possibilities and options that are open to you in hopes that you will let go of the destructive habits well all indulge ourselves in. I give you my total support. No reservations.

Humans are taught to expect little from life. Can we change that?

 

Stay Positive & An Experienced Intriguer And Confidence Trickster

Garth E. Beyer