Impatience

Five Minutes Ago

Garth Beyer

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Can anyone relate, that as kids, you were impatient? You couldn’t quite understand why you had to wait in the grocery line so long, or wait in the car while your parents went into a store, or wait for your sibling to get out of basketball practice, or wait for this, or wait for that.

No need to raise your hands with this question, how many have you have been told to have patience? Or that patience is a virtue? Or to just be patient?

We grew up being told over and over to be patient, to wait, to not rush. I’m actually happy to break the news to you … we were taught wrong. Patience is not a virtue – yes, from time to time we can benefit from it but that is simply because as we are being patient, as we wait, our expectations of the result slowly lower so that by the time what we were being patient about happens, we’re just happy it finally happened!

Let’s start with a story. I recently went on a tour of different public relations industries in Chicago with the Public Relations Student Society of America. We all want to be public relations specialists and journalists. I’ve been in the writing industry for quite some time and have some strong contacts here in Madison. While on the trip I got to talking with a girl who is a senior at UW Madison, getting her degree in Journalism. She wants to work in the magazine industry. We talked a lot about it and I mentioned to her that I knew a couple people in Madison in the magazine industry that I could connect her with. We talked it over and I said if she emailed me some examples of her writing, I would review them and then if they met my standards, I would recommend her to the contacts I know. I figured that weekend she would email me. She didn’t. Being forgiving, I sent her a message reminding her I was willing to help her out any way I could and to send me a piece of content. She never did.

This is how I see it. She had patience. She figured if I was willing to help her then she didn’t need to get me an example of her writing right away. Then, as she put it off fear sank in. That’s what happens when you’re patient: fear sinks in, always.

As she waited, taking her time to respond to me, her mind gave her dozens of reasons why she shouldn’t ship me her writing, her art. She began to doubt me because I’m a student too. Maybe her ego told her she wanted to do this on her own. Regardless, if she had reacted immediately, sent me her writing, she could be making progress. But she didn’t. Inaction always proceeds patience.

One last note on the pitfalls of patience. Many people use patience to think things over, to ask better questions, to contemplate the situation, to work their brain. To that I have one thing to say, doing so sparks more fear than certainty. Instead of being patient and letting that happen, that’s why we have what is called an “experience”, that’s why we have evaluations, that’s why we have feedback. If we always do the checking before finishing, we will never finish, never follow through, and never send that email.

Let’s take a different look at impatience, specifically, the benefits of it. In my writing, I always end with saying a reminder to Stay Positive & something else that relates to what I wrote about. Being impatient is one of the greatest actions you can take to stay positive. When you are impatient, you always expect the positive, the best case scenario. You don’t have time for road bumps, detours, or anything else getting in your way. In other words, when you are impatient, you never focus on what you don’t want. And in the case that something problematic does arise, there is no sulking in it, you fix it fast and move on. Impatience will get you places more often than it will prevent you from reaching them. When you’re focused and positive, those are traits of someone unstoppable.

“We must always work, and a self-respecting artist must not fold his hands on the pretext that he is not in the mood. If we wait for the mood, without endeavoring to meet it half-way, we easily become indolent and apathetic … sometimes you just get in there and just force yourself to work, and maybe something good will come out.” – Russian orchestrator, Peter Tchaikovsky

 

Stay Positive & Impatience Credits You To Choose Conventionality

Garth E. Beyer

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We Want…

Garth Beyer

We want what when we want it. The real trouble is that it’s extremely hard to convince ourselves that we really want it now when it’s so easy (and illusively harmless) to put it off till later.

People think the problem is choosing what you want. It’s not. We can always find somethign we want. The real insight and issue lies in that there’s never as much risk in wanting something than in wanting it now.

Which is supposed to be a good enough reason to want it at a later time.

It’s not.

 

Stay Positive & Hold Yourself To The Now, Not The Later, Soon, Or Sometime

Garth E. Beyer

Missing Your Shot

Garth Beyer

There’s two variations.

The first is when you take the shot and you miss it.

The second is when you miss your chance to take the shot.

It seems that the world gives us a sin wave of a life with the first variation above the line and second, below. We smoothly transition from taking a shot and missing it to passing up the next shot we can take.

It’s painful to get rejected, turned down, thrown back, kicked around, or left behind. The feeling is terrible and as a result, we think we’re better off not taking the shot at all. But, let’s make this realization together. Knowing that you missed your chance to take the shot feels a thousand times worse than taking it and missing.

Maybe you don’t feel that way at first, another one bites the dust right? And plus, it’s easy to say that more opportunities will come your way, not taking your shot on this one is fine. The thing is … your reactions to each type of “missed shot” accumulates.

The more times you take a shot but miss, the more likely you’ll be to make it next time you take a shot. Eventually reaching success.

On the other hand, the more times you miss taking the shot, well, that’s it, that’s a lot of shots missed. You’re no closer to success. You haven’t learned anything. You lost. Lizard brain 1, you 0.

I’ll challenge you to keep track of all those shots you don’t take. When fear sits next to you, tells you to wait, tells you to be patient, or tells you that now just isn’t the right time, record it.

1 for the lizard brain 0 for you.

No matter your type of personality, no matter the situation, no matter your goals in life; when anyone sees that the lizard brain is up 5 to 0, that provides all the motivation to take the shot with the next opportunity. Sure, it’s a way to cheat the system, but, hey, it works. Trust me.

 

Stay Positive & Keeping Track Of Shots On Goal Can Make You Feel Pretty Good Too

Garth E. Beyer

Taking Inventory

Garth Beyer

I’ve written a bunch about starting fresh this new year. This post is by far my favorite

Ship or Delete

Taking Inventory

Nah. It’s more like getting rid of your inventory. Very cut and dry.

Go through all of your lists right now: your projects, your folders, your notes, your journals, your goals, and either ship or delete them.

Simple right?

Well you’re going to come across a project and think to yourself, “Well this is something that I can’t ship right now because it’s unfinished and it’ll take time to be finished.”

Decide right now whether you will actually finish it within the next two months. If yes, then do it. If no, then either delete it or ship a short version of it. Put it out there for someone else to work on.

There are a couple of concepts at play here.

The first is that if your idea was remarkable enough, you would be working on it constantly or would be passionate enough to complete it within two months.

The second is that if you can withhold one of your ideas, one of your projects, then you are saying it’s not important enough to be delivered right away. (If it is, then now I’m mad that you’ve made me wait so long and won’t buy into it when you finally deliver it.)

The new year is about starting fresh. You have 21 days to go through all you have and either ship or delete. Ship or delete. Ship or delete.

In order for a door to open, you must close one. Actually, the cool thing about life is that when one door closes, a million open for you. How many will you have opened for the new year?

 

Stay Positive & Make Room For New Inventory

Garth E. Beyer

 

Take Time

Garth Beyer

Take time to figure yourself out.

Take time to realize what it is you want.

Take time to forget.

Take time to remember.

Take time to forgive.

Take time to decide.

Take time to love.

Take time to risk.

Take time to reply.

And then, when you’re finally ready, when the moment finally feels perfect, when there is no more doubt, you won’t have any time.

Act now, Ship today, Give everyday, Tell your feelings immediately, Decide quickly and accurately, Take A Risk, Make it short,

 

Stay Positive & Keep Giving It Your All

Garth E. Beyer

Cool thing is that by acting now, you have more time to recover, change strategy, or try something new – and that will make all the difference.

Start Schooling Dreams (Speech)

Garth Beyer

A few weeks ago, with my upcoming (now partially released) eBook, Start Schooling Dreams, I presented a speech to my Toastmasters club on three chapters of SSD.

Responses: “Fantastic & engaging. Excellent job w/ including the entire audience.” I even curved some mindsets of people who regard themselves as true “schoolies.” Above all, every single person couldn’t help but note my passion for it. I truly am passionate about improving school/education/learning, whatever you want to title it. Without further ado, here is my speech. (I’ll start videotaping them from now on.)

 

*Welcoming Applaus*

Alright, I’m going to ask you just a couple questions and I reallllly want you to raise your hand to answer.

How many of you have a passion for something?

How many of you found this passion, whether it is just a hobby or an actual job, from school?

It’ll be easier for you all to see if I asked it this way, how many of you developed your passion outside of school?

Yes this speech is partially about where you find your passion, but more about where you don’t find it; school.

One more question, let’s imagine this room being occupied by a real teacher and packed with real students. And the teacher asks a question, how many of you are passionate about this class? *No hands go up… people laugh at the realization*

Education is racing … to the bottom.  And I want to cover three points out of my 35,000 word manifesto I’ve written called Start Schooling Dreams. Since the Pygmalion affect, impatience, and accidents are three separate chapters in my book, I’m going to make it easy for you to catch my transitions.

Whenever I ask you a new question, I’m going to lead into the next topic and I’ll expect you to acknowledge by raising your hands or nodding your head. Does that sound fair enough? [Yes… that was a question]

Pygmalion Effect

I took a sociology class a couple of years ago and I loved it. Particularly, I loved asking questions in the class. Not just any questions, specific types of questions. Questions that couldn’t be answered, questions that made you think. But one day, I asked a question thinking I was being sly again, but I got an answer back. And that answer still scares me to this day.

We were learning about the Pygmalion effect, also known as the Rosenthal effect. It refers to the observable fact that the greater the expectation of a student, the better they perform.

I raised my hand during one sociology lesson and asked my question …

“Are teachers taught about the Pygmalion effect?”

I wasn’t the only one shocked at the answer, all the students and even the teacher were taken aback.

Am I wrong to think that a single teacher can’t have a powerful and positive expectation of only 30 students?

I have seen teachers tell other teachers how a student is a bad student, how they don’t listen, or that they aren’t very smart. I have also seen the teacher whom that was told to, change their behavior toward that student when she entered their class. As a result? The student became worse, listened less and became – dare I say it – even dumber.

All the while, the few “bright” students got brighter because the teachers challenged them and expected them to be “perfect” students.

Want to create passionate learners in school? Expect passionate learners.

Want to expect passionate learners? Hire teachers who understand the Pygmalion effect.

Impatience

Who here is impatient?

Wonderful, I admire that. Impatience is a valuable talent to have and it’s a hard talent to acquire when going to school because school initiates patience. You have to be patient and wait to get to the next lesson and you have to wait until the class you really love that starts at 2:00pm. Worst of all, you have to wait until the class you despise is over. Day after day.

The most successful people on the planet can’t handle being patient. Younger versions of the most successful people in the world will, instead of memorizing facts in the class, exchange it with practicing their passion, planning to ship their product their letter, their art, and so on.

Teachers are meant to spark impatience but so few do. Out of the 30 plus teachers I’ve had, only one has wanted all the students to learn, to dream, to find and go after their passion. Only one out of 14+ years of school.

The need of the student isn’t to learn information; it’s to be motivated to learn it and the best way to motivate that is to spark impatience.

Accidents And Questions

Which came first, the dumb caveman or the fire?

Either way, the discovery of fire was an accident but that accident made a dumb caveman look smart – of course, after it made him seem dumb for touching it and burning himself.

What matters is that breakthroughs used to happen very often. It has died down, not because of everything that can be discovered has, but because we reprimand those who make accidents or constantly ask questions.  Without the curiosity and the mistakes of the caveman, we may never have evolved into who we are today.

The biggest successes in history were accidents or resulted from consistent questioning.

I found two great examples to share with you.

Will Keith Kellogg had accidentally left some boiled wheat sitting out and it went stale. Instead of throwing it away, Will and his brother Dr. John Harvey Kellogg put it through the rollers to make long sheets of dough. Once it went through, they realized the dough had turned into flakes which they decided to toast. Soon after, they chose to run the same experiment with corn and in 1906 the Kellogg’s company was created, along with the internationally known Corn Flakes.

Richard James, a naval engineer attempted to invent a spring that would stabilize the sensitivity of ships equipment. When a spring he had worked on fell off a shelf and continued moving away, the idea was sparked. With help from his wife, they decided to name the invention Slinky and have sold over 270 million globally.

Scientists, engineers, philosophers and alike, all became famous due to the questions they posed and accidents made. They would ask why until they either found an answer or created one.

Setting things on fire and seeing what happens is helpful too. If you think about it, you can’t be smart until you are dumb.

Now that we know what it means to be smart, what is success?

School is all about success but it’s taught us to love success instead of teaching us of what we are doing. School has said, “Here is success, follow this curriculum to get it.” When school really needs to be saying, “Where is success? How will you get there? How can I help?”

In school, the result holds significance. At the end of life though, is it the results we have attained that makes it a life worth lived, a significant life, one that was lived to the fullest?

Or at the end of life, is it the journey, the actions we took, the decisions we made, the experience we accumulated, the adventure we enjoyed and the understanding of it all that makes life, well, … Life.

The definition school has for “success” is all too wrong. And I knowing the Pygmalion effect, sparking impatience, and creating an environment open for accidents and failure are just three ways education can begin to change for the better. Let’s race to the top.

 

Stay Positive & If You Haven’t Already …Here Are The First 14 Chapters!

Garth E. Beyer