The Best Matchmaker In Yonkers Invented A Woman

In Thornton Wilder’s The Matchmaker, a rich grump named Horace Vandergelder hires Dolly Levi to find him a wife. Dolly, who wants the job of wife for herself, does not compete for it. Competing is for amateurs. Instead she invents Ernestina Simple: a heiress of great beauty, impeccable manners, and zero existence.

Ernestina’s job is not to be chosen. Ernestina’s job is to stand next to Dolly and lose.

Economists eventually caught up to this trick and named it the decoy effect. It’s why the menu carries a lobster nobody orders. The lobster isn’t food. The lobster is a spotlight operator, and it points its beam at the steak.

Here’s the uncomfortable part. Nothing in your life gets chosen on its own merits. Not products, not job candidates, not you. Everything gets chosen against a lineup, and whoever builds the lineup wins before the judging starts. Dolly understood that the question is never “am I good?” The question is “what am I standing next to?” Or, as we more regularly say in our day-to-day… “Compared to what?”

Marketers who get this stop polishing the product and start composing the shelf. Good, better, best. The oversized option that makes the middle one feel wise. The premium tier that exists so the standard tier can look like a steal wearing a tuxedo.

And people who get this stop letting strangers cast their comparisons. Scroll long enough and you’ll find yourself standing in a lineup you never agreed to, somewhere between a guy with a boat and a woman whose kitchen has never known crumbs. That lineup was composed too. Just not by you, and not in your favor.

You can’t opt out of comparison. Nobody can; it’s how choosing works. But you can notice who arranged the shelf. You can ask what the lobster is selling. You can decline to be somebody else’s Ernestina.

…

Dolly gets her man, by the way. The fictional heiress retires undefeated, having lost exactly as planned.

Stay Positive & Shelves Are Ready For (Your?) Stocking