Fear

The Quick And Short Way

Garth Beyer

Robert Frost never got to finish his sequel. His sequel goes something like this: “After taking the road less travelled, I soon found myself at another fork in the road.”

When one stops looking for the quick and short way, and instead goes the route of challenges, obstacles, and facing fear, the long and rough shapes itself into the quick and short.

Most people realize this, however, its “tragic” because now you have to do the long and rough more often.

 

Stay Positive & It’s Scary, But Not A Bad Thing

Garth E. Beyer

Are You Up For It? (A Bit About The Lizard Brain)

Garth Beyer

When you consider taking a risk, taking an action for something you want, you have twenty seconds to act before the lizard brain fires up. Once the lizard brain realizes you’re about to take a risk, it will make you think of every reason not to take it, not to do what you want.

If you don’t know already, it’s referred to as the twenty second theory: you have twenty seconds to act on your thought before the lizard brain kicks in. After the twenty seconds, it only gets more and more difficult to make the leap, to take the risk.

I’ve recently wondered if it’s better to – after the twenty seconds and the lizard brain is going – to just completely forget about the action you want to take. Why fight the lizard brain? There will be more opportunities, right? Or is it better to fight the lizard brain and see if you can beat it. From experience, I would say that you will win 1 out of 10 battles against the lizard brain. But is the stress of having to go through the other 9 battles worth it?

By not fighting the lizard brain, you feel a sense of relief. There’s no stress, no nervousness, no adrenaline rush, no anxiety, and most importantly, no regret that you considered something so deeply but never followed through.

But what if you end up challenging and beating the lizard brain; wouldn’t the success of whatever you were risking be glorious and euphoric enough to counter any of the hardships you have had to face in the past?

What if I had a solution for you? I do. (HT Keegan Morgan)

After the twenty seconds are up and you don’t act, ask yourself this important question,

are you up for it? Up for the battle with the lizard brain, up to the risks, up to the possibility of still being rejected after following through? The lizard brain can’t infiltrate this thought process; the beauty of knowing exactly what you want (and making the conscious decision to go after it) will make the lizard brain back off. The lizard brain is strong, but it has nothing on will power.

The next time you miss your twenty second window, the next time you catch yourself getting anxious, thinking of dozens of reasons not to send the email, make the phone call, ask that someone for their number, or make that committment, ask yourself, are you up for it?

 

Stay Positive & It’s Alright If You’re Not! But… Keep Track

Garth E. Beyer

How You Know That You Are Doing What You Need To

Garth Beyer

If this is at all confusing, it’s because you have a difficult time accepting it. The same went for me at first.

***

When there are things that you would rather be doing or that you just want to do, perhaps going to the art museum, hanging around the park more often, or reading more, you know that you have to keep doing what you’re doing.

That craving – when you are actually busy – to do other things (and sometimes even to do nothing) means you’re on the right track and that you need to keep going.

Our minds direct our attention towards things that we would rather be doing because what we are doing is hard work. Our brain wants to distract us, wants to pull our attention toward something more entertaining (and less productive). Often referred to as the lizard brain, this subconscious mental effort for distraction is a cloak of fear. The more we get on the path of productivity, reaching our goals, putting in emotional labor, and putting ourselves and our art out there, the more fear sets in and the lizard brain starts working in every way possible.

The most popular way clearly being the desire to do something more fun than what you are currently doing.

When really, if what you have to be focusing on now didn’t exist, you wouldn’t really be doing what you think you would rather be doing now. You’d be doing nothing.

 

Stay Positive & Outsmart Your Brain. Push Through

Garth E. Beyer

You Hate What You Do, But Your The Best At It

Garth Beyer

I would beg to differ. If you are comparing yourself to the hundreds of other people who don’t like what they are doing, but do it anyway, than maybe you are the best at it.

But generally speaking, there is no way you’re the best at it. If I found someone (which I’m sure I could) that really wanted to do your job, that actually enjoys it, that may even say they love it, then I would put all my money on them doing a better job than you.

Just because you’re great at something, doesn’t mean you’re the best at it.

Especially if you don’t love what you’re doing.

 

Stay Positive & Stop Using That As An Excuse To Not Go Do What You Love

Garth E. Beyer

The Finish Line

Garth Beyer

What I love about runners, racecar drivers, swimmers, and any racer in general is that when they reach the finish line, they don’t stop. They zoom through it and then start to slow down.

Taking a finish line literally, it means you finish at the line, as in, you stop on the line. Why go past it if it’s the finish line? Taking it literally would mean that you need to slow down before you get to the finish line so you can stop on it.

In reality, that’s actually what a lot of people do. The closer they get to their goal, the slower they get. They want their step on the finish line to be perfect. Plenty of times over, the fear of success, the fear of it not being perfect, stops them from making it to the finish line. Once near it, they take a couple of steps back just to make sure they are doing everything right.

Don’t.

Find out where the finish line is drawn and run past it.

You don’t need to be a racer to live the concept of a finish line. Have a goal? Blow past it, slow down, and then evaluate. You will learn, adapt, and grow much quicker than if you stop before you finish just to evaluate something you havn’t completed.

 

Stay Positive & Let’s Race To Our Goals This Year (and by to, I mean past)

Garth E. Beyer

Making Better Choices

Garth Beyer

From time to time, we all say to ourselves, “From here on out, I’m going to make better/smarter/bolder choices.” Usually, we make a mistake and promise ourselves we won’t do it again.

A good percent of the time, we break those promises. We don’t make better choices, we just find a different way to make a wrong choice. And maybe that’s okay, maybe that still get’s us in the right direction or at least closer to it.

The real trigger to knowing you will make better choices is when you want to go back in the past to make them. It is only when you want to make better choices in your past, that your future choices are guaranteed to be better.

The future, that’s the scary part because the choices you want to make, well, you may not have to make them. The future may have something else in store for you.

To make better choices, you have to break the illusion that better choices come from the past or in the future. The only choice that matters right now is the one you’re currently making.

And if you’re choosing to dwell on the past or fear for the future, you’re not making better choices.

 

Stay Positive & Choose Wisely, Moment To Moment

Garth E. Beyer

One Of Life’s Favorite Students

Garth Beyer

Ben & Jerry’s ice cream had some wise words to share. The bottom of the ice cream lid said “A dream alone is just a dream. A dream together is reality.” I am one motivated and high-hoped soul with dreams above the clouds. One year ago, I read the quote by Ben & Jerry and realized that I was going to need a partner in some of my business-creating endeavors. I could only think of one person that I would want to build a business with: Katie Christianson.

All throughout middle school, I grew up knowing Katie, but never talked to her until high school. Our ambitions aligned when we were both offered a chance to be in a program that allowed us to attend college full-time and skip our junior and senior years of high school. It was in college when we realized we had a similarly ambitious mindset and became close friends. Who better choose to interview than someone with a “make the most out of life” attitude?

Having just turned 20, Katie was born in Chicago and raised in Belvidere, Illinois. Katie is now back in Chicago getting her Bachelor’s degree in Business Administration at Loyola University. While a formal education has taught her a lot, some of her biggest lessons came from the greatest teacher known to women, Life. With a mere 20 years of being Life’s student, Katie has learned more than those who are twice her age.

Katie Christianson

At the age of five, she realized that you don’t need anyone to tell you what you can and can’t do. Her mom took her, her sister, and her aunt to Florida when her dad was being a grouch about spending money. “Fine,” her mom said, “we will go without you.” Katie now affirms that you don’t let people hold you back, especially not when they hold you back from maximizing the quality of your life.

Kids will believe anything. And once they believe it, there is little anyone can say or do to change that belief. Katie was no exception to this rule. She shared her story about how she thought she was being evicted when she was six years old.

I thought my parents were lying to me when I came home from kindergarten one day and saw a “for sale” sign in the front yard of our house because my dad was always commenting about how broke we were. My mom was the opposite and would spend her last dime on making us happy so that we always felt secure, but I knew she was just being protective. So when I came home and saw a “for sale” sign in the front yard of our home, I thought we were being kicked out. My mom told me it was because the landlord passed away, but I didn’t believe her. This experience made me realize how important money was. It made me be creative and very budget-conscious even as a six year old. I felt guilty if I spent my parent’s money at all knowing that those funds were being pulled away from something else, so I would try selling lemonade or my belongings to make money. I later realized that the story my mom told me was actually true once I understood how estates are handled after the owner dies, but by the time I fully understood the concept, being savvy was already a part of who I was.

This story screams “maturity,” but, let’s face it, Katie was six years old – still a kid. That leaves an open question, just when did she grow up? Contrary to any assumption, Katie grew up two years after the house-for-sale controversy. After a work-related accident, Katie’s mom became permanently disabled. At first, this had no real effect on Katie other than her mom was always home and her dad worked more. It wasn’t until the day Katie fell off her bike in the street outside her house that she fully understood the effect of her mother’s permanent disability. “I started crying for her.” It was in that moment, when her mom looked at her from the window, that Katie knew there wasn’t going to be anyone coming outside to help her. “I had to help myself. I had to get up, brush myself off, and get out of the street. That’s the day I grew up.”

Among these lessons, Katie learned countless others. She developed a fear of having regret at her deathbed after living with a family member who found out he had terminal cancer the same day he had to have both legs amputated due to diabetes. Recently, Katie learned life is about finding hope in hopeless situations after losing her best friend on June 4th, 2012. As Katie puts it, “there are so many people who need you to pull through so that they can find the strength to pull through themselves.” Since as far back as Katie can remember, she knew that there was something deep within her, something special. “I know if I don’t make the most of each day, I am hindering this inner power.” She understands that she is in this world for a greater cause, admirably selfless in her way of living.

In addition to the hardships and lessons life has taught her, she has also had to combat the deep stereotypes about women that have been ingrained into society. I have witnessed with my own eyes that Katie has had to work harder to stand out. People automatically look to men to lead situations and they are surprised to see Katie being the one to take charge. Katie also admits that it’s a challenge, being a woman, to control her emotions. However, she says, “Women’s brains are wired to be 7 times more emotional than men, so it makes us better able to empathize. My ability to understand different perspectives has made me a better listener and a better friend.”

Personally, I have to say that all that makes Katie who she is doesn’t turn her into just a better friend, it makes her the best. Her determination is ruthless and her compassion and selflessness is considered, by some, to be reckless. Heck, I’m even a bit frightened of where she’s going in life. The goals Katie has set out to accomplish may come as a shock because she doesn’t just dream big, she dreams of turning the impossible into done it and onto the next one. I have learned so much from Katie and she has brought me to tears with her stories of how she got to where she is today. If there is one thing that I would take away from all Katie has taught me, it is that “it’s about persevering when everyone around you would understand if you didn’t.”

 

Stay Positive & Keep At It Katie

Garth E. Beyer

Katie has just started up her blog. You can visit it here